Why does my dog keep pissing on my bed?

[Homer]

It started when I was drinking Peach Margaritas on my patio. 
I had previously made my bed, because I wouldn't bother once I was drunk. 

Right near the pillows - salmon and sweet potato scented dog urine. 

Then, once more, this afternoon.  On new pillows and fresh sheets. 
The mattress had been soaked for hours in bleach, then wet-vac'd, then treated with enzymatic cleaner.  And, wet-vac'd again. 

Then, again, this evening.  As I'm making the bed, with the new sheets and everything on the floor - I look over, and there she is. 
Pissing on my last blanket. 

Meanwhile, I think a spider bit my ankle yesterday. 
F**k my life. 

[Toledo Jim]

Veterinarian, check kidneys & bladder.

(Dog is trying to tell ya it is sick.)

[Homer]

Guy with a pillow that smells like piss, check that head and rectum haven't swapped locations.

It's not a bladder infection, Beast Master.  It's $33/ 10 lb bag dog food.  3 ingredients - salmon, sweet potato, and flaxseed oil, with probiotics and vitamin supplements. 
Her junk works fine.  She pissed 6 times already today. 

And, if she's smart enough to diagnose herself and then communicate it to me - why can't she figure out how a leash works? 
One single solitary vertical pole in my yard, and she wraps her 6 foot leash around it tight enough to choke herself. 
Every time, in about 15 minutes. 

If she's smart enough to piss me off to get my attention, why did I just catch her eating my onion dip out of the jar? 

[tt_four]

I'm confused as to whether or not this is a real question or not.

Does this happen often? Or has it never happened, and all of a sudden she's done it 3 times in a day?

If it happens other times, and you let her sleep in your bed.... it's because you let her sleep in your bed and she's pissed about something. You've lost your top dog status and you should take her to some dog training classes so you learn more about her behaviors, and get her a dog bed.

If it doesn't happen, I would definitely take her to the vet. My one dog has the bladder of a god, but the first sign that she's feeling sick is that she'll usually pee in the hallway or by the back door. Not to spite me, she just can't can't hold it.

Food doesn't really make much of a difference. I know that vets will swear that stuff is only caused by not eating the right food, but my cats have gotten urinary tract infections 3 times, and they eat nothing but special urinary tract health cat food, and EVERY single time they've gotten sick was right after something super stressful happened. The first time was when my wife moved out of her parents house and didn't move the cat yet. The second time was when we were cat-sitting, and the 3rd was when our friend brought her cat over just to feel things out because she was thinking about moving in with us for a little while, but I told her we had to see how the cats worked out. It gets quicker each time, and you could tell something was wrong within 15 minutes that last time, so they were all clearly stress induced, the vet would deny it, and if you caught your dog eating onion dip, there's a perfectly good chance she was eating something else when you weren't looking and got herself sick(onions will make a dog very sick too, fyi).

In summary.... If you let her sleep on your bed, stop doing that. If you don't let her on your bed and this is an isolated incident, take her to the vet. and why is your dog tied to a pole in your yard with a 6 foot leash??

[Caffeine]

Have you recently brought a "guest" home?   Or started seeing someone who stays over in the bed with you?   The dog may object to your new friend's presence and is marking what is "his".

[dohabee]

catch him in the act and then punish him. Also, a clothespin properly applied could solve your problems.

[Homer]

Yes, it's a real question! 

Sadly, I can't clothespin.  It's a female.  But, I thought about it. 
More sadly, the lesbian couple that were over on Saturday didn't sleep over.  They were just over for a few hours with their new puppy. My dog was jealous she couldn't play with the puppy, cause her prey drive is too high. 
If that's what it is, what do I do about it?  Take her to group therapy? 

I don't keep food laying around.  The onion dip was a one time thing.  And, frankly, I don't blame her.  Onion dip is very tasty. 

