One things I've always heard is you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends nose but you can not pick your family. Also tru is that fact that you cant pick your ex girlfriends, once you've dated them there is no turning that back. They seem to have a way of worming themselves back into yur life. To bad Ortho or Raid doesnt make a ex g/f repellent. I'd pay decent money for never having to deal with one of them ever again. Ofcouse the good ones you never hear from again, the rest seem to like to chime in once in a while to throw a wrench in the gears. You woman r crazy! :guns:
-ash
Quote from: ashmanI'd pay decent money for never having to deal with one of them ever again.
some people call that alimony.
I'm on good terms with most of my exes. :dunno: We have coffee or watch movies sometimes, and otherwise live our own lives. No biggie.
QuoteAlso tru is that fact that you cant pick your ex girlfriends
That's one of the few things in life you have total control over. :lol: If you never date someone, she can never be an ex!
To quote Mitch Hedberg - "I don't have a girlfriend... but I do know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that."
i hear you brother...
my ex vanessa is trying to creep her way back into my heart after cracking it, breaking it, liquifiying it..
now she wants back. I really dont feel like giving in. My heart is not ready for all teh BS I went thru in the end.
Funny she goes "i always loved you, and i still do", yeah like i believe that, cause if that wsa teh case she should have been willing to work on teh relationship. She didnt work on our relationship, it was long distance, i did 99% of the work. It ended because of her selfish needs.
she claims she is no longer what she used to be and is willing to work on things, well i dont see anyting. Infact i saw things at the loser guys she was dating. Its funny how she tried to justify how great those guys were, and yet she got bugged with them... and now she is back knocking on my door.
Frankly I am not willing to go back.. but then i havent been dating myself.. i need to date so i dont have a possiblity of going back to her.
Problem: I havnt been getting the response from women that i want. A part of me wants to give up and go back and another part says no more and wants to go find the next rejection. I dont understand why some women who it would work with, somehow dont want to it to the next level with me but are willing to with losers. On the other hand i get statements like "your an awesome guy, you should be taken" and yet im to be taken.
oh well enoguh of me ranting.. im feeling HOT>. time to turn down the AC to 74.
All's fair in love and war. In my experience, most folk leave a relationship feeling that they put more into it than they got out. But one thing I've learned - you never get back what you put in to a relantionship. So be careful with what you put in.
-Don't put more in if you're not getting out what you need, with the thought that putting in more will make the other appreciate and reciprocate. Talk honestly, but don't put in more than you're prepared to lose.
-Along those lines - sacrifice is meaningless if the other person doesn't want or understand what you're sacrificing. So don't bother to sacrifice what isn't appreciated.
The pain of loss is great in deed, but the loss of pain,and all that mirrors it is greater by far.
Truely blessed are those whom love and are loved.
Love is like a red red Rose, And im feeling alittel Thorny!
the 3 rings, always remember the rings my son.
ok, im out, anyone else?
Quote from: BlueknytAnd im feeling alittel Thorny!
Do you mean
you're feeling a little...?
RRRaarrrrr :kiss:
i'm feeling a bit more sober now then when i wrote that. i base it upon my ex g/f who was 18 when we started dating myself 21 @ the time. Numerically not a big age diff but maturity, leaps and bounds! She would always run cold then hot and play lil games and treat me like crap.
We've been broken up over a year and every couple months she calls up and says whatsup, we should hang out ect ect. I make the attempts but shes always busy we hang out 1 or 2X and then just kinda drift appart. Last month she called me and I was like, ya i broke my wrist in a bike accident A MONTH AGO!, she was shocked, like ya we never talk so dont act surprised. So 2 nite again she I.M.'s me sayin shes been having "innappropriate dreams" about me and part of her must still want me, I go oh u broke up w/ the MARRIED GUY yur dating (i kid not) she goes, no we r togther. Stupidly I call her 2 nite and she blows me off cuz her roommates b/f just got an X box and tells me she'll call me back in 5 min in the middle of a game. 2 hr later I get a call after i send a text message sayin, she never was there when it counted and our "relationship" was a sham. she left a message sayin i'm crazy like i always was....
you woman r the crzy ones here, once a relationships over. its over, let it die!!! she knows i'm very happily involved in a relationship right now and still calls me and says she is "having inappropriate dreams" i'm sure if we hung out and I made a move she would let it go somewhere. she only called cuz she wants booty. Is it just me or am I right?!?!
-ash :x
I have noticed that most people enter a relationship with the hopes of being together forever, then get upset when it doesnt work. If you have some one you enjoy being with-- enjoy it!! dont worry about tomorrow, next week or next year. Enjoy today. if you are ment to be together then next week will happen. treat each day like its your first and last together. if and when it does end dont dwell on the bad feelings and heartache - think about the fun you had and the time spent together then move on!! if it didn't work the first time it wont work the second!!
Quote from: RoadstergalTo quote Mitch Hedberg - "I don't have a girlfriend... but I do know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that."
R.I.P. Mitch. That is my favorite Mitch Hedberg line.
"My buddy asked me if I wanted to see a picture of him when he was younger. All pictures are pictures of you when you were younger. Show me a picture of you when you're older, then I'll be impressed."
Quote from: ashmanyou woman r the crzy ones here, once a relationships over. its over, let it die!!!
Well... for starters, as should be obvious, you can't judge all XXs by one experience in one relationship. Also - 18 is a time of crazy hormones and crazy attachments that are very strong one moment and disappear the next (lather, rinse, repeat). And, quite frankly, that can last through 21. ;) I didn't date when I was 18; that's just a crazy time.
Quote from: ktrimIf you have some one you enjoy being with-- enjoy it!! dont worry about tomorrow, next week or next year. Enjoy today. if you are ment to be together then next week will happen. treat each day like its your first and last together. if and when it does end dont dwell on the bad feelings and heartache - think about the fun you had and the time spent together then move on!
:thumb: Breakup is just a recognition that it was not meant to be; it doesn't need to be a hateful or hurtful time. Most of the relationships I see that end badly end so because one or both parties were Trying To Make It Work - and although compromise and consideration are key in a good relantionship, when Trying To Make It Work becomes pain, it's time to let it go.
ok to go off on the ex GF thing. I dated a chick all through high school, I was 16 and a soph, she was 15 and a fresh, we were eachothers first and all that mumbo. Figured I would marry her. well I went away to college and things got rough, we decided to call it off for the time being and she slept with one of my good friends to get back at me, so it was over I was done with her, she dated some guy for about a year, i had dated a few girls over the course of the year and then her BF who was sooo much better than I was cheated on her with her best friend, at karma great. Well anyway I was pretty much over her and hadnt talked to her in about a year, then she decided she wanted to give US a try again.
To make a long story short we have been married for 2 years and have 2 kids.
So dont knock the ex GF thing in every case. Admitted there are pshyco ladies that want nothing more than to hurt you cause thats all they know how.
But man if your single or semi single and this chick wants a booty call, why not give it up? just go into it knowing its a booty call. basically if you have the mind set that its just booty, keep her at arms length.
Anyway The point is just cause they are an ex, you dont have to write them off completely, but for physco ladies, one thing comes to mind, restraining order.
i had an ex who i hadn't spoken to in a year (nasty breakup, serious mind games, etc . . .). when we started speaking again she was dating a friend of mine. that didn't last long and soon i was having five hour phone calls in the wee hours during which we both said we still loved each other.
we got back together, eventually moved in and got married.
to make a long story short, we have been divorced for 2 years and i haven't spoken to or seen her since. :) :) :)
cheers,
will
Quote from: chbixAnyway The point is just cause they are an ex, you dont have to write them off completely, but for physco ladies, one thing comes to mind, restraining order.
And don't forget that from their side, you might be the psycho one. It's very hard to judge things when there is a lot of emotion involved, and your signals might be as mixed as the ones you're getting. Booty call being one of those; I would strongly disagree that's a good idea. It's a mixed message. If you're in the post-relationship need-cooling-off time, cool off and do it completely. No calls, no emails, nothing. It can take a year or more, but you can be friends afterwards if you've both stuck to your guns on your intents; you can't if you've waffled back and forth.
I am recently single (time to get back in shape, already dropped ten pounds). I have an interesting story, but. . .
I can't tell it because I am afraid my ex-girlfriend might be monitoring this board. . .
Float this out there, see if I get angry any calls. If the coast seems clear, I'll tell you guys what is up.
Word of advice: if she comes by at midnight to drop all of your stuff off that you left at her apartment, just kick her out, don't let her stay till 5am chewing your ear off about bull$hit.
2 weeks ago, hence the selling of her bike on the For Sale/Trade/Hot Deals board. (Shameless plug)
There is nothing like a Grudge f%$k!
Everyone enters a relationship to get something they NEED.
The weaker personality ALWAYS loses.
You're much better off in a relationship where THEY chased YOU.
If YOU fall head over heals YOU'RE going to take another big fall down the road.
A few "truisms" from your pal joe.
I am sure, if you asked, someone on this forum could explain Einstein's theory of relativity or the law of converging velocities, someone might even be prepart to start building a ten lane highway bridge from L.A. to China, Kerry would chip in a helpfull picture or two. Joe and Cas would argue, John Bates would explain the electrics involved, these truths are self evident.
Trying to get an explanation of how the opposite sex thinks, why they do what they do......Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar forget it.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote from: junoThere is nothing like a Grudge f%$k!
there's nothing like a f%$k. period. :thumb:
Quote from: Cal PriceTrying to get an explanation of how the opposite sex thinks, why they do what they do......Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar forget it.
Darn, and I was hoping for some insight. :P
My personal formula for getting over an ex requires taking the amont of time you dated them, and then spending twice that amount of time without communicating with them. Being friends with and ex is not only a waste of time (you could be spending that time with your girlfriend or a prospect) but just a cause of grief (especially if you have a new gf). Even if your aren't caused grief, often you are mindfunking the other party. The exception to this is non-serious flings, but it has to be understood that way by both of you.
I'm willing to bet my life savings that at least a few of these exes that roadster gal is friends with, for example, still had feelings for her or were strung along etc... by only her good intentions, of course.
Haven't you ever heard the song "You've got to be cruel to be kind?" Make that cut fast and quick my friends...
Quote from: conflicttheoristBeing friends with and ex is not only a waste of time but just a cause of grief
+1 Most of the time...
I know a few people that can pull it off, but I never could.
I don't give up easy though... So, by the time it's over it's OVER!!!!! If no one ends up trying to kill the other, that's a success.
I actually had to throw an ex out of my house a few times... She was totally nuts. She broke up with me (after semi-cheating on me) and wanted NOTHING to do with me... Until I got a new GF (which I eventually married)... Then the crazy ExGF called me every day, came over to my house all the time, started harassing my GF and friends... She actually called my GF to see if she wanted to get in on a three-way with her and her BF. :?
It only got worse from there... She got CRAZY into coke... Then she got pregnant... Then her BF (baby's father) ODed and died... :o
Talk about dodging a bullet!!!
I ran into her a few years later and she seemed to have straightened out... And her kid looked normal. :lol:
Quote from: joerockerEveryone enters a relationship to get something they NEED.
The weaker personality ALWAYS loses.
You're much better off in a relationship where THEY chased YOU.
If YOU fall head over heals YOU'RE going to take another big fall down the road.
A few "truisms" from your pal joe.
So true Joe ... you know I actually agree with this guy to a certain extent even in his most inflammatory flame starters ... You are what is called a contrarian ... Just in it for the argument ... argue with me and you'll be my friend, dont argue or like most sales idiots do ... start an argument and then adopt a policy of "The customer's always right" ... then you'll get slammed ... I am right because you're a moron ... not because I'm the "customer" ...
Anyway ... Weaker personality loses yes ... but does the stronger personality acknowledge that and is thankful for that - that will be the real test ...
If they chase you ... you'll have the upper hand ... especially if it happened twice ... mainly because statistically one is the steady one and the fickle one always will end up yeilding ... important not to take advantage of that ... Lessons from my real life ... I dont actually divulge that ... cos That would leave me sounding like Dr Phil or Dr Pill ...
:lol: Anyway ... if a girl after breaking up says she wants to be your friend ... usually ... You go ... Be friend ... with me ... wait till she says yes ... then go ... no ... OK fine its not as damaging as other things that can be said ... like you dont know bikes, you dont know computers ... you dont know sports, you dont know even decent math ... so why would I want such a 1 dimensional friend ... or worse ... So like you'd call me if you need to move heavy furniture or fix your car etc ... but you dont put out ... ha ha ...
Cool.
Srinath.
Quote from: conflicttheorist
Being friends with and ex is not only a waste of time but just a cause of grief
If you try at being friends, yes it will just cause grief. I don't try, and that seems to work. My girlfriend and I broke up after six years of dating. At first we didn't speak, and when we did the things being said weren't very nice. But slowly we've forgiven each other for various things, and we're "friends", so to speak. It's been about six months since the split. We live several towns apart, so I've seen her only 2-3 times since our split, we go to lunch, catch up, leave. Also some occasional emails. Last time I spoke to her was a few weeks ago, so it's not very often. Like I said, I don't try to be her friend, if we get along, fine. If not, then that's how it has to be. But it's nice to still be able to talk to her, despite our differences that caused us to go our seperate ways.
Of course, maybe she's just being friendly so I'll still take her out on the Suki :lol:
Quote from: conflicttheoristBeing friends with and ex is not only a waste of time (you could be spending that time with your girlfriend or a prospect) but just a cause of grief (especially if you have a new gf).
I don't agree. Being in that not-friends-pretending-to-be-friends-to-get-the-other-person-back-or-to-get-back-at-the-other-person is bad and destructive, but once you've had that cooling-off period (which is longer than most people want to give it; a year of absolutely no contact isn't a bad rule of thumb), there's nothing wrong and everything good about honestly being friends. I would never sleep with a guy I didn't like enough to stay friends with him afterwards. One of my exes has a new girlfriend, and we hang out sometimes and watch movies or go on drives. Not often, maybe once a month or so, but friends are a good thing - and we've helped each other out here and there, as friends do.
ah, but left out the other one, Friends with Benifits.
No, alot of Ex's ive seen from many age groups and duration of relationships.
are just vengful, and spiteful. most of these folks cant stand what they themselves become and blame the other person.
Quote from: BlueknytNo, alot of Ex's ive seen from many age groups and duration of relationships.
are just vengful, and spiteful. most of these folks cant stand what they themselves become and blame the other person.
Hmm, that just hasn't been my experience. I won't say that I'm all cozy with all of my exes - a couple I just don't see, and that's fine - and I won't say that all my breakups have been smooth, but this long-term bitterness - that hasn't been my experience.
Love is a risk, and if you walk in knowing the risk and accepting it, you'll be prepared for when the dice don't fall your way. And you'd better make damn sure the other person is, too. :P
Everyone has had his or her heart broken; it feels like caca at the time, but it's nothing new. It has happened before and will happen again. So you have your funk and you get over it.
I totally agree with Roadstergal. I'm still friends with a couple of my exes. They are good guys, but we just weren't right for each other anymore. :dunno: Nothing awful happened, we shared a good portion of our lives with each other, we still care about each other.
As far as the crazy ex stories, like the ones who call constantly, who call your current girlfriends, who can't let go, who get into drugs, blah blah blah- that has nothing to do with trying to be friends with an ex. If you don't want that sort of stuff in your life, don't date psychos in the first place!
OK No offence but I did wait like 2 days and no one posted what they're thinking ... so I decided to ...
"The guys may just be waiting for the right moment ... "
OK OK stop throwing bricks ... OK I didn't mean that ... :lol:
OK fine if you dont think so ... maybe then you're not so hot anymore ...
Oh no ... here comes the shot gun ...
Cool.
Srinath.
:lol:
I went out with a girl for almost 2 years and we were engaged. We took about a month break because she said she needed some space. We got back together for a couple of months and just when things got back to normal she did it again, but this time she cheated on me. :guns: She broke my heart again!
Her sister called me the next day to talk.
That night ......... her sister....... EXs' bed, floor, and cedar chest. :o
Whenever I see her I smile and say "hi" and think of her sister.
I am now happily married(not the sister or EX) going on 8 years on 8-16 with 2 kids and I would not change a thing. Other than picking up all of those polaroids except the one that was left on her pillow.
The worst thing is one time i was dating this girl who went off to collage. That was cool untill she thought she was better than me. So I ditched her and found who is now my wife but anyway like 2 months after I left the ex I come home (I was still living with the rents) and shes in the house having coffee with my mom, needless to say I went Ballistic on that :guns: But now from what I hear she ugly and fat now but she still has that collage degree.
Joe
I started dating my wife back in my senior year of high school (10 years ago). After about 2.5 years in we broke up for approximately a year and a half, during which time I was relegated to the status of booty call whenever she came to visit Cleveland -- these were our college years, and she wanted to date around a bit. I was heartbroken, and the experience made me bitter - it didn't help that less than a week after she'd dumped me she was shacking up with the guy in the apartment next to hers at OU.
My emotions in my youth were far more intense and difficult to deal with, and I blame that on hormones and inexperience. Still, that breakup remains a sore spot with me, and my wife and I tease each other about it mercilessly. I still call her the BJ queen of Ohio University every now and then :)
I wound up sowing my wild oats among several different girlfriends, but I never really fell in love with any of them. Cara (my wife) kept in touch - figuratively, and literally, about every month or so - and when she was making plans to attend UGA for her Master's, I decided to bail on Ohio and move down to Georgia with her to start over again. It was a terribly risky move, but it paid off. We've been together ever since. That being said, I wish that she had not made the monthly booty calls while we were broken up. Even though I was not in exclusive relationships with any of the girls I was dating, I felt guilty about shagging the ex behind their backs. It also kept me from getting emotionally involved with any of them beyond a very basic level as well. Probably why I didn't date any of them for more than a few weeks.
