What do you call......???

[Jake D]

You know you live in a backwards state when a can of Skoal costs $11.

They are $4 here! 

Crazy north western hicks! 

At least there are two major cities in Missouri.  Plus a city that has the highest education per capita in the nation (Columbia, MO).

[RVertigo]

Everything tobacco is expensive here...  Alcohol too...  Sin tax is pretty popular around here...  And now those bastards banned smoking in public places.

Education rating has little to do with the hick quota...  New York, L.A., and San Francisco all have shitty schools.

St. Louis has a population of less than 400,000 and Kansas City is less than 450,000...  That's friggen' PO-DUNK!!!  The whole state is only 5.5 mil...  That's even less than Washington.


C'mon...  Everyone knows that the mid-west is just a bunch of hicks anyway.   

[Grainbelt]

I just moved to Saskatchewan, which for the many who don't know, is the province north of eastern montana and western NoDak.   Talk about weird words and habits -- I still can't get used to seeing 'sportscentre' on tv...

Kudos to anyone who knows the definition of:

Gitch (see also Gotch)
Bunny Hug
Kerfuffle
Schwack
Wonky

They ask if you want white or brown(wheat) bread. Only place I've been where I your fries come with gravy, and conversely you can't get mashed potatoes at KFC.  I ordered a bacon cheeseburger, and it had ham on it. (cdn bacon).

Cigs are $10/pack and a six-pack of Bass is $13. Gas is currently $.93/litre.

I will say new york has some goofy dialect as well, I lived near Poughkeepsie (upstate??) as a very young kid (Wappingers Falls, anyone?  no?  ok), I still know when a family friend from out there calls.  And soda is 'pop' in parts of minnesota as well.

[bubba zanetti]

Well down here a Kerfuffle is a mix up or disorder.

WonkyMeans something is out of shape, bent etc, not working properly

[Grainbelt]

Bubba's right on.

Gitch and Gotch are underwear.  as in 'sitting around in your gitch'.
A schwack is a bunch
a bunny hug is a hoodie. no idea where they came up with that.

[Jake D]

St. Louis has a population of less than 400,000 and Kansas City is less than 450,000...  That's friggen' PO-DUNK!!!  The whole state is only 5.5 mil...  That's even less than Washington.


C'mon...  Everyone knows that the mid-west is just a bunch of hicks anyway.   

Missouri has 7 professional sports teams, which is the only the modern measure of the worth of your state.  Please note that this is more than any state other than NY, CA, TX and FL. 

Please don't try and compare your piss ant little state to mine.

Thanks for playing!   

[Badger]

Missouri has 7 professional sports teams, which is the only the modern measure of the worth of your state.

So...you're measuing the "worth of your state" using the Royals as a benchmark?  *chuckle*  You must measure solely by quantity, not quality. 


[just in case it's not obvious...I'm kidding.]

[mastrind]

Missouri has 7 professional sports teams, which is the only the modern measure of the worth of your state.  Please note that this is more than any state other than NY, CA, TX and FL. 

Please don't try and compare your piss ant little state to mine.

Thanks for playing!   

Well...PA has 2 NHL(Flyers/Pens), 2 NFL(Eagles/Steelers), 2 MLB(Phils/Pirates), & 1 NBA (76ers)....which is 7 in my book....not including an AFL team and an NLL (old MILL)...

.....actually what teams does Miss have?...

2 NFL (Chiefs/Rams), 2 MLB (Royals/Cardinals), & 1 NHL (Blues)....what 2 treams am I missing??....cause that's only 5.....1 MLS team (Wizards)...but if we count them then PA's other two teams get in also....so who else is there?....

[mastrind]

also...Ohio has 8....

2 MLB,(Reds/Indians) 2 NFL (Bengals/Browns), 1 NHL (Blue Jackets), 1 NBA (Cavs), 1 MLS, 1 WNBA.....

[Jake D]

Missouri has 7 professional sports teams, which is the only the modern measure of the worth of your state.

So...you're measuing the "worth of your state" using the Royals as a benchmark?  *chuckle*  You must measure solely by quantity, not quality. 


[just in case it's not obvious...I'm kidding.]

