Dating sites/stories/advice....

[Big Rich]

If we are casting votes for pictures to use, I'd go with the recent post above. Actually, that one and a recent picture with the short hair so there isn't any surprises.

Or a picture of the Turtle van.... 

[Janx101]

Showbiz.... are you SURE you ain't Elizabeth Montgomery and just forgot?! .. that's startlingly similar!

[ShowBizWolf]

Haha Rich! I'd make sure it was a pic of the van before the rust and the peeling clear!!    Yes I would have to try and get a nice picture of me now... don't have too many and they aren't that good anyway... I'm not big on selfies lol !!!

Janx I am positive I didn't forget... I check my bank account regularly and it certainly does not have the $$$$$ that I'm sure she had !!    Would be very nice though 

[1034am]

i took a course in online dating, from david d'angelo. met my wife 2 months later. (it's geared for dudes, but i'm sure there's info for women.) it really helped me see what my profile looked like to the opposite sex. and other advice, like casting a wide net (i was on 7 or 8 diff sites.) or my favorite, if nobody is responding, start soliciting random advice ('ghey guys keep contacting me, is my profile putting out a vibe?' got almost 100% responses from that one, even if it wasn't remotely true.) it's not lying, it's flirting! i also like the neil strauss book 'the game.'  a must read for dating.

girls problems aren't the same as guy's, it's usually quality control.

stay safe and be patient. stick to your guns. keep riding.

[The Buddha]

girls problems aren't the same as guy's, it's usually quality control.

Not that this applies to Ms I dream of Jeannie here - but anyway here goes

Unless the girl is fugly ... for that matter girls are pretty shallow and a fugly guy would also be left in the lurch. As would a guy who don't got game (the whole PUA thing is to give game to guys who seem to be missing it)

BTW most injuns tend to be pretty much in favor of finding your own girl/boy cos its been romanticized in movies a lot ... and its a country of arranged marriages - so the balance tends to be stacked in the camp of - If you find your own guy/gal - hey that's awesome ... if not, well join the rest of our boring club ... and he says that he's in favor of arranged marriages. The reason seems to be pretty sound. He says he's seen girls make awful choices that entirely defy everyone's common sense ... And I tend to agree with him a bit.
Girls tend to be attracted to bad boys. The trick here is to not be a real bad boy, but to appear as one. A real bad boy would be doing awful things and really making her miserable once they are together. And in a country where break up's and divorces are very uncommon it can be pretty traumatic. Of course, in the US its just $$$$ ... and a lot less stigmatic.

Cool.
Buddha.

[yamahonkawazuki]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? i want to make sure im alive in 2 mos before i consider dating. last thing i want to do is online dating. dont want a mail order bride or a deal on shoes.  that and dont feel like dealing with materialisting people lol. main thing is got this personal battle to fight right now. will worry about dating later. look at it this way i dont have to ask permission to acquire toys.
Aaron

[1034am]

You know, years ago people would say 'I don't want to meet somebody in a bar! Ugh! End up w/some drunk.' Now it's like 'I dont' want to meet somebody online! Who knows what type of weirdo you'll meet!'
My parents met when my dad was cruising in his Bonneville convertible and my mom was hanging on a street corner w/her friends pretending to smoke a cigarette (she claims she just held it, never inhaled.) My dad's friend was like, 'havent' we met before? I think it was Hong Kong.' The girls were like 'gross!', but my mom thought the driver was cute so they hopped in. And thankfully my dad was not a homicidal maniac, and 47 yrs later here we are.

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

[The Buddha]

That is so sweet ... and oddly I may live on the only street where there are girls hanging out @ the street corner ... no seriously, there is like 8-9 of em, in all ages form 14-15 to like 2-3 (yes there are) - cos they are catholic, and they have like 14 kids, and only 2 boys, all the rest girls, and their house is on the corner. LOL, didn't see that one coming did ya ...

Anyway, my son has his eye on one of em, or the other way around ... except I dunno which one - they all too similar and all have alike names. And he goes cruising past em on his bicycle. LOL.

