Couple of Jokes

[Cal Price]

Nicked from "Bandit Forum"..........................

A blind man wanders into an all-female biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a stool and orders a pint.

After sitting there for a while, he yells, "Hey, anyone want to hear a blonde joke?"

The crowd immediately falls silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde woman holding a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a very burly blonde.
3. I myself am a 6-foot-tall, 175-lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting on the other side of me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."



A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he
notices a little girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders
hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The little girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the cart tied to a
dog and a cat.

The fire-fighter walks over to take a closer look: "That's a lovely fire
engine,' he says admiringly.

'Thanks,' says the little girl.

The fireman looks closer and notices the little girl has tied one of the
cart's strings to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.

'Little colleague,' says the fire-fighter, 'I don't want to tell you how
to run your fire engine, but if you were to tie that rope around the
cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.'

The little girl pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and
at the cat, then shyly looks into the fireman's eyes and says:

'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a f**king siren, would i?

[yamahonkawazuki]

 

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