Racist jokes...

[makenzie71]

lets face it...are simply some of the funniest out there...so lets hear some.

I work with a bunch of hispanics...they have the best mexican/latino/etc jokes...but I want to hear white people jokes.  I never hear white people jokes...surely there are some.  The only one I've ever hear is:

What's do bricks and white women have in common?  Eventually they all get laid by a mexican. (it's even funnier from a thick spannish accent haha)

[yamahonkawazuki]

This white trucker, called his mexican friend. " Hey jose hows it goin?, Señor, its goin good man, well hows pablo?, Well Señor pablo eees gone, he got killed. He got killed?, HOW?, well Señor, pablo got killed by a weasel. A WEASEL?!? hows that, well Señor, he was makin love to his firlfriend on the railroad tracks, and he did not hear teh weasel 

[bikejunkie223]

Why do Mormons never die in earthquakes? Because they are always standing in your doorway...

[makenzie71]

haha awesome...both...

[jserio]

 

[yamahonkawazuki]

A man goes into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his neck, of course the doctor asks what happened to him.

"Well, it pretty much goes like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my dear wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows."

..."and we went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball....stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
 



"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Holy cow, Edna, this looks like yours!'"

[yamahonkawazuki]

A drunk white guy walked into a bar, sat down at the counter. Placing a small cardboard box on the bar, and ordered one beer. When the beer came, he opened the box, pulled out a tiny piano and bench and placed them on the bar, then ordered one more beer.
He set this mouse on top of the piano and said "SING".

The frog began to play the piano and the mouse began to sing, first some 'oldies but goodies', then all of the current favorites.

A man at the bar who was watching all of this approached the man and offered to buy this little outfit that the man had.

After a bit of negotiating, the drunk white man agreed to sell it to the man for 500 dollars. The man gathered everything into the little cardboard box and ran out the door before the drunk could change his mind.

The bartender who had been watching all these events, said to the drunk "You damned old fool! You just sold that little outfit you had for $500 and you could have made millions off of it!"

The drunk laughed heartily and replied "I am not the fool, the guy who bought it is. Do you really think I would have sold that if that mouse could really sing?"

The bartender responded "What do you mean, I stood right here and listened to that mouse sing!" "The joke is on you and the guy who bought that outfit my friend ", chuckled the drunk. "That mouse can't sing. The frog is a ventriloquist!"

[The Buddha]

This is of course about dogs ... but read it carefully ... and you'll know ... its not.

Three male dogs encounter a beautiful female poodle and immediately fall in love. Well aware of her own charms and her effect on males, she announces, "I want a mate with brains, therefore I will only date the dog who creates an imaginative, intelligent sentence using the words, 'cheese' and 'liver.'"

The black Labrador retriever quickly responds, "I love cheese and liver."

"How childish," huffs the poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the cocker spaniel who responds tentatively, "Uh, I hate cheese and liver?"

The poodle shows her disgust. "That's no better than the other sentence! What about you, Mr. Chihuahua?"

The tiny dog grins, turns to the other two males and says, "Liver alone! Cheese mine!"


Here is another one ... Its sexist  ...

Is somehting considered sexist and offensive when the butt of the joke (no pun intended) does not get it ...

Like ... they were yelling "drill baby drill" right ... but she had no clue ...
So is that considered sexually offensive ... I mean its considered sexist only when someone takes offence or all the time ?
Cool.
Buddha.

[bettingpython]

An arab, mexican and black man are all in the same car. Who is driving?

Answer:




The Cop

[cafeboy]

 

[makenzie71]

I LOVE that one python...one of my favorites.

Why do mexicans eat tamales on christmas?  So they'll have something to unwrap...

(there's gotta be some white people jokes, though...other than the typical blond/aggie stuff...the kind of stuff that's supposed to offend us lol)

[hotrodstu77]

4 black guys are in a caddillac and it drives off a cliff, whats wrong with this picture? ..........a caddy seats 5

how long does it take a black lady to take a shaZam!?..................9 months

wanna hear a joke? .......................womens rights

[makenzie71]

What do you call a little mexican?  A paragraph since he's not quite an essay.

[TheGoodGuy]

this is from an african american standup comedian friend.

"What did the black man put on his SAT test"....

"Barbecue Sauce".

though one could go with "KoolAid" too..

[LOUiE]

Where do you hide a [insert minority here]'s welfare check?  Under his work boots.

Whats the difference between a [insert minority] and a medium pizza?  A medium pizza can feed a family of 4.

[yamahonkawazuki]

a white man, a Homeboyus Africanus, a jew, a nun, and a whore walk into a bar, the bartender looks up at them and says, " WTF is this some kind of a joke?

[Jughead]

I got some but I think I'd Probably be banned from Here if I posted them.

[socialDK]

what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?..................................nothing you already told her twice.

How do you circumcise a redneck?.................................................kick his sister in the jaw.

man goes to a doctor and said "doctor i havent been able to have sex in months can you help me out?"  doctor said sure gives him some pills tells him to come back in a week. A week goes by and the guy comes back said "doctor those pills work great can i have some more?"  doctor said sure. gives him some more tells him to come back in a month. month goes by and the guy never comes back so the doctor goes too his house and knocks on his door and a little boy answers. doctor said "hi little boy is your daddy home?"  little boy said "yeah. are you the doctor that gave him the horny pills?" doctor said "yes i am why?" boy said " well my moms dead, my sisters pregnant, my a$$holes sore and now hes going around the house saying here kitty kitty"

[yamahonkawazuki]

 

[yamahonkawazuki]

Suzuki was the son of a Japanese businessman who lived in Marietta, Georgia. Today he would be entering the fourth grade and therefore he was excited and eager to learn.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She examined the faces of her students as they stared back at her with blank faces. All except Suzuki who had his hand up in the air and said, "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." Just then he heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."

"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982." At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little punk. If you say anything else, I'll kill you." Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher faints. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh crap, we're screwed."

Suzuki said, "The Taliban! 2001″