Cool.
Buddha.

[FTL900]

LOL Buddha!! I tried to change my avatar to this old picture of me but for some reason it won't let me.

That s a gorgeous picture!!   


Having spent time on POF, Match, and others that escape me, I absolutely hate trying to meeting people online. 
Altho I've had limited successes, meeting or talking online is so much different than IRL.   

I've always felt like it should be very easy for a woman to meet a man... go to an event that is male dominated.   
Bike nights are the first thing that come to mind. A girl in a Suzuki jacket will have 4 times as many people talking to her as a guy in a Suzuki jacket. One that can actually ride is better.  One that owns her own bike is even better.

If I were a woman and didn't ride, I'd frequent car shows, races, guy things like that. 
Unfortunately I've never been able to figure out the female equivalent, since women do things that are either with a group of friends, or go places where a guy would be out of place (thinking nail salon).  I'm not much big into the bar scene, and wouldn't want to meet someone that I really liked but then found out she enjoyed spending all her free time in that bar.

Online dating is such a mixed bag, because everyone wants to step up in the world... looking for someone that makes more money than them, more attractive than them, and usually looking for someone younger than them. 
After getting numerous messages from women 10-15 years older than me with librarian/cat/bingo sedentary lifestyles, I started replacing all my pictures with hiking and motorcycle pictures. 
That helped a little bit, altho, you'd be amazed at how many woman wrote to me without ever considering the possibility of actually riding on a motorcycle.

I am a firm believer in using the right pictures tho.  Having a webcam pic of your blue face in a dark room is not attractive, and you'd be surprised how many times that happens. 
What this says about (this random internet girl) is "I spend my whole life indoors, right here on this computer"


I advocate getting outdoor pictures doing activities that you enjoy... a pic of you (without helmet) leaning on your Suzuki, with a scenic background (even a local park will do).   
Taking pictures like this will seem odd and strange at the time, but later you'll find yourself gravitating towards that picture more and more. 
This random internet picture was dead simple other than having a friend to take it.  It was parked on the side of the road!!


A picture like this helps ward off (some of) the couch potatoes, attracts people with a similar lifestyle (or at least interest), and makes you appear outgoing and fun all at the same time. 

From there, I've decided all first meetings should be someplace quick, light, and easy.. coffee at Starbucks, a quick drink at Applebee's bar, or similar. 
Typically both people know their level of interest in the first 5 minutes, so there's no sense in dragging it out.  And if things go really well, it's easy to move to another location or activity.

The other big thing I've run into is what I call the professionally single people.  For whatever reason, they've been on their own too long and it's easier to browse profiles on your computer or phone and find reasons to reject each person, waiting for the perfect storm to come along. 
Those people I attempt to identify and disregard as quickly as possible.  I don't want to email for 4 months, I don't want to talk on the phone for 6 months, I want to meet and discover if there's any mutual interest in continuing with a live dating relationship.

OK, </rant>.  There's my two cents, and a little bit more.   You're very pretty, and I wish you luck in your endeavor. 
Oh yeah, I'm a writer.    

[The Buddha]

This random internet picture was dead simple other than having a friend to take it.  It was parked on the side of the road!!


A picture like this helps ward off (some of) the couch potatoes, attracts people with a similar lifestyle (or at least interest), and makes you appear outgoing and fun all at the same time. 

However the woman's expression in this pic screams "I've sat on this parked bike and I'm in waaaaaaaaayyyy over my head" and the camera man if he was a guy seems to be of the mentality - "whatever Buddha Loves You, you want to put pic of you on a dating site but wont give it up for me ... let me click this thing and get outta here, so I don't have to stay frustrated with you tagging along" - Cos I've taken a pic of my wife, who's 5 ft 00 and cant ride a bicycle on my katana and on my GS and a few other bikes, and you cant even tell she's not moving without some serious looking. That on a bike that's on the side stand. And I am not even that good @ taking pics.

Cool.
Buddha.

