Liberal=accepted "new" meaning of Democrat Freak Party
Conservative=Republican and/or surely Southern
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge
knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at
you. You are carrying a <insert favorite high-cap handgun here>, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
................................................................
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done
anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want
to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier
street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
...............................................................
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
................................................................
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click................(sounds of reloading.)
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
Oh here we go... :dunno_white:
x
What's a respectable Southern Republican doing with a 18 round, probably 9mm baby handgun. Shouldn't it be just 6 or 7 .45 ACP rounds??? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
x
Well I thought it was funny :laugh:
Yep, because all of us liberals are totally incapable of perceiving a threat.
x
I kinda like this one:
Q: How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative?
A: Watch a man drowning fifty feet offshore.
- The conservative will throw out 25 feet of rope and shout "swim for it!"
- The liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope, drop his own end, and go off to do another good deed.
A little poke at both.
See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:
1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.
If a person is actually being attacked, liberal or conservative, I guarantee they'll fight back. But your typical conservative can't tell the difference between an actual, ongoing attack and the threat of attack in the future. They're so paranoid, they just believe they're actually being attacked all the time, and lash out at anyone that looks, acts, or thinks different. Because they can't adapt to different situations, they almost almost choose the wrong course of action.
2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint
You're and Iraqi citzen walking down a Fallujah street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an American Soldiert with and mM16 comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises his gun, and charges at
you. You are carrying an AK-47, and you are an expert shot.
3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution
A fine exemple of conservative thinking. The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists. It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts. Nope. We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.
Quote from: aaronstj on August 18, 2006, 11:19:48 AM
See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:
1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.
2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint
3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution
A fine exemple of conservative thinking. The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists. It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts. Nope. We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.
+1 This is absolutely right on, but I don't feel like getting all serious right now, though, so I'll post a couple more jokes. :thumb:
Like this little ghey dancing pink repu... err... elephant. (http://www.perspectives.com/forums/themes/default/animