Tools of the trade

[shiznizbiz]

If you were/are a redneck, or if youre just super proficient with simple tools (you know who you are); Its time we have  little fun.  What would be the items you would include in the super dooper redneck tool box.
#1 the obvious, duct tape....for when things that are moving, shouldnt move.
bring em on guys, you kow you have them,

[Kasumi]

#2 Cable ties, i work on a farm and you can fix ANYTHING with a cable tie, or more than one cable tie attached to another.

#3 WD40, or similar type spray lubricant, cant lubricate anything in the field for a short period of time or unstick stuck things with it.

[PuddleJumper]

A role of Bailing wire.

Kinda like and old fashioned heat proof zip tie.

BeSafe
PJ

[cafeboy]

butter knife
   

[sledge]

Hacksaw with a blunt blade.
A selection of heavily mushroomed cold-chisels.
Some files (minus handles).
A screwdriver ground down to a point.
A 2lb hammer with a loose head and splintered shaft.
A pair of worn out Mole-grips that wont grip.
One of those double ended rubber sucker stick things for grinding valves that never works.
Several 12mm sockets that have been forced onto 1/2" nuts.
Several 1/2" sockets that have been forced onto 13mm nuts.

[cafeboy]

Jack handle for a pry bar

[cafeboy]

Pipe wrench

[GeeP]

Gas axe
Leaking Propane plumber's torch
Hacksaw w/ the blade on backwards
Mushroomed "Thor" brand copper hammer
2' long bridge pin, bent
Sledgehammer with a weathered and splintered handle
Adjustable wrench with a loose moveable jaw
6' "wrench extender" pipe

[cafeboy]

Some big freaking nails to be used as a punch and or a rail road spike.

[cafeboy]

Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with. 

[sledge]

Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with. 

Whats wrong with your teeth?

[pkhoff]

Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with. 

Whats wrong with your teeth?

Many of us rednecks lack teeth.

[cafeboy]

Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with. 

Whats wrong with your teeth?

Many of us rednecks lack teeth.

LMBO 

[spc]

Det Cord, because once you've mangled it beyond recognition trying to fix it you have to get rid of the evidence that you are a completely retarded inbred hack.

[Kasumi]

No ones mentioned what were keeping the tools in.

We could go for the classic...

An old oil soaked towel/sheet, grimey with holes in it which you put the tools in then wrap up and tie with a piece of ripped sheet.

Or we could go for the redneck toolchest 1000...

A half of a 10 gal oil drum rusted all over so when you've finished working you can burn shaZam!. ROCK ON! 

[cafeboy]

Plastic 5 gal bucket or cardboard box.

[sledge]

I just leave them hanging around on the drive/garden/garage-floor.........nice and handy for throwing at stray dogs taking a dump, trick or treaters and the jehovas witnesses.

[ohgood]

propane torch
hammer
vice grips
bailing wire
duct tape
multi-screwstick
loctite
anti-seize

^ if those things can't fix it, it can't be fixed

[spc]

Sledge: I find the best way to deal with JW's is to answer the door in your boxers with a shotgun over your shoulder and a  beer in one hand regardless of what time in the morning it is.

[sledge]

As you know Tel owning anything other than a spudgun in our fair isle is a big issue and as a result we have to resort to other methods........I find that engaging them in positive conversation, then slowly droping you trousers/pants and starting to mast****e furiously without loosing eye contact is also a very effective method of ensuring a hasty departure on their behalf.