Jackass - An individual, who on their last fill up at the gas station forgets to swap from "RES" back to "FUEL" position. This results in a sputter sputter "OH shaZam!" scenario.
See also: your mirror? :)
Quote from: Egaeus on April 20, 2006, 03:40:57 PM
See also: your mirror? :)
yes, for the abridged edition
That qualifies. But so does a variety of other things.
- When you forget to put the kickstand down and get off the bike and the bike tips over (yup, I've done that)
- When you accidently miss the shift from 1st to 2nd and instead rev in neutral. This is usually when hot girls, co-workers, or your friends are around (yup, I've done that..)
- Trying to check the oil with the engine running (yup, I've done that...)
- Trying to lube the chain "conveyor belt style" with the bike on the center stand and giving it some throttle.....NOPE, haven't done that :thumb:
- Forget to set Petcock back - Done it :thumb:
- Forget kickstand and nearly drop the bike - Not yet... But, I almost did O0
- Miss 2nd and rev in neutral. - Too many times. :oops:
- Check oil with the engine running - I thought about it... Almost did it... Haven't yet. :icon_mrgreen:
- Lube the chain "conveyor belt style" - Never done it :nono:
I've done all these:
- Forgot to screw the dipstick back in and rode off with it loose.
- Tried to ride off with the kickstand down, shifted into first and killed the bike (in front of people).
- Rode around with my turn signal on for 20 minutes.
- Miss the footpeg when mounting the bike, hit the shifter (shifting into 1st) causing the bike to lurch, and fight to keep it up (in front of people).
- Tried to hit the brights switch and hit the engine shut off.
- Tried to hit the horn and hit the starter switch.
I haven't done this one, but I know a few people here have:
- Tried to ride off with a disc lock in place
Quote from: RVertigo on April 20, 2006, 04:57:25 PM
- Forget to set Petcock back - Done it :thumb:
Close. I was doing float height check and pulled the hose off withouth closing the fuel drain. Needless to say it was in front of someone. :thumb:
Quote from: RVertigo on April 20, 2006, 04:57:25 PM
- Forget kickstand and nearly drop the bike - Not yet... But, I almost did O0
Almost done as well. :icon_rolleyes:
Quote from: RVertigo on April 20, 2006, 04:57:25 PM
- Miss 2nd and rev in neutral. - Too many times. :oops:
+1 :oops:
Quote from: RVertigo on April 20, 2006, 04:57:25 PM
- Lube the chain "conveyor belt style" - Never done it :nono:
Hell yea! Did that today! :nono:
Other stunts include but not limited to...
-Moving my bike by walking beside it with clutch pulled in. Went to make a right turn. Bike ended up leaning away from me forcing me to lose it and gently drop it. It nearly scratched neighbors corvette on the way down. Other neighbor outside watched it happen. Of course I told him I didn't need help and acted like I totally meant to do it. :cheers:
-Breaking exhuast bolt off in header.
Hehe :thumb:. I have no reserve :) no more screen in the tank.. so I just have to watch it :)
Ahh yes, the LLT (lazy left toe). Last week I was partaking in some "spirited riding" with a friend. Hard throttle input + missing second and hitting neutral = (around) 12,000 RPM
I hope to never hear that sound again. Buuuuuuuut I probably will cause I always hit neutral.
-Turd.
Quote from: RVertigo on April 20, 2006, 04:57:25 PM
- Tried to hit the horn and hit the starter switch.
I dunno about that one, but I've definitely gone to turn off my turn signal and hit the horn more than a few times.
You can add me to the list of people who have shifted to neutral instead of 2nd and given it a good rev :oops:. I have also hit the horn a few times when turning off the indicators :oops:. I haven't managed to pass any of the other 'Jackass" tests yet ;).
I have forgotten disk lock couple of times. And one time i rode off... well at least couple of meters, then the front wheel locking up and me laying down the bike (in front of ppl). Very embarasing, and now i always have this feeling that the bike will drop again when starting off, even if i have taken the disk lock off.
My tip for disk lock users: mount it as close to the back, as possible, That way if you start going straight with lock on, you dont accumulate enough speed to get scary results. Going backwards when front locks up is not as bad.
Tragic: But you know you have about a mile left in her, right? Put the petcock in PRIme, lean her over hard to the left, and that may allow you to limp inot the next gas station.
I forgot to put the kickstand down at a bike dealer. I was looking at a brand new 650R in front of a dealer. I get off and almost dropped the damn thing on a row of ZX10R's. That. . . was so scary.
d3
uhm.
wow.
LMAO :laugh:
I've had nothing that extreme, besides dropping the bike at an intersection as a noob.
My little jackass move is the F**king Horn. I always seem to press it at the wrong moment.
it makes me look like an impatient A**hole.
I do that, and then usually look over my shoulder with a
"Alright, who's the @$$hole?" kinda expression
4f
Being a noob myself, my biggest problem is starting when there are people are around. I have no problem taking when no one is around, I can do it all day long all nice and smooth and what not, but as soon as there are people watching me, I screw up. I'll stall it, which isn't too bad, or be really jerky and look like a total idiot. I know this is just a learning process and I'm getting better, but it sure is embarrassing.
Yup, blew the horn at a few people trying to cancel my turn signal. I think I've permanently embarrassed myself out of ever doing that again.
And oh yeah, I forget to put the kickstand down and almost drop it about once a day. Like wow I'm dumb. I haven't dropped it doing that yet, I've either caught it on its way down or a few times had someone will kindly remind me to put my kickstand down. Sometimes I think if I were a chick I would be blonde
Quote from: Wrecent_Wryder on April 21, 2006, 10:10:50 AMI haven't tried the "cruiser" bar
It really depends on the people and the bar... I got some pretty dirty looks when I parked my GS right next to some $30K+ chopper... :laugh: I'm REALLY glad it didn't fall or anything... That would have been a long walk home with two broken legs. :laugh:
I got some dirty looks from the chaps-wearing crowd too... My helmet is CLEARLY not a cruiser guy's lid. :flipoff:
Switching between bimmers and japanese bikes can be a pain in the neck. Turn indicators and horn are in different places. Honking instead of blinking = not good.
Also the BMW system with turn indicator switches on each handle seems like a good idea, until you try it out. Operating turn idicators with throttle hand = not good.
Oh yah, another good one I did just recently was trying to adjust my idle with bare hands (no tools) after the engine was hot (rode about 20 minutes home from work). Yup, that was dumb. :icon_rolleyes:
After getting bit, I decide to use some pliers. Worked a lot better anyways :icon_razz:
Quote from: Phaedrus on April 22, 2006, 08:08:22 PM
Oh yah, another good one I did just recently was trying to adjust my idle with bare hands (no tools) after the engine was hot (rode about 20 minutes home from work). Yup, that was dumb. :icon_rolleyes:
After getting bit, I decide to use some pliers. Worked a lot better anyways :icon_razz:
Do you mean your idle screw? that huge wheel thing sticking out at the bottom of the carb? I've never had any issues with that thing... and I had to play with it lots before I did the rejet to adjust it to the daily riding conditions.
The only problem I can imagine is possibly burning yourself... but that wouldn't happen if you were wearing proper riding gloves now would it? Cause you wear proper riding gloves that would protect your hands if ever you took a dive... all the time right? :icon_lol:
No, I don't wear riding gloves all the time. Only when I am riding. :icon_razz: Are you one of those guys that walk around in your gear even when you are not riding the bike, just to look cool? Haha, I know guys like that.
And if I didn't wear gloves, it is unlikely that would be your concern ;)
i play with mine sometimes with no gloves. never got burnt. just watch where u put ur hand!
Quote from: Phaedrus on April 23, 2006, 08:20:13 AM
No, I don't wear riding gloves all the time. Only when I am riding. :icon_razz: Are you one of those guys that walk around in your gear even when you are not riding the bike, just to look cool? Haha, I know guys like that.
And if I didn't wear gloves, it is unlikely that would be your concern ;)
Umm no I don't walk around in my gear... I usually run and make bike noises :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
What the hell does that have to do with wearin proper gear and PROTECTING yourself while you are riding? For a long distance or not, being on the bike is being on the bike - you can get taken out by a cager just as much on a one minute ride from work as you can on a day long ride. Wait a minute... are you one of those invincible guys who is 'too cool' to wear gear? :laugh: :thumb:
Regardless, if you don't want to wear proper gear, that's up to you. But just don't come whining on this board, looking for sympathy, when you take a fall and you have to go thru the painful process of skin graphs...
Quote from: joedude on April 23, 2006, 04:56:09 PM
Quote from: Phaedrus on April 23, 2006, 08:20:13 AM
No, I don't wear riding gloves all the time. Only when I am riding. :icon_razz: Are you one of those guys that walk around in your gear even when you are not riding the bike, just to look cool? Haha, I know guys like that.
And if I didn't wear gloves, it is unlikely that would be your concern ;)
Umm no I don't walk around in my gear... I usually run and make bike noises :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
What the hell does that have to do with wearin proper gear and PROTECTING yourself while you are riding? For a long distance or not, being on the bike is being on the bike - you can get taken out by a cager just as much on a one minute ride from work as you can on a day long ride. Wait a minute... are you one of those invincible guys who is 'too cool' to wear gear? :laugh: :thumb:
Regardless, if you don't want to wear proper gear, that's up to you. But just don't come whining on this board, looking for sympathy, when you take a fall and you have to go thru the painful process of skin graphs...
I think he was saying he DOES wear riding gloves, but only when he's actually riding, not just servicing the bike.
Quote from: 2005-GS500-PDX on April 23, 2006, 05:21:57 PM
I think he was saying he DOES wear riding gloves, but only when he's actually riding, not just servicing the bike.
I'd have to agree with PDX on this one. I would assume Phaedrus was messing with the idle after he finished the 20 minute ride, got off the bike, and at least took his helmet off. Maybe its just me, but it's a pain in the ass to get my helmet off when I still have my gloves on...
yeah well he shoulda been wearing his mechanix gloves to protect him from cuts, busted knuckles, burns, and oh so aweful dirty finger nails!
Quote from: 2005-GS500-PDX on April 23, 2006, 06:08:11 PM
Quote from: joedude on April 23, 2006, 06:01:28 PM
Quote from: Phaedrus on April 22, 2006, 08:08:22 PM
rode about 20 minutes home from work
Wanna fight about it? ;)
Let's do it :2guns:
:icon_lol:
Que the music... (http://home.no.net/birgif/glis/Singing_-or_carefree-_emoticon.gif) "why can't we be friends... why can't we be friends?"
:kiss3:
Sorry dude, misunderstanding, thought you meant that you adjusted your idle while riding and you weren't wearing gloves.
Wow, all these posts over basically horseshit :icon_razz:
Let's clarify. I rode about 20 minutes home from work - helmet, riding jacket, riding gloves, and over-the-ankle leather boots. I took the gear off when I pulled in the driveway and left the bike running, per the instructions on how to adjust idle. I find it hard to maneauver around wearing several pounds of gear. I have to take the gloves off in order to manipulate anything. Hell, I have a hard time handling the key to put it in the ignition or snapping/unsnapping my helmet strap with gloves on, letalone fiddling with an idle adjustment screw. :icon_rolleyes: It's like playing piano with mittens on.
And I wasn't looking for sympathy or any of that other crap. Just participating in a thread listing some of the jackass things we've all done. I guess some of y'all are just perfect and don't do things like that ;)
sooo.... what you're saying is.... that you were wearing gloves... on one hand??? :flipoff:
Quote from: Phaedrus on April 23, 2006, 09:35:24 PM
Wow, all these posts over basically horseshit :icon_razz:
Let's clarify. I rode about 20 minutes home from work - helmet, riding jacket, riding gloves, and over-the-ankle leather boots. I took the gear off when I pulled in the driveway and left the bike running, per the instructions on how to adjust idle. I find it hard to maneauver around wearing several pounds of gear. I have to take the gloves off in order to manipulate anything. Hell, I have a hard time handling the key to put it in the ignition or snapping/unsnapping my helmet strap with gloves on, letalone fiddling with an idle adjustment screw. :icon_rolleyes: It's like playing piano with mittens on.
