Dont no who to talk to...What Can i Do?

[yooblonder]

Jay,
Sorry to hear what you're going through.

These words might help you find some hope at this time and in the future:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms%209:18;31:24;33:18,22;38:15;39:7;43:5

I'm praying for you too, and I'd be happy to pray with you.  Let me know...

[yamahonkawazuki]

same here m8 lemme know what i can do for you and your lady. btw i know it sounds a bit odd, but do you have a pic of the lil angel? ( my prayers are still going out. like i said, lemme know what i can do, for you and yours. we are after all a family here

[Jay_wolf]

Pm me , email address's and ill send a pic of him that way , im not sure she would want me putting his face on a forum ,

Thanks guys

[pandy]

Jay,

Crying is cathartic. It helps us release some of the stress (of grief, anger, whatever). Allow yourself to cry. It's perfectly manly to cry when you've lost your baby (or any other time).

I'm glad your baby's mom is having you share in making the arrangements. I think it will help you both.

Sending a bazillion good thoughts your way..... <3

[Jay_wolf]

Im so more worried about her, then i am about me , ive never seen like this , i no my best way i can help is to be out of the way until she needs me,

[pandy]

Im so more worried about her, then i am about me , ive never seen like this , i no my best way i can help is to be out of the way until she needs me,

Just by being there for her, you're doing a lot, Jay. Just be there when she needs you. Hopefully she'll get past some of the shock and you'll be able to grieve some together. <3

[scottpA_GS]

Did you say that you have only been with her a month?

[Jay_wolf]

2 and a half months ,  so ive been with rory for almost a 3rd of his life , i dont think the time matters , i knew she was my soul mate with in 2 days

[scottpA_GS]

Yea, I understand  You are still young though. Dont get to worked up. When I was your age I had 20 GF's a year 

Ok.. maybee 19  But anyway... one thing I learned is dont make things to serious. Be kind, be helpful but look out for #1 ALWAYS! Girls are strange creatures 

Stay strong there bud!  If you need anything PM me Im happy to help 

[Jay_wolf]

Well thats what i used to be like , shes slept with one person ... and that wasnt me , im waiting for the perfect time , i have slept with 20 girls so far , i used to be a bit of a my mama , and she made me a one girl man ,

we spoke 2day , and sorted alot out , She seems better

[ben2go]

Happy to hear things are coming around.

Hopefully you 2 will be together soon and can have a talk over a pint.

[Jay_wolf]

Well i dont want anyone else , shes perfect , When she was 19 she had a Ducati Monster... That is a cool Girl , Shes got a Evo etc, we just get on so well , its so refreshing to be with someone who loves engines and a bikes ,

We spoke today, she sed she almost came and saw me , because she needed me , she doesnt think its fair for her to grieve to me , i told her im here forever , ill be her rock and her everything , so i think she will come and see me in the next couple of days ,

Next week , we have to get the Funeral sorted out , Death Certificate , and The Post mortem , Going to be the first time ive seen him in a while , im not looking forward to it , its going to hurt ,and im going to want to hold him and not let go , i dont want to , but i no i have to

Shes asked me to carry the coffin at the funeral , i said i would be honered , and it made me cry knowning the responsabilty of it all

I just want to say goodbye to my little man, Ive had my Freak out about it , and i think im back on the rails ,

[trumpetguy]

I just got back from vacation and read the horrible news. I am very sorry and you and his mom are in my thoughts.  Twenty five years ago my wife and I lost a premature baby.  He lived for a couple of hours, but his lungs were just not developed enough to survive.  Now babies of that age survive rather routinely, but that was not the state of technology then.  That was really hard to get over -- I can only imagine what she must be going through right now.

Here is a group that helps grieving families who have lost children:
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/  It is a support group of parents who have been through it themselves.  Please check out their chapter locator on the website and go to a meeting or two with your friend.  No one understands like someone who has been there.

Hang in there.  Time helps.  There is a grieving process you have to go through.  If not now, then later.  Better now...

[zenn]

 

[ajaxgs]

my prayers and thoughts are out to you and your girl friend jay

[yamahonkawazuki]

.  No one understands like someone who has been there.

Hang in there.  Time helps.  There is a grieving process you have to go through.  If not now, then later.  Better now...

yup tg, that i know 

[Jay_wolf]

Shes Been Ignoring me for the last day , she txt me once , saying yes shes fine , it was so cold , and shes not answering her phone ,im hurting to , and yet shes being out of order , i dont no what to do

[pandy]

I think it's just going to be a very difficult time for both of you, Jay. Emotions run high and low and then high again. Grief affects everything, our  hormones, our moods, everything. Try to be patient with her (it sounds as though you're practically a saint already), and try to keep reaching out. It doesn't sound as though she can be much of a support system for you right now (which is why you reached out to us, too, bless your heart, and I hope we can help a little).

Develop your own support system, as you seem to have been doing. Hopefully, as the shock of the grief lessens a little bit, she'll accept your comfort a little more and you'll be able to hopefully get more support from her.

I try to remember about people that they can only use the tools they're given in life. Some of us have a lot of tools, and some of us don't have as many. It's easier to forgive someone if we remember that they're using what tools they've been given (even if it doesn't feel like enough).

I'm thinking about you constantly and sending good thoughts and wishes to you and yours for some  peace and serenity.

I am truly sorry you're going through this terrible, terrible ordeal. I just can't even imagine the pain of the loss, and you're handling it with true grace and with an amazingly good heart. I don't mean to sound sappy, but I do believe that things happen for a reason, and while it's so very hard to see right now,  you're in the place you're in right now for a reason..whether it's for your own growth, for helping her in her growth, or for helping a little angel get his guardian angel wings... Whatever it is, I admire the courage, maturity, and goodness of heart you're showing.

Love,
pandy <3

[Jay_wolf]

Its not like im asking for anything , i just want to no shes ok and talk to her , and reassure her , 2days ago , she was saying she needs me , im her Destany and her rock , and i told her ill be here forever and i will be regardless, i think some men may do a runner to not have to go through this , but i want to be with her forever and through this,

This thing is killing me inside , i cant sleep properly , im not eating , yet , she isnt being there for me , and i no shes taking it so much worse than me, but why is she pushing me away , ive been nothing but kind and understanding , just hurts when someone treats u like this in these times,

[ajaxgs]

jay

don't worry !!! her emotions will be all over the place just like yours are right now !!!!! just be there for her when she does call you, you are her corner stone and knows that you will be there .. you ar thinking the worst right now but don't worry it will all come back into play soon enough.  i hope you have a good shoulder to lean on right now as well......be safe and again sorry for the loss