I don't tie her to the pole.  I tie her to a patio chair, and she wraps around the pole. 
And that's only when I want to masturbate.  Which is how I learned that she likes vegetable oil, so - patio chair. 
When I come back, she's choking herself like David Carradine. 

[tt_four]

I don't know why dogs wrap themselves around poles. It's like some kinda of natural instinct to run around it circles. To be fair, they don't really have anywhere else to go. I'd probably do the same thing.

My guess is it has something to do with the puppy. Maybe it marked somewhere when you weren't looking, and your dog is trying to claim some things she finds important.

[Homer]

That's the first thing that came to my mind.  But, she doesn't mark stuff. 
Maybe she's just starting to? 
When is puberty for dogs?  She's about 10 months old. 

German shepherd/terrier mix. 
Like this:

[Porkchop]

Don't know why but a dog trainer might help.

When all else fails...
http://www.recipesource.com/ethnic/asia/filipino/00/rec0001.html

- Porkchop

[tt_four]

ooh, so you're about to have a teenager dog. That's when they behave perfectly.... 

She's fixed right?

[Kaizer]

Dang...we are having this same problem with our cats. They seemed to have started marking in the new apartment...but it has been almost 2 years! Anyhow, don't keep the dog in your bedroom unattended. PERIOD! Distract and punish her whenever you see her trying to pee on any of your stuff. Reward and be happy when she goes outside. Always encourage her to go outside. Get her spayed if she isn't already. Animals that generally piss on your bed and personal items have a vendetta against you. That was what we were taught. Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

[tt_four]

Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

I'd be careful what you offer, eventually he's gonna need someone to start cleaning up the pee, and guess who he's gonna call for further assistance....

[Homer]

So, votes for:
1) kidney/bladder problem
2) vendetta
3) territorial thing

Joy of joys.

[spc]

Dressing the dog up like that, what the he!! did you expect?  Of course she's pissed off at you

[jeremy_nash]

Dressing the dog up like that, what the he!! did you expect?  Of course she's pissed off at you

I was thinking the same thing!  or maybe she was mad the lesbian couple didnt stay the night, because secretly she is a lesbian too

[Elijafir]

Maybe she heard you listening to Tom Petty?   No, but seriously.. you haven't told us if she is fixed?  Females dogs usually have their first heat around 1 year.  Have you noticed any blood spots around where she has been sitting / laying down?   Either way, more than likely it is a territorial thing.  Is there any other animals in your household?   You said your friends brought over their puppy.. Your dog is at an age that she will be wanting to let other dogs/animals/people know that is her 'den.'  (Especially since she is close to breeding age.)  Another poster is right that your dog thinks it is becoming leader of the 'pack.'  You need to be more assertive with her. (Not aggressive, but assertive.)  If you want her in your room, don't let her on the bed anymore.  If you want it to stop completely don't let her in your room anymore.  Bleach makes dogs want to pee on it.  I don't know why, but it does.  The more you clean it the more she will want to pee on it.  You're probably just going to have to keep her out of your room until she is better trained that she only goes outside!!   I had two female dogs (Pure bread husky and shepard husky mutt) fighting over 'beta' of our 'pack' to the point that they were trying to kill each other and had to be separated at all times.  The mutt started peeing on our bed and lost her bedroom privileges.  Now that the husky is dead (shot for chasing cows, R.I.P.) it's not a problem anymore. 
Best of luck to you. 

[Homer]

Sad to hear about your husky. 

She's stopped doing it, now.  Apparently, she was sad because I stopped playing with her lately.  I think she picked the place where she felt closest to me, felt sad, and peed.  I dunno. 
Either that, or she's mad because it was raining.  She hates going in the rain.

Didn't think the dog was all that smart.  She learned to sit and stay by the second day I had her, but d@mn near nothing else. 
Maybe I should have got a small monkey or a trained midget.  But, they bite.
And the monkey would stink!  Har har har!

[mister]

Shoulda got a



They don't eat, shaZam! or piss. They're quiet.

Michael