Hey, I used to have a Johnny Damon jersey too.  Don't feel bad about it.     I've got an autographed Damon ball if you want it.  Home run ball.  And a picture of me shaking his hand in the Royals home dug out.  That was many years ago.

You know. . . before he was a Yankee. 

[Jake D]

also...Ohio has 8....

2 MLB,(Reds/Indians) 2 NFL (Bengals/Browns), 1 NHL (Blue Jackets), 1 NBA (Cavs), 1 MLS, 1 WNBA.....

No fair cheating. . . WNBA???  I considered that a tie with Ohio.

And besides, I'm not counting Kansas City's AFL (arena football team) the Brigade.  Which would make 8 (hey, they'll draw more than a WNBA team will). 

[RVertigo]

Missouri has 7 professional sports teams, which is the only the modern measure of the worth of your state.

Sports are for slope-browed cave men to get their rocks off...   Civilized people spend their time pursuing substantial endeavors.  Besides that, the Bay Area ALONE has more sports teams than your whole state.

WA has more people...  And more money...  And I'd bet more colleges...  CA whoops MO's ass on everything (except percentage of hicks)...

Here's your judge (I'll say it in hick for you, so you can understand)...  "If'n yer state ain't on the coast, yer in a hick state."

Now, there are hick states on the coast too, but all the non-hick states are coastal.  Point proven...  Just give it up man, you live in a hick state.  WA may be the land of unwed mothers, stinky hippies, and coffee freaks, but this side of the mountains isn't hick...

I'll give you Eastern WA...  They're a bunch of hicks over there.   

[Jake D]

Overheard at dinner on or about December 15, 2005, Seattle, Washington:

davipu: Ryan, I am thinking about leaving the forum for good.

Ryan: Why would you do that?  We need you.

davipu: RG is fed up with it all.  The narrow mindedness.  All the rubes in the mid-west with their backwards thinking.  She is leaving and as a result, I am too.

Ryan: Man, that sucks.  Won't be the same without you.

davipu: But I want you to do one thing for me.

Ryan: Name it.

davipu: I want you to give Jake D hell from time to time.

Ryan: Really?

davipu: Yes.  Promise me.

Ryan: Okay, I promise.  You going to eat that last roll?  <pauses>  Wow.  Look at that ocean.  I've never been in the water up here.  Looks cold.

davipu: It is.  I've never been in it either, but I know a guy.

[RVertigo]

 

But...  I HAVE been in the water...  And it is cold... Really cold.

Well, at least you know I'm just flipping you shaZam!...  I've been to Missouri once...  It was muggy and flat.  That's really all I know about it.   I've been a West Coast kid my whole life...  Never spend much time on the East Coast, Midwest, or in the South.  Althought, I was born in a cowboy state and my dad was a TOTAL hick. 

[Badger]

No fair cheating. . . WNBA???  I considered that a tie with Ohio.

And besides, I'm not counting Kansas City's AFL (arena football team) the Brigade.  Which would make 8 (hey, they'll draw more than a WNBA team will). 

Bet you guys don't have a professional lacrosse team.  Mark your calendar...we even get to host the MLL All Star game this year!  I'm all tingly with anticipation!  Now all we need is a dodgeball league...or professional four-square...the sky's the limit!  Maybe a few more professional sports teams and we can finally be a real city in the eyes of Jake D! (dare we dream?)   

Go Cannons!  

[ajgs500]

Lacrosse is soooooooooo New England!!!!!!!!

[Onlypastrana199]

ha but ur girl can still knock u on ur ass....couple other people at that matter....plus its got meaning its not some pointless game..it has spiritual meaning! Besides baby its in my blood..u date the girl u date the game   

[ajgs500]

Yeah yeah so you are stronger than me.  Big Deal i will just put things in High places.  Oh and before u come to Indiana you have some research to do.  Learn who Steve Alford and Damon Bailey are, cause if you dont people will laugh at you.  We are crazy mofo's about basketball here.

[Onlypastrana199]

Hey i'll jus tell them that they offend me and then i'll sue em for racial discrimination and make u rename ur state 

[ajgs500]

Hey i'll jus tell them that they offend me and then i'll sue em for racial discrimination and make u rename ur state 

Fine with me but we will have to rename my city too.