Man...I sure do hate a lot of people lately...

[makenzie71]

Kalee comes home and says my bike is leaking on the idewalk.  Spiffy.  I go out and shut the petcock valve off (still not in that habit) and I see a carload of sunshiners getting out to harass the neighborhood.  shaZam!.  I quickly turn the valve and start walking in hoping that my "solicitors will be shot" sign on the front door will be enough to ward off the little dicks...no luck.

"Sir, can I have a minute of your time?"  I ignore the first one, but I just can't ignore the second...he's too close to pass it off.  I turn around and say "no, I'm busy."  The little douchebag has the nerve to tell me that it's because HE is black.  I ain't buying magazine subscriptions from anyone, I don't care what color you are or why you're doing it.  I tell him it's because he's selling shaZam! and I'm not buying anything, but he runs with "I think it's because I'm black."  I tell him he can think whatever he wants and walk back into the house...while he's threatening to beat my ass.  I've never had to call the cops on sunshiners until today...I absolutely can not believe they have this kind of gall.

[ben2go]

I agree.I had to put 2 off my property.The jackasses across the street told them I was young and single.They had them believing that with a little encouragement,they could get me to buy anything.Now the sunshiners in my area are 14-16 years old.TOO young for me.One was trying to get up close to me and huge on me.I had to tell her quick to stay back.The other one came straight out and ask me how much I'd buy if they screwed.I ask them what school they were from and told them I would call the school if they didn't leave.I'm just glad I walked out side and didn't let them into my house.Last thing I need is to loose my kids and go to jail for some girls trying to push subscriptions.

[bombadillo]

Wow, man you and your luck lately.  Thats crazy

[Jughead]

Should Have knocked the Hell out of the White Guy Standing next to Him and Said "Yeah and that's Cause He's White." Well if there was a White guy Standing next to Him.

Around Here the only Salesmen we're Bothered by is Meat Salesmen.We get rid of them by Pointing towards the Cows in the Field and tell them that When we run out We Throw one of them in the Freezer.When they Ask if we want to buy Chicken we tell them that Everytime one gets hit in the Road we throw it in with the Beef. Then we ask them if they would like to buy some Pork and Lamb.

[spc]

Next time answer the door cradling a shotgun and ask if they like ground beef. 

[annguyen1981]

Here's a tip:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/dal/330728336.html

[GeeP]

Next time answer the door cradling a shotgun and ask if they like ground beef. 

Reminds me...

A friend of mine told me a story about a salesman who came to his machine shop a few weeks ago.  The guy wanted to look at his financial records! 

So finally, the front office help calls him up from the back and the salesman works him over.  My friend asks him to leave, and he refuses.  He says he'll call the cops.  The salesman replies that if the cops arrive he'll pull an invoice for $1,000 for consulting services. 

My friend walked into his office, racks his shotgun and walks back up front.  Guy is STILL there.  So my friend says "You'll be the one calling the cops shortly, if you're still alive."

He left.  Quickly.   

[makenzie71]

I can't answer the door with a gun I don't intend to use...I also tend not to walk away from confrontations (I haven't been in a fight in quite some time and I miss it a little)...but then there goes that whole gun thing and how I would have ended up shooting him.

[scottpA_GS]

invite em in your house, then put a bullet in em, and claim they tried to kill you 

[spc]

I had a roommate with a little 'herbal' addiction once.  She had her dealer over quite a bit and though I don't care about someone smoking I do have a problem with a known dealer walking into my house.  I walked in one day and he was in my room, said he was looking for a lighter.  At this point you should know that the great state of GA allows for deadly force in defense of one's home and property.  I made it pretty clear  with the assistance of a visual aid that I never wanted to see him in my house much less my room again.  I never saw him after that day.  That roommate moved out very shortly afterwards.
The only American Citizen I've ever pointed a firearm at.  I try not to display firearms in any manner, he just went way the hell over the line.  In my defense, the man (used loosely) was a drug dealer, I had no way of knowing if he was armed or not or what the hell he was really doing.

[yamahonkawazuki]

well instead of the gun, walk to the door carrying ( in your hand) chains, whips, and fuzzy handcuffs, and a tube of ky. and ask him/them which one they wanna try first, or which one they like best/try first  

[spc]

Just a note: with my little mormon game the gun was never out of the holster and more times than not it was actually a training dummy.

[jserio]

if it's the first time a particular person/group has been to my home i'll try to be polite if i've got the spare few minutes to listen to em talk. especially if their kids. adults i tend to be a bit more curt with but all the same i try not to get down right mean unless i'm continually harrased.

[yamahonkawazuki]

ive no disrespect to mormons) but sometimes, the door to door stuff can be annoying. a friend of mine came to the door dressed all goth style, ( we had seen em coming up the road about a half mile out) , anyhoo he comes to the door dressed all goth like, and invites em in to worship well, satan, with him, they declined.( they came back next day enmasse)

[spc]

I'm not disrespecting them, I just get tired of em trying to spoon feed me the bible according to them.  That and I get a huge kick out of the look on their faces

[bucks1605]

Here's a tip:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/dal/330728336.html

That's great! 

[ohgood]

well instead of the gun, walk to the door carrying ( in your hand) chains, whips, and fuzzy handcuffs, and a tube of ky. and ask him/them which one they wanna try first, or which one they like best/try first  

lol!!!

[ohgood]

When politicians/peddlers used to knock on our door, I'd ignore it. Then they would usually look through our large plate glass window in front. There's a large room, piano, etc.

If I was doing whatever in the kitchen or at the computer, I could see them. I'd give them a 'Shoo  shoo !' movement, and some of them would interpret it as a "Hi, please, continue staring into my house or knock on the OTHER door some more!" gesture.

THen I would arm myself with the shotgun or axe handle in the front room's closet. That always got em down the street quick.

Axe handles for kids, shotguns for adults.

All our friends knew the side door was unlocked, and the dog was a push over. They never needed to knock, and knew that too.

I"m a real SOB about solicitors and politicians. Put trash in my yard, to better yourself ? No thank you mister professional liar !

[ajaxgs]

ok ....what the hell is a sunshiner???, i'm assuming it = religious freek that wants to convert you ?

[bettingpython]

when answering the door, what do you want? no the lady of the house will not be speaking to you what do you want we're busy? No? close the door.

At the same time this is occuring I have to capture our pibull "pup" shes almost 9 months now so she really is looking the part now, she likes to surge against the collar which is quite intimidating, all she's trying to do is find someone else to pet her, she might lick someone to death if they were made of sugar.

Sometimes its nice to have a dog with such a bad public perception. I know I'm horrible I shouldn't use such a sweet animal in that fashion.