Dont no who to talk to...What Can i Do?

[beRto]

I am very sorry to hear this   Be strong, you'll get through this.

I wish you both the very best.

[lewismug]

Jay, I really don't know what to say.  I have a three year old daughter and a nine year old son.  Not exactly sure what I would do if either of them were taken from me like that.  I'm praying for you and your girlfriend man.  Right now, you both need all of the support you can get.  I can't even begin to imagine the pain you two are feeling.  Life will not be the same after this, I can tell you that.  A child is a precious thing, and once they look into your eyes and smile, you know it.  You feel it.  They trust you completely.  The Lord must have a great plan for him.  I've always said that I'll go when the Lord decides it's time for me, and not a second sooner.  Maybe it's best to try and have that attitude for this little boy.  Give your girl all of the support she needs, and don't forget about yourself.  I cried when I read your original post and still am right now.  The bond that grows between a father and child is strong, even if he was in your life for a very short time.  My son was three months old when my wife and I started dating.  I was the first man he called dad.  I rocked him to sleep.  I comforted him when he would cry.  I know how strong the bond is.  He is my stepson, but he feels more like my own son.  There is no difference in my love for him and my love for my daughter.  Hang in there.  We're all here for you if you need us.  You know that.

[Jay_wolf]

Thats just it ,His dad died a week before he was born , and i was the first person he knew as a father , even at 9 months old he knew,
i want to thank everyone for such warm and kind words , Its nice to be able to talk so deep , yet not to someones face

I came home after she didnt want to see me , and i rang her , she was sitting on a field , i could hear all these kids screaming in the background ,and she sounded empty ,
she didnt no what she felt ,and she quickly said her goodbyes

she sent me a txt : I love you, but i just cant deal with anything, i dont no whats going on and i want your help, but i cant have it. Im just confused.. Love you xxxxxxxxxxx

ive never heard her like this,  just miss him so much... just knowning ill never feel him sleeping on my chest again,

I think the worst part is that i had already planned his life in my head , like teaching him on a mini moto at 4.. music , everything , and i dont get to now ,

never thought it would happen like this

Thanks Again

[pandy]

Jay, I'm so very, very sorry for your terrible loss. It sounds like both of you have suffered terribly during this time. You *are* the baby's father, and it sounds as though you are a wonderful father.

If you have *any* suspicion that she might harm herself, please try to get her some help. I know there's only so much you can do, but try if there's any thought in your mind that she might harm herself.

And, you. You take care of yourself, too, sweetheart. I can't even imagine losing my son; tears come to my eyes just thinking about it. You've suffered a devastating loss, and you need to grieve and take care of YOU, too. I send good thoughts your way, and I wish you and your loved ones healing and peace. <3

[mach1]

Dude that suck bad, My son is still in his mothers belly and dotn know how you feel but I can imagine if the same thing would happen it will hurt soooooo bad I have the same things planned for my son as you did and if I never get that chance i would just be done your around the same age as me and your strong enough to get through this and help her as well. prayers go out brotha

[Jay_wolf]

21 Years Old.. Shes 20   My Birthday On the 8th Of June .. He Died On The 9/6/08  , Its Her Birthday On 22/6/08 .. His Organs Failed On My Birthday , He was kept alive on machine until the 9th

Died Between our birthdays , every year , i no the day after my birthday my son died ,

We spoke this evening , she said that shes scared about seing me , because she thinks something will happen to me , i told her it wont happen , but she lost her ex boyfriend 9 months ago , and now her son ,

weve spoke about funeral arrangements , im going to help , she wants me to get the death Certificate Done , which i agreed , and shes letting me go see his body before its buryed , she saw him this morning , said he looks like hes sleeping , but hes never going to wake up ,  hes lying in a blue room , wrapped up in blankets , in a baby suit ,
Im not sure i can see that with out wanting him to wake up , but i need to say goodbye to my son ,

Also spoke about tattoos to remember him i was going to get his hand prints on my body for his 1st birthday , the Hospital took prints of his hands and feet , for me to get copyed and tattooed on my body , Part of me died when he died ,and i want it back , and i think it will help,

Thanks for listening , its helping alot , if someone mentions it to me , i just start crying , but u cant see my Tears this way

Thanks so Much everyone , ur all amazing

Jay xxx

[commuterdude]

As a father of two there could be no worse calamity.  I am sorry for you and your lady.  It's perfectly fine to address it here to sort of anonymous folks.   Hard to deal with and you must process some.  There will always be a hurt place there but with time things will get better for both of you.   At 21 you may feel as if life has been shitty but you are in the race and you must continue to run well and finish proudly.   You did all you could for the boy and you must continue to set the example and lead for others, his mother must have space and support, and this will require a great deal of patience, but you are thinking  soundly and I am certain you are up to the task.   It would not be out of line for you to line up a counselor for you and  your lady, just offer to take her as a friend or point her in that direction, it can help things heal better and faster.  Best wishes.   Years ago it was not uncommon at all to lose a child or children to disease, now things are so much better medically that it is a shock when it occurs.  Best wishes, praying for you both.

[ohgood]

The tattoo idea is awesome.

What was his name ?

I'm so sorry for both of you.

[bucks1605]

21 Years Old.. Shes 20   My Birthday On the 8th Of June .. He Died On The 9/6/08  , Its Her Birthday On 22/6/08 .. His Organs Failed On My Birthday , He was kept alive on machine until the 9th

Died Between our birthdays , every year , i no the day after my birthday my son died ,

I was in the exact same situation. Our grandmother got sick around mothers day. Died a few days before her sons (my stepdads) birthday, viewing was on his birthday, and the funeral was on my sisters birthday. It's gonna be tough to think about for awhile, grieving is normal and good for you. Eventually you'll come to peace.

[Jay_wolf]

His Name was Rory , yea i liked the idea of the tattoo,  like i said i was going to get his hands tattoed on me , but she sed his feet were printed also  , and i really like the idea

[mach1]

tatoo his hands on your chest and the feet on your stomach area that way you'll always be holding him

[bucks1605]

His hands on your chest would be really cool, like on your pec.

[Jay_wolf]

Thats Spot on , hands on my Pec my right one , as the left ones already covered . .not sure about where id get the feet tho

I thought id take a pic of my torso.. and yes., my Pajamas Slipped a lil down ,but u no , It was just to show the area to be tattooed

I was thinking right side collarbone and pec...

[bucks1605]

Yeah man, the hands would definitely look good. I'd have to think about the feet for a bit, not sure on which location would be best. I like the ink you already have, it looks somewhat fresh?

[Jay_wolf]

I cant think where the feet would go , the hands would look perfect on my chest , i may have to just get the hands on my front and the feet on my shoulder blade or something , its all a mermoral to him , so he'll never leave me ,

19 hours my ink took , and its under 3 months old

[mach1]

dude you said he slept of your chest meaning his hads were around your chest area and his feet around your wait area if you put them their he can forever sleep on your chest

[Jay_wolf]

Thats really nice Mach... Loving That Idea.. aw just makes me think bout him.. in a good way

[mach1]

what ever I can do to help my lil one will be here soon so just think of what your going through gets me hard. Im like your lady kinda cold and emotionless but infants have a spot in my heart that gets me. so do certain country songs and other things

[Jay_wolf]

Shes not even a Cold Or emoutionless Person , She Is Just Crushed by this, I dont remember the last im cryed , until i rang her and she sed, Hes gone... Since then i havent stopped

[yamahonkawazuki]

brother, that i know. im a single man, but kids to me are a gift from god.be there for her. shes going to be hurting for a VERY long while. again my prayers go out to you hnd her