Enough of the semi-maudlin crap -- I do have one crazy ex-gf story. Before I dated Cara, I had an on-again-off-again relationship with a girl two years my junior in highschool. Very hot and heavy, mostly physical attraction. We never had sex though, just everything shy of it. We broke up early in my senior year, and I started dating Cara not long after.
During winter break my freshman year in college, I got a call from the ex's father; he was raging about me dishonoring his daughter, shirking my responsibilities, etc. etc. After a few confused minutes, I came to find out that she'd gotten pregnant and had told her folks I was the father. After we broke up, she'd starting rebelling against her folks (she was pretty straight-laced, valedictorian of her class, cheerleader, etc.) by hanging out with the "wrong" crowd, drinking and smoking a lot of weed, etc. She'd also slept around a bit with friends and coworkers, and one of those coworkers had knocked her up. Since I was the only recent boyfriend she'd had that her parents liked, she said it was me, trying to deflect some of their anger. I had to go over to her house and call her out in front of her folks to find all of this out. I'd gone more than a year without thinking about her at all, and then this! Just when I thought I was out, she pulled me back in...
yeha thats bad Im glad I didnt go thru that. But it is good you got to show her for the person she really was
Joe
Not to rehash a REALLLY OLD POST!!!
But here I am again, another recent ex girlfriend and now she is trying to hang out with my social circle. Its making me not want to see my friends, bull crap! Anyway, reading back through this post from years ago there is SO MUCH WISDOM on this board!
Beer makes all better.
-Ash
How does one date others while still living with their ex? A bit of background info, I moved in with my ex a year ago because it was convenient, and renewed my lease back in April. We broke up at the end of August after 18 months, and I'm stuck here for another year (broke college student, can't afford to move out and get a new pad at the moment). I screwed up by moving in, didn't I?
Quote from: k.rollin on September 10, 2010, 02:52:40 AM
How does one date others while still living with their ex? A bit of background info, I moved in with my ex a year ago because it was convenient, and renewed my lease back in April. We broke up at the end of August after 18 months, and I'm stuck here for another year (broke college student, can't afford to move out and get a new pad at the moment). I screwed up by moving in, didn't I?
Don't mention the fact that she is an ex girlfriend.... duh, she is now just another room mate, bring all the poontang home that you want.
Quote from: bettingpython on September 10, 2010, 09:13:24 AM
Quote from: k.rollin on September 10, 2010, 02:52:40 AM
How does one date others while still living with their ex? A bit of background info, I moved in with my ex a year ago because it was convenient, and renewed my lease back in April. We broke up at the end of August after 18 months, and I'm stuck here for another year (broke college student, can't afford to move out and get a new pad at the moment). I screwed up by moving in, didn't I?
Don't mention the fact that she is an ex girlfriend.... duh, she is now just another room mate, bring all the poontang home that you want.
And if it doesnt work out with the one you bring home maybe the ex will get jealous and want another ride on the old bologna pony!
I have a stupid ex problem now. Me and my ex are still good friends in the same circle of friends. Every year me, the ex and our friends would go apple picking (its not that ghey). We did it before we dated, during and have continued after. Now she wants to bring her tool of a BF. Now im not calling him a tool just because she is my ex, he really in. Hes a security guard, lift weights, loves trucks and pops the collar of his polo at clubs. You know the type...... I refuse to go near him because i will probably end up insulting him too many times to count but im guessing hes too dumb to even get it.
Quote from: Twism86 on September 10, 2010, 10:05:35 AM
And if it doesnt work out with the one you bring home maybe the ex will get jealous and want another ride on the old bologna pony!
:laugh: That's hilarious!
(http://filmjournal.net/danielstephens/files/2007/05/return_of_the_living_dead1.jpg)
(http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/2/6/128784270049646431.jpg)
(http://www.myebaypages.com/zombie/images/incaseofzombies1_large.jpg)
(http://www.fearwerx.com/images/ZombieHunterZERO.jpg)
Michael
Shes gonna see the oh face... OHHH OOHHHHH OHHHHHHH OOHHHHHH