And I wasn't looking for sympathy or any of that other crap. Just participating in a thread listing some of the jackass things we've all done. I guess some of y'all are just perfect and don't do things like that ;)
Good god man... I just posted an apology, saying that I misunderstood the post... Cry me a freakin river! :cry: :cry: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Thank you Gentlemen.
for Defining JACKASS. you did an impecable job with the last few post.
please feel free to jump in the bath with toaster. :thumb:
Quote from: Phaedrus on April 23, 2006, 09:35:24 PM
Let's clarify. I rode about 20 minutes home from work - helmet, riding jacket, riding gloves, and over-the-ankle leather boots.
What, no pants? :laugh:
Quote from: aaronstj on April 24, 2006, 10:33:14 AM
Quote from: Phaedrus on April 23, 2006, 09:35:24 PM
Let's clarify. I rode about 20 minutes home from work - helmet, riding jacket, riding gloves, and over-the-ankle leather boots.
What, no pants? :laugh:
heh heh thats kinda kinky!
you'd be flappin away :laugh:
Quote from: 3imo on April 24, 2006, 06:07:57 AM
Thank you Gentlemen.
for Defining JACKASS. you did an impecable job with the last few post.
please feel free to jump in the bath with toaster. :thumb:
Wasn't that the whole point of the thread??? :icon_twisted: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :icon_rolleyes:
x
I left my key in the ignition all weekend.
Turned my appt upside down looking for my bike key after servicing it... turns out I forgot it in the seat release!
I tend to forget it there alot... :cookoo:
yesterday, I parked the bike in the grass.
well, It had rained the other night, I guess that patch of grass didn't get much sun.
I don't notice anything. except the dozen people looking at me and laughing there asses off.
I turn around and the bike is at a 3 degree lean off the ground. The tank was barely 6 inches off the ground.
**JAckass :oops:
went to dismount yesterday on my lunch break...
Kicked the stand down and went to lean her over... well, apparently, when you kick the stand, and it springs back up without you noticing...
that creates another "Oh shaZam!" scenario... of omg I don't wanna drop this thing in my driveway
I dropped my bike loading it onto the truck by myself for the first time. The front end was hanging on the tailgate. After working to get it off without damage, and picking the bike up, I relaxed....and dropped my bike.
Quote from: Wrecent_Wryder on April 21, 2006, 08:03:18 AM
Ok, I'll own up to this. I did this when I had about 150 miles under my belt, total... I think I was blocking the memory...
Put yourself in my place, brand new rider... you're at the furthest point you've dared to venture to so far, traffic is suddenly a lot denser than you were prepared for, and you're getting nervous. Cars everywhere, stoplights, honking, complex patterns, and you're starting to feel like you're over your head, getting a little flustered.
You pull into the parking lot of your destination. There's a grocery store (target of this particular mission), a cafe, and a bunch of stores around it. It's a nice day, and people are eating at tables outside the cafe. There's a car wash, and right ouside that there are young folks clustered around sports bikes- practically the first you've encounted while riding. You feel very conspicuous.
You manage to navigate through stop-and-go near gridlock to an empty parking slot, get the bike shut down and on the stand without mishap. Take a few deep breaths, try to ignore the sports bike crowd and the attractive ladies at the cafe, lock helmet to bike, stow gloves, and force yourself to casually saunter into the store.
Coming out, the traffic in the parking lot is even worse, not looking forward to that. Glance over the ladies at the cafe again, then the sport-bike crowd. Try not to look self-conscious, just get out of there. Stow the purchase, pull the helmet on by the straps as usual...
... and in a sudden moment of panic in the dark, realize you've put the helmet on backwards.
Yank it off and flip it almost instantly. Ok, I don't think anyone was looking at that second. At least, I didn't see anyone pointing and hooting, no one staring, and there was a lot else going on to look at. I didn't hang around, though, just tried to leave without looking like I had my tail between my legs...
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
Hold on, need to take a breath.....
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I only laugh so hard because I've done stupid stuff too. I know the feeling.
My trick was panicking in a U-turn and grabbing a fistful of front brake, I didn't drop it but I sure came close.
Allow me to add a new one.....
Sitting at a stop light, between cars (cause you can cut lanes in California), listening to my MP3 Player....
I managed to shut my bike off without me knowing (Kill switch), probably when I stood up, as I usually do....
so when the light went green, I couldn't figure out for the life of me WTF was going on....
Hi, my name is Tool..... Nice to meet you all.