In the beggining

[Cal Price]

Lifted from the "Bandit Forum"





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In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter- dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Here endeth the Lesson.
 

[simon79]

Bloody hell...I'm Italian but I can speak English.
Am I doomed or not?

BTW, nice post.

[spc]

Yup, half of your heart is going to blow up for no reason one day

[The Buddha]

Oh yea ... Injuns, speak english, eat fried, spicy, sweet (so sickly sweet it will give you hives) and still have fewer heart attacks than the US.
Why ... what is the difference ... in US food is bland, so bland you have to acheive satisfaction with quantity not with actual flavor. Believe it or not, I was 160lbs and considered fat in India, I step off the plane here in US and look around and dang there were people who looked like they could snort me ... now 15 years later ... I can snort the old me.
Mexican, Italian, japanese, chinese, and what not ... all of them have food that will actually set you straight and satisfy you without your stomach wanting to drag you face down into the carpet into a stupor ... sharp, crisp clean taste will make you crave quality, not just quantity and you will instantly get your head on straight. Of course that means it cant be sold for 99C and it has to taste like food, not like styrofoam with ketchup on it.
Anyway, there is a 1000 ways to eat yourself to death, and the US has chosen the worst possible option. I'd rather eat butter chicken with paratha followed by rasagollas (BTW injun restaurants in the US add 50% hot water to their syrup to prevent americans from choking on the too sweet ... its a confection, not a meal, clowns. you eat 1 not 40) ...
Anyway, all the ancient cultures have a well evolved idea of what the right foods are, so no sense comparing any of them to the US.
Mexican food BTW is straight meat in tortillas with lemon and green pepper in a sorta thin salsa (atleast that is what my mechanic said it was) and roasted cactus. Not fried, not ground beef, no cheese, no lettuce, and no hot sauce ... OK yes its hotsauce, but not the red BS that comes from a factory.
Cool.
Buddha.

[yamahonkawazuki]

  or ( dodging lightning strikes) In the beginning God created teh gs500 he saw it and it was good

[Cal Price]

Well I think the GS500 evolved but I was always with Chas Darwin.

[yamahonkawazuki]

okay then what did darwin evolve from. then again, hes gotten many stupid people away from this thing called life so he cant be all that bad