Ask Me How I Know.......

[pliskin]

Ask me how I know what 3 dislocated knees feels like.

The 1st one feels like being struck by lightning when the ER doctor sets it.
The 2nd one makes you sick when the rookie ER doc sets it, after 3 tries.
The 3rd one.....well, you walk if off and grab a beer after you set it yourself.

Ask me how I know.

As someone missing an ACL, I feel your pain. After getting kicked out of a bar, a friend of mine tackled me from behind and popped my knee out of place. I kicked it back in, got up, and walked a mile and a half home.

That's funny, that's how I popped #3. A buddy came up behind me and tried to tackle me and throw me in a pool. My knee went pop and I fell down 4 stairs onto the cement deck. That was my right knee...my good one since popping the left on 2 times. So, I'm laying there by myself because everyone ran. I said F--k it and counted to three then punched it back in with my fist (thanks to the beer God). I didn't even notice the 5" cut in my arm pit that happened when I tried to grab a chain-link fence in the fall.

Needless to say I now have a phobia with dislocations. I have nightmares from time to time where my knee just decides to pop out while I'm laying in bed even though I'm trying to hold it in with my hands.
Google pics of dislocated knees if you need to see one. I just can to it.

That reminds me. Ask me how I know how toe F--king your physical therapist happens.

[yamahonkawazuki]

doing WHAT to your PT?

[JAS6377]

... Kinky..?

[Janx101]

Was she into it though? ....  ... Oh damn ... PT was a she I hope!?

[pliskin]

Yes, she was a smoking hot female PT and I was a wounded 18yr old wrestler sitting out the season. She was going to take care of me.....that was her job.

I was lying on my back and she started to massage it after she worked it real hard (my knee). She really wore me out. Anyway, I'm just laying there looking over at her impressive equipment (incline leg press machine, etc) while she caressed my spent bone with her skilled hands (my knee cap). I'm on sort of a low masseuse table with a gym-mat top. She was straddling my leg. I feel something on my toe....I give it a poke or 2 or 3 before I wonder what the he11? and look down, only to see I'm poking her right in the crotch with my big toe. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow, I'm speechless. She cracks a little smile because by the embarrassed look on my face she knew I did not know what I was doing.....we never spoke a word about it. I left her there alone and wanting in the basement of that hospital.

So, my big toe got some.

Somehow this story sounds a little like Vision Quest??

[Janx101]

awesome!!   

... ah geez my gut is killin me!! 

[JAS6377]

All you needed was some cheesy background music lol.

[Janx101]

All you needed was some cheesy background music lol.

[slipperymongoose]

Don't install and run pinnacle studio 15 then upgrade to pinnacle 16 then try and uninstall 15. Ask me how I know

[yamahonkawazuki]

LMAO pliskin, the most innuendos in one posting ever.

[yamahonkawazuki]

All you needed was some cheesy background music lol.

or some pornoish music

[Janx101]

weird!! ... 

apple puree earth what is good
"la pomme de terre puree qu'est-ce que c'est bon" from French

french makes everything sound sexy i suppose!?

[JAS6377]

I have another one!

When testing needle movement after putting washers on your needles, don't push too hard or the needle cap and spring will fly off all over the kitchen. Then you'll have to spend 10 minutes looking for a teeny little spring that could have flown anywhere within a 15ft radius.

Also, always have a drill and screw extractor set on hand if you haven't replaced the screws on your carbs. (Then get really angry, throw a curse, and use vise grips because the extractor didn't work, then replace the screws with #10-32 x 1/2 inch allen heads.)

...Ask me how I know...

[Zmerica19]

Yes, she was a smoking hot female PT and I was a wounded 18yr old wrestler sitting out the season. She was going to take care of me.....that was her job.

I was lying on my back and she started to massage it after she worked it real hard (my knee). She really wore me out. Anyway, I'm just laying there looking over at her impressive equipment (incline leg press machine, etc) while she caressed my spent bone with her skilled hands (my knee cap). I'm on sort of a low masseuse table with a gym-mat top. She was straddling my leg. I feel something on my toe....I give it a poke or 2 or 3 before I wonder what the he11? and look down, only to see I'm poking her right in the crotch with my big toe. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow, I'm speechless. She cracks a little smile because by the embarrassed look on my face she knew I did not know what I was doing.....we never spoke a word about it. I left her there alone and wanting in the basement of that hospital.

So, my big toe got some.

Somehow this story sounds a little like Vision Quest??

i guess that gives you a good reason to smell your foot right?

[Kiwingenuity]

I just remembered a very good one (after replying in a different thread).

If you ever are replacing a skittled traffic light with the remainder of the intersection lights still running, be sure to position the ladder in front of the signal while you reconnect the signal lights (especially if there happens to be a signal on each side of the pole).... Otherwise you may nearly have a traffic incident...

Ask me how I know...

[slipperymongoose]

Never use diesel to clean your chain or soak you chain in.

Ask me how I know.

[adidasguy]

Damn coons. What do they get to.... Like 30 pounds? Juveniles 14 pounds?
Super colibri .22's (20gr 500fps) not as good as air gun sending 18gr bb tipped pellets at 1000fps.
Please don't ask me how I know.

[codajastal]

Damn coons. What do they get to.... Like 30 pounds? Juveniles 14 pounds?
Super colibri .22's (20gr 500fps) not as good as air gun sending 18gr bb tipped pellets at 1000fps.
Please don't ask me how I know.

Same damn coon problems here? Juveniles are about 70lbs though with adults being 180lbs

[yamahonkawazuki]

broadzilla returned. ( mama coon. bîtch is huge. and mean too. i clocked her upside the head with an old piston i had laying about. so shed get off my porch.

[adidasguy]

Damn coons. What do they get to.... Like 30 pounds? Juveniles 14 pounds?
Super colibri .22's (20gr 500fps) not as good as air gun sending 18gr bb tipped pellets at 1000fps.
Please don't ask me how I know.

Same damn coon problems here? Juveniles are about 70lbs though with adults being 180lbs

We are speaking of different coons.