[FTL900]

Yeah, it's not a real excited look on her face.  I was just pointing out the huge difference in having a selife in front of your computer at home, or using a picture outside that carries a more fun and active vibe with it. 
You're totally right about that woman on the Duck, but like I said, it's just a random internet picture that I grabbed. 

[The Buddha]

Yeah, it's not a real excited look on her face.  I was just pointing out the huge difference in having a selife in front of your computer at home, or using a picture outside that carries a more fun and active vibe with it. 
You're totally right about that woman on the Duck, but like I said, it's just a random internet picture that I grabbed.

Yea but I'll still do her.
That one who looks like she's not seen the light of day in 20 yrs ... yea her too, who am I kidding. Though she could be 300 lb ... you cant really tell.

Cool.
Buddha.

[jakeoster]

Wouldn't recommend online dating as a primary means of looking for someone. As a female you will get absolutely inundated with responses that will make it difficult to sort through the riff-raff.

Take a look at your life and what you do on a regular basis. If you do mostly the same thing all the time, switch it up. Try new things and go new places. You will meet new eligible guys along the way and get to see who they really are from the moment you meet them.

The online route is more of a minefield; you may find someone but not after stepping over a bunch of explosives.

[ShowBizWolf]

FTL900, thank you for the compliment!! And for the thought-provoking reply.... You make some very good points about what should be and shouldn't be in a picture. Many of those things/factors play a part in how we are perceived and sometimes we don't even realize it!!

jakeoster, thank you for your reply as well! You made an excellent suggestion about trying new things and going to different places. *nods* I most certainly have had my fair share of explosives you mentioned and I am tired of it LOL! 

I turned to online stuff because I really don't do much and my town is very small. I have a touch of social anxiety which makes it hard for me to venture out of my comfort zone of going shopping late at night when there aren't many people, hanging out with a friend on a one-on-one basis, etc. I don't do much except go to work, church, out for rides, or to my dad's shop to work on my car.

[The Buddha]

I used to do this as a matter of course, and sometimes I got called a social butterfly.
In college when we used to have a college level event, I'd make ti a point to hang out with people not from my hostel.
When its inter-college I'll fraternize with people not in my college.
If its people from other states - I'll socialize with people from another state.

You can easily see how you could end up fraternizing with the enemy there ... but It worked for me.

Cool.
Buddha.

[ShowBizWolf]

Buddha that's a good idea as well... if I was still in college it would take all my strength +100 more to force my anxiety aside and do something like that but for anyone else that ever reads this thread, it certainly is a good method to try!!!

Back around the time I started this thread, I joined another forum called alonelylife.com. I've been talking to someone from there for the past 2.5 months and we met in person two weeks ago. Things are going very well so far... I have high hopes... wish me luck fellas

[The Buddha]

I have long fought the urge to not social butterfly my way through life, and many times I have been caught fraternizing with the enemy. But I made some solid friends in other disciplines and they helped me out a lot.
Cool.
Buddha.

[jakeoster]

Buddha that's a good idea as well... if I was still in college it would take all my strength +100 more to force my anxiety aside and do something like that but for anyone else that ever reads this thread, it certainly is a good method to try!!!

Back around the time I started this thread, I joined another forum called alonelylife.com. I've been talking to someone from there for the past 2.5 months and we met in person two weeks ago. Things are going very well so far... I have high hopes... wish me luck fellas

Good luck! Don't scare em too hard when you take em on the first ride

[Wladziu2.0]

.

[Daeouse]

Ok, this is my opinion.

Dating sites work for some people, but not for everyone. I myself have tried it several times without much success. Depending on what you're looking for it can be an excellent resource for finding someone to share your life with, however it can be a hub for "creepers" and riff-raff of all kinds. I have female friends who have tried it and claimed that they're buried under messages from men who's stunning linguistic skills can be summed up with varying iterations of "'sup, girl", "damn you fine", and "wanna fuq?". (I wish I was kidding on that last one.  )

If you can find the right site, you could do it. However, the best advice over dating came from a friend of mine; she told me to "do what you love to do, and love will find you along the way".

My humble opinion.