HD Pre-Ride Checklist

[ryott52]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1353199509.html

Saw this on CL while stuck at work, thought it was fantastic.

[tt_four]

haha some of those were pretty good. It never gets old. I'm glad it got tagged for 'best of' before it got flagged and removed by HD owners.

[xunedeinx]

LMFAO!

Hate to say it, but while it isnt true for every one of them, its true for most of them..

especially the lawyers-turned-weekend-thug type.

-Justin

[jserio]

 

[The Buddha]

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the ?Live to ride?ride to live? statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the ?I?m a bad ass motherfucker? harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added ghey appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some ?chapter? like: North chapter of pig f%$king obese attention whore dork bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (ghey pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shaZam! down the road.


Before it gets flagged and deleted.
See my neighbor was all of these and more. Except he managed to put 25K on one bike in 5 years before totalling it, then did 8K on the second in ~18 months before he moved away.

In the period we lived here he out rode me for miles just about. The only time I out rode him was the 6-7 months I spent in houston in 07/08. Then as I moved back to charlotte, of all Ironies, he moved to Houston.
Cool.
Buddha.

[lucky4034]

LoLz

Ok, so Im new to this whole biking thing, but my friend who basically got me into this has a HD Sportster and his friend a Vrod.  Both are great guys, but the whole "HD culture" has seemingly got them under some sort of weird trance.

[mister]

Hmmm... this is your HD rider for you....

A HD Rider is Born (or rather, finds himself)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpOBgvHmqf4

Michael

[yamahonkawazuki]

ive gotten more shaZam! from non hd riders than from hd riders lol

[jserio]

Seems it is a never ending cycle. HD riders(generally) bash sportbikes. (although most have never been on a sportbike) Sportbike riders(generally) bash HD riders. (although most have never been on an HD) Although it seems people on mopeds/scooters get railed by everyone, even those on ordinary pedal bikes. 

[yamahonkawazuki]

Seems it is a never ending cycle. HD riders(generally) bash sportbikes. (although most have never been on a sportbike) Sportbike riders(generally) bash HD riders. (although most have never been on an HD) Although it seems people on mopeds/scooters get railed by everyone, even those on ordinary pedal bikes. 

its weird. ive been on both. hell all 3, and i bash no one. to me it shows lack of character. its not WHAT you ride. its the factyou DO ride. and look out for other riders. i dont criticise drivers for their choice in cars.either. someone hasa bike says get on take a ride. id be honored. regardless of whos name is on it. i look beyond the book cover. not stop there.

[Big Rich]

That's one of the reasons I shaved all the Suzuki badges off my GR. Unless somebody knows what a GS motor looks like, they won't even guess Suzuki.

[pookiebear]

Seems it is a never ending cycle. HD riders(generally) bash sportbikes. (although most have never been on a sportbike) Sportbike riders(generally) bash HD riders. (although most have never been on an HD) Although it seems people on mopeds/scooters get railed by everyone, even those on ordinary pedal bikes. 

The bash each other too. Seems most of the sportster riders get bashed on too

http://www.hdforums.com/forum/sportster-models/220811-get-a-real-bike.html

Thread is kind of funny.

[mister]

Seems it is a never ending cycle. HD riders(generally) bash sportbikes. (although most have never been on a sportbike) Sportbike riders(generally) bash HD riders. (although most have never been on an HD) Although it seems people on mopeds/scooters get railed by everyone, even those on ordinary pedal bikes. 

The bash each other too. Seems most of the sportster riders get bashed on too

http://www.hdforums.com/forum/sportster-models/220811-get-a-real-bike.html

Thread is kind of funny.

Yep. I sometimes ride with a couple iof HD riders and they bash each other no end. Seems they each think they aren't riding the right type of HD 

Michael

[tt_four]

I don't usually hear as much about people being picked on solely because they're riding a harley. It's usually when you see the guys who didn't buy it because they want to ride it, instead bought it because because they wanted to feel legit when they put on their HD t shirt, jeans, boots, socks, bandana, sunglasses, and drove their HD edition Ford F150. Riding just about any bike is nothing more than riding a bike, but people have turned owning a HD into something other than just riding a motorcycle and that's what usually bothers people. I've got no issues at all with the guy who's actually out riding his HD with a smile on his face. Just don't understand the guys cruising around with the mandatory scowl on their face. If you're not enjoying yourself, stop doing it. No one's gonna think you're tough if you're 60 and are still in a 'boys only club' with matching jackets. That's the kinda stuff 12 year olds do.

At the same time, I prefer sportbikes, but I make fun of the guys who ride them past my office all day non stop. It's all the same goons who just do loops around the same few city blocks with no gear doing nothing but waiting until the next redlight or traffic jam so they can start revving their engine all while not going anywhere in a sad attempt to scream "SOMEBODY LOOK AT ME PLEEEEAAAAASSSE!" in their timberlands and Icon gear with that stupid plastic stick on mohawk stuck on their helmet. Every kind of bike has it's group of obnoxious owners. You never see the good sportbike riders because they're all hidden on twisty back roads, and you don't see that many of the good HD riders because they're off cruising quietly down the highway. The ones who need picked on are all those guys who live to sit at redlights in their desired outfits just to make noise.

[Twism86]

"Had a guy get wise on me when I first got mine, told him if I wanted something bigger I would call his wife."

A quote from that HD forum about a guy on a sporty. LMFAO. I intend to use that line when someone gives me crap about my GS. I can insert wife/gf/mom/sister as applicable.

[pandy]

LoL!

I've always been jealous of the tassels....   

[jserio]

My favorite quote from that thread was the one about putting the motor from his lawnmower on his recliner. Almost makes me want to try it.

[zkbuck]

My favorite quote from that thread was the one about putting the motor from his lawnmower on his recliner. Almost makes me want to try it.

I have a buddy that did try it, didn't go all that fast but it was the most comfortable ride ever!