Racist jokes...

[jserio]

 

[yamahonkawazuki]

What do you call a little mexican?  A paragraph since he's not quite an essay.

hers almost another one


"Japanese girl was making love and accidentally passed wind. she quickly explained, "Oh me so sorry, you make front hole so happy, back hole blow you kiss"

[gs500e]

Construction site of empire state building, 1958, metal framing -- iron workers, 5:00 am, friday; three guys grab their lunch and kiss their wives, head to work.  
Five hours later....
Lunch whistle just blew.  
The three men sit on the beam they just set in place, and prepare for lunch.
Guy1: "If i have a hot dog for lunch again, i'm gonna be peeeeed dude."
Guy2: "Crikey!  If i have a burger for lunch again, i will not be happy."
Guy3: "If i have a ham sandwich for lunch again, i will jump off this building."

Guy 1: opens his lunchbox and sees a hot dog... sticks an iron spike through his heart and dies instantly.
Guy 2: opens his lunchbox and sees a burger... hits himself in the temple with his hammer and dies instantly.
Guy 3: opens his lunchbox and sees a sandwich... jumps off the beam and plummets 400' to his death.

Five days later at the funeral:
Wife1:  If i knew he didn't want a hot dog, i would have put a taco in his lunch.
Wife2:  If i knew he didin't want a burger, i would have put chicken in his lunch.
Wife3:  That damn Cra@ker husband i married, momma told me not to marry a Wh!tie... he always packed his own lunch.
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Honk!es marinate chicken in chicken marinade.

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A cra@ker lost his motorcycle keys................


..................... nevermind.................

.......................................they were in his fanny pack the whole time.

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A white guy called in sick today, to run errands.

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A white guy thought these jokes weren't funny.



A white guy noticed the empire state building was not built in 1958'

[yamahonkawazuki]

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth... Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"

St. Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer." So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"

God simply replied, "You are what you are."

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God straighten out your query for you?" The zebra looked puzzled.

"No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'" St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes."

The zebra asked St. Peter, "How do you know that for certain?" "Because," said St. Peter, "If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, "You is what you is."




The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client, out of the blue, asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her... don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.

So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara." The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem!! I have. I have."

Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France." The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."

Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch pee pee." The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."

[bill14224]

I can't add to this now.  All I can say is there is hope for the world, because we can still laugh at ourselves. 

[yamahonkawazuki]

I can't add to this now.  All I can say is there is hope for the world, because we can still laugh at ourselves.  

YES indeed   . most people im assuming all here. can tell a joke, and not have a racist feeling in their bodies. i dislikeracism altogether. in my naive belief. we are but one race. human


p.s. on a side note. i had chuckled at a japanese racial joke. and hte OP apologised to me i guess because by my username on youtube. ( same as this one) he thought i was asian. i said i appreciate the apology. but im not asian.

[steezin_and_wheezin]

what do you call a black guy flying a plane?
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..a pilot you racist!!

[MistahT]

What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family!

[Twisted]

*Not racist but I thought it was funny*


A man walks into a bar and sees the bartender with a tiny little guy about a 12 inches high playing piano in the corner.  
He walks up to the bartender and says, 'Wow! That's amazing how did you get him?'

The bartender pulls out an old beer bottle and tells him to rub it.
 
So hesitantly he rubs the bottle and with a puff of smoke, a slightly intoxicated genie pops out and says " Hic! One wish and one wish only! What'll it be? Hic!"

So the man thinks and says, 'I wish I had a million bucks!'

The genie says, "OK, go outside and ya wish'll be granted." And he disappears back into the old bottle of beer.

So the man goes outside and all he finds a million ducks filling the sky and roads.  

Upset he goes back in and tells the bartender what happened and the bartender replies, 'I know, do you really think I wanted a 12 inch pianist?'

[yamahonkawazuki]

Q. Why did Obama wait so long to release his birth certificate?
A. He didn't have a registered copy of PhotoShop.

Q: what bruce springsteen song always makes obama grin?
A: born in the usa

have you heard obama claimes ireland as his ancestral home?, kenya believe that? 

[yamahonkawazuki]

why wont obama laugh at himself?,
because that would be racist

[bill14224]

What I think is fit for humor is somewhat larger than what most people think is appropriate for humor these days.  Things have changed so much I don't think I recognize my country anymore, and I'm not 50 yet.

[yamahonkawazuki]

What I think is fit for humor is somewhat larger than what most people think is appropriate for humor these days.  Things have changed so much I don't think I recognize my country anymore, and I'm not 50 yet.

agreed. same here. and im only 36 lol

[The Buddha]

Neither do I and I've only lived here 20 years.
Cool.
Buddha.

[yamahonkawazuki]

Neither do I and I've only lived here 20 years.
Cool.
Buddha.

well youre weird. having washed face in paint thinnner. youve got a valid reason . lol i jest my friend.  i enjoy the off the wall rants lol