Sleepless nights, mid-life & Alice Cooper

[Caffeine]

I've been through some changes in the past few months.   I was fired for a very flimsy reason from a job I've had for 22 years (I'm 42).  More like me & the company were sick of each other, and I was becoming more vocal about the poor decisions being made by upper management, so I was targeted as a "threat" and was fired for the first policy violation they could come up with.  No tears shed, and it was a big relief when they terminated my employment.  Much like getting out of a very bad relationship!

I took a couple months off and started working for a different company in the same line of work, but at a slightly lower position (no worry, as quick promotions are on the horizon).  I got to take a look at myself and my life (is this my midlife crisis?) and the turns I've taken on the road that got me to where I am.  Regrets?  I've had a few, but I think I've made fewer "bad" decisions than most people do.  But I still can't bring myself to refer to myself as "successful" in life, whatever that means.  Still, my life is pretty darn good, I'm not over my head in debt, and I have a lot of good friends.  Motorcycling and the friends I have made through it have been among the best highlights.

Which brings me to this week.  I started getting sick on Sunday, and have had a couple of sleepless nights, up with coughing (going to doctor in about an hour), and last night I happened to see Alice Cooper on Craig Ferguson.  Funny thing is that he often shows up in my area (South Florida) to play golf, and one of the local talk stations (WZZR) usually manages to get him on the phone for a few minutes.  He strikes me as a very amiable, happy, and up-front no-bullshit kind of guy.  I suspect he's made it through a few minefields in his life, and has finally managed to become a happy, well-rounded, sober guy.  Who still manages to get up on stage and kick some ass.   The guy seriously is still good.

Life is very interesting:  Some people get dealt a winning hand from the start, and others just seem to get all the crap cards.  Some people have fantastic wealth but no happiness, and others eat bug larvae from tree roots in the desert, but are happy as can be.  It's really not about having things (Less really is more!), but about making peace with oneself and surrounding yourself with good friends and family.  Get the toxic people out of your life!  And you know who they are!  Enjoy the small pleasures in life, whatver your pleasures happen to be.  For me, a day spent on the bike followed by a simple dinner with my most trusted friends and family is about the best there is.  Or drinking a cup of coffee in the back yard, watching the cardinals forage for food.  Cheesy?  Maybe.  But it makes me happy.

Life can also be very cruel and stupid, and the TV news never seems to run out of horrible stories and horrible people talking about them.  (I wonder just how much money Nancy Grace is raking in by talking about a dead 7-year-old girl night after night.  Or how many more golf courses OJ Simpson needs to search for the "real killers".  And I won't even go into the things that bother me about the Presidential candidates.)  But I've learned that there are things that are just meant to be out of my control, so I can't let them bother me too much.

I've still got things I want to change in my life, and I'm working on them.  But I'm pretty darn happy with where things stand right now.  Not perfection, but moving in the right direction.  I think I'm becoming my grandfather, and, if you knew the guy, you'd know that's a very good thing!

So...any of my fellow middle-aged bikers and biker-ettes out there?  Anyone gone through or going through their midlife crisis?  Any stories of regrets or successes?  Anything you would have done differently, given the chance?  Any bits of wisdom you care to share?

[TonyKZ1]

Well, regrets - sure a few. Wish I had gotten a better education - College decrees instead of a tech school & 10 years of military. However I'm mostly happy now (45 years old), got a wonderful wife, 3 kids (the oldest of which is not doing her best in College, but that's a whole another story). The other two are doing wonderful in school though.

We live on a small farm out in the country, with different kinds of animals (rabbits, muscovy ducks, guineas, chickens, nubian dairy goats).

I work in a college environment in I.T., working on their computers, it's kind of a low stress job compared to my last few jobs. I ride my motorcycle (1989 Kawasaki Ninja 250) 30 miles to work everyday through the twisty, curvy, hilly rural highways, and smile on my way home.

Oh and as for Alice Cooper, yep got most of his music. When I was stationed in Florida the local d.j.s would call him and talk for a while. So I crank it up occasionally, my wife just smiles at me and wonders who is that?
Tony

[frankieG]

mistakes...omg don't get me going.   you and i are about the same age I'm 45 and spent 20years 6 months and 22 days in the military.  like you i got tired of it and i quit too.  i am a grandfather and it is wonderful.  i have done some great and amazing things in my life.  i have written or amended laws  that have affected tens of thousands of people, for the betterment of their lives .  i have made decisions, gave orders and been given orders that have killed...well many people.  so my footprint is firmly planted on this earth.  however i too second guess myself.  i could go into detail but i would rather not.  life is short, we all know that.  to be honest i am surprised i have lived to 45.  from early on i expected to not make it out of my 30's and believe me there were plenty of close calls, i have the scars.  i see the scars everyday and there was a time that i used think about it all the time.  but not so often now, but they are there and they won't go away.  sometimes people ask me about them.  sometimes people i don't know recognize me which happened earlier this week.  a complete stranger says "hi frank"  do you know me? i reply   "frank gallagher, minister of public safety"  i just smiled and walked away.  it is weird being a household name and i know that people recognize me where ever i go.  you would think i would be used to it by now.  it is just weird that is all.  my family get quite the kick out of it but hate being called frank gallagher's "brother" "uncle"  or what have you instead of by their own name.  but i am rambling.  this is the best board on the Internet with the best people in the world as members.  we share like no other community i have seen outside of nuclear family.  god i love gstwins

a frankie GROUP HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG