Liberal vs. Conservative Thought

[Old Mr. Wilson]

Liberal=accepted "new" meaning of Democrat Freak Party
Conservative=Republican and/or surely Southern


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge
knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at
you. You are carrying a <insert favorite high-cap handgun here>, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

................................................................

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done
anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want
to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier
street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
...............................................................

Republican's Answer:
BANG!
................................................................

Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click................(sounds of reloading.)
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

[roguegeek]

Oh here we go...

[TadMC]

x

[flyingbeagle71]

What's a respectable Southern Republican doing with a 18 round, probably 9mm baby handgun.  Shouldn't it be just 6 or 7 .45 ACP rounds???   

[TadMC]

x

[blue05twin]

Well I thought it was funny 

[CirclesCenter]

Yep, because all of us liberals are totally incapable of perceiving a threat.

[TadMC]

x

[roguegeek]

I kinda like this one:

Q: How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative?
A: Watch a man drowning fifty feet offshore.
    - The conservative will throw out 25 feet of rope and shout "swim for it!"
    - The liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope, drop his own end, and go off to do another good deed.

A little poke at both.

[aaronstj]

See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:

1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.

If a person is actually being attacked, liberal or conservative, I guarantee they'll fight back.  But your typical conservative can't tell the difference between an actual, ongoing attack and the threat of attack in the future.  They're so paranoid, they just believe they're actually being attacked all the time, and lash out at anyone that looks, acts, or thinks different.  Because they can't adapt to different situations, they almost almost choose the wrong course of action.

2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint

You're and Iraqi citzen walking down a Fallujah street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an American Soldiert with and mM16 comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises his gun, and charges at
you. You are carrying an AK-47, and you are an expert shot.

3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution

A fine exemple of conservative thinking.  The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists.  It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts.  Nope.  We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.

[roguegeek]

See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:
1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.
2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint
3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution
A fine exemple of conservative thinking.  The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists.  It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts.  Nope.  We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.

+1 This is absolutely right on, but I don't feel like getting all serious right now, though, so I'll post a couple more jokes.

Like this little ghey dancing pink repu... err... elephant.

[CirclesCenter]

Yep, because all of us liberals are totally incapable of perceiving a threat.

And that doesn't seem like a J/K? Okay maybe a barbed one but still a joke....

[Ed_in_Az]

Good one Wilson.

[flyingbeagle71]

See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:

1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.

If a person is actually being attacked, liberal or conservative, I guarantee they'll fight back.  But your typical conservative can't tell the difference between an actual, ongoing attack and the threat of attack in the future.  They're so paranoid, they just believe they're actually being attacked all the time, and lash out at anyone that looks, acts, or thinks different.  Because they can't adapt to different situations, they almost almost choose the wrong course of action.

2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint

You're and Iraqi citzen walking down a Fallujah street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an American Soldiert with and mM16 comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises his gun, and charges at
you. You are carrying an AK-47, and you are an expert shot.

3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution

A fine exemple of conservative thinking.  The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists.  It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts.  Nope.  We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.

Nice twist on reality though...

[TadMC]

x

[roguegeek]

You know it was a joke. I know it was a joke. Just because a majority of people would probably know it's a joke doesn't mean it wont offend someone, though, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[Unnamed]

Allah means God in Arabic. Its misleading that news outlets and editorial writers choose to use Allah instead of God. After all, they translated everything else the speaker said. When an editorial writer (or in this case a joke writer) writes Allah instead of God in an English sentence it creates an aritifical separation between language speakers.

[Ed_in_Az]

See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:

1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.

If a person is actually being attacked, liberal or conservative, I guarantee they'll fight back.  But your typical conservative can't tell the difference between an actual, ongoing attack and the threat of attack in the future.  They're so paranoid, they just believe they're actually being attacked all the time, and lash out at anyone that looks, acts, or thinks different.  Because they can't adapt to different situations, they almost almost choose the wrong course of action.

2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint

You're and Iraqi citzen walking down a Fallujah street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an American Soldiert with and mM16 comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises his gun, and charges at
you. You are carrying an AK-47, and you are an expert shot.

3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution

A fine exemple of conservative thinking.  The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists.  It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts.  Nope.  We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.

Most people can see that OMW is joking in his post. It's obviously intended as humor. Aaron's is just a humorless meanspirited attack.

[CirclesCenter]

I say to all peoples of the Earth regardless of Creed and such:

[roguegeek]

I should just post up some Republican jokes and get this thing thrown in the tard farm.