Funny pictures.

[JeffD]

Heheh saw this one on another board.  Post all your funny pics if ya got em.

http://dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_attachment;postatt_id=10853;

[Rod]

Not a photo but still amusing:
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

Radio Conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS MISSOURI, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

[Michael]

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS MISSOURI, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Sorry, dude. The Missouri is a battleship, not an aircraft carrier.  I think I've seen that particular tale (very funny though it is) relegated to the realm of urban myth.

[john]

Wasn't the Missouru decommissioned after the Gulf War?  Pretty sure retired in 92/93.

That pic is funny :lol:   Did the Pope send you that Jeff

[scratch]

The Missouri is currently a tourist attraction in Pearl Harbor near the Arizona. Both beautiful.

[spaz]

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent don't miss the last one.
___________________________________
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
________________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
________________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_______________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to
you when he woke
up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
________________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
_________________________________________
Q: Now d doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
_________________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old
is he?
__________________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
__________________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
________________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
________________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
________________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
____________________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
___________________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
___________________________________________
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?
A: Oral.
___________________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy.
__________ ________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did
you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A. No
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practising law somewhere.

[spaz]

[spaz]

[spaz]

[JasonB]

whats up with the 2nd pic spaz?

[spaz]

Why Computers Sometimes Crash
-- by Dr. Seuss

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your
ROM,
and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell I love YOU!

[Blueknyt]

spaz......dude........




(ehhem mememememe)


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    


<while running through halls with rubber glove on head>

[Michael]

The Missouri is currently a tourist attraction in Pearl Harbor near the Arizona. Both beautiful.

Yes, but only one still floats.

[JasonB]

Ouch, that comment will get you on Bush's Unfavored Nation list and next thing you know you will see american troops invading your little island nation!

[scratch]

The Missouri is currently a tourist attraction in Pearl Harbor near the Arizona. Both beautiful.

Yes, but only one still floats.

Now, that's funny. C'mon...that was funny!

[JeffD]

Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match.

Then, the paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin colony and over fly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall over gently onto their backs."

--Audubon Society Magazine


hehe  

[Michael]

Ouch, that comment will get you on Bush's Unfavored Nation list and next thing you know you will see american troops invading your little island nation!

Last time the Carl Vinson and Abraham Lincoln were in our harbour (Hobart, Tasmania) our quiet little town had it's population expanded by 5000 sailors each time.  Without going into too much detail, I reckon invading troops would be better behaved than the US Navy on shore leave. :nana:

[JasonB]

Yeah Geneva Convention Rules dont apply to shore leave boyo! Keep your Women and children indoors! Send out the frontline hookers to head them off.

[JeffD]

Another Photo.

http://dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_attachment;postatt_id=11405;