Kathy

[loco]

I know that I am still fairly new here, and this is not about motorcycles, but it something that has effected me and I would like to share this with you.  I wrote the below words after talking with a good friend of mine that I haven't seen in years.  Our conversation brought up some memories and after writing these words it has helped me turn the corner.  Please be kind when you read what I had to say and approch it with an open mind.  BTW I'm usually not this sensitive. LOL


I hadn't thought about her in years, but last night I was talking to her brother and the memories came back. She was the sweet older sister of my best friend when I was a teenager. She was probably 3 years older than me and I was smitten. I remember coming home after being away for a few years in the military and learning of her death, I was 25 at the time. She had an aneurism and passed at a too early of an age. As I talked to her brother last night I learned more. She was in an abusive marriage and when she got sick her husband dropped her off on her Mom's porch and just left her. She died soon after that. I choked up just thinking about her and her bitter end. She deserved better.

I spent a lot of time today thinking about Kathy and remembering how the love of our youth makes us feel. I remember how I loved her with a fire and passion, yet we never even kissed. It was just one of those things that was never meant to be. By the time I was in my late teens I would never see her again. I only have a picture in my mind to remember her by.

I started thinking about those times and when me and my friends lived life to the fullest, living for the moment so to speak. These were the days of rough and tumble football and backyard camp outs. We played a rough game of football, be it in the playground or in the street. I still remember "Johnny Bench," the park bench, tackling Mike. Me, being the smallest of the group had to play a bit harder. I played with all of my heart, with fire and passion. This was the way I tackled life, with fire and passion. I can think of no more fitting tribute than to be remembered as "He Played with Heart."

I lived my life with fire and passion. A life of the highest mountains and deepest valleys. I survived the deepest lows for a shot at the highest highs. As I grew older I seemed to have traded the fire and passion for determination and intensity. As I get even older and the weather wears away at the mountain top and the silt fills the valleys I find myself just tired. The fires and passion, beaten down by life.

Maybe that is the legacy of Kathy, to remind me of a love of my youth that was so full of fire and passion that still today it can bring a tear to my eye. A love that can surpass the decades and even the afterlife to remind me of what once was and what can be again. At the core is fire and passion, a burning desire to reach the highest highs and to suffer through the lowest lows just for a shot at the summit. Not to find a "new love" but rather to find the fire and the passion that so dominated my youth. This is what Kathy has brought back to my life, a desire to stoke the fires and attack life with a passion that was once forgotten.

Kathy, you will always have a special place in my heart.

chad

[scratch]

Your words are not lost, they affirm her effect on your life.  Her life was not wasted as it made you realize your treasure anew.

My condolences on your loss.

[yamahonkawazuki]

Brother that was deep. i work with a kathy. who was in a relationship, one was identical like that. recent one was with my boss. ( owner of company) a turkish guy with a severe attitude problem. he came in raging one day. i was armed. i kindly asked him to cease talking to  her like this. i didnt care to lose my job over someone i cared about. who cared about my well being. asked him to leave to calm down. he did. things were better thereafter. but chad, idk this kathy you spoke of rather eloquently, but find out where shes buried at, and go and read this to her.i lost my mom day before my birthday last year. after 4 years of fighting cancer. ( runs rampant in family), ive not had a proper grieving over it, and it scares me. i just kept busy. it started to hit me, and i made a youtube video in tribute
consider maybe doing something like that for her?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M4S_bEteEo

i went out and looked at teh 4 christmas trees weve planted over the years. i planted one with her in 1984 when we came here to the home that is now mine. from chicago to visit. that tree at time after christmas was 8ft tall. it is now a tad over 40ft

[Toogoofy317]

I too feel that fire and intensity is dying out but at much to young an age. I know it is to disease mostly that I've been beaten down. I know the love of my life and though we both are "soul mates" it is just not meant to be because of life circumstances. It pains me to the core do I walk away or keep hanging in there in hopes things will change? I find it harder to fight these days I'm at the point I want to live life not survive it! Oh what I would give to be well.

I wrote this one day a few years ago:

The Time to Love
A day, A month, A year?
What is the difference with love?
Nothing to most, but everything your fear.
You feel years are need to show true love.

But just a day or even a minute with you.
Would be cherished more than the years.
Where friends and family were too few.
When in the past day by day was in fear.

My love will be that of forever.
Wheter it be a day or a year.
The seconds we share can never,
Be forgotten, but in parting, I will shed tears.

For life wihout you is not to bear
If I must walk away from our love.
Without ever knowing who we are,
Or what might have become of our love

Mary

[yamahonkawazuki]

Wow mary that is very poignant i know the survive part. i may not make 37 years old but im going to try. lol  im the last person to give advice so take it however you will. what i tell people is listen to your heart. i do not know your circumstances. however your  BF is a lucky man to have you. or if you part, to have had you. i guess its well, do what your heart tells you to do. talk it over with GOD, do what you have to do. not always what you want to do, but what you have to do 
Aaron

[loco]

Mary that was nice.

But just a day or even a minute with you.
Would be cherished more than the years.

This is so true.  We sometimes in live forget the moment and spend too much time worrying about tommorow.  We need to remember the moment and cherish the time.

Just a little bit of follow up to my above post.  I sent a copy of this to her brother, my best friend, and here is his reply.

Chad that is so nice that you remember Kathy that way, you were so much a part of our life and I know you meant alot to all of us you still do. You were the friend that made us all believe we could do more. I am so glad to call you friend and knowing you think of Kathy that way is awesome. Thank you

His reply made me realize that all I had done, the highs and lows, was not all for nought. 

It is amazing what words can do for you.

Chad

[Twisted]

Maybe stick a little "Kathy" sticker on your bike somewhere so when you see it  or if someone asks "What's the sticker for?"

You can say "It makes me realize that all I have done, the highs and lows, was not all for nought."  

[yamahonkawazuki]

or even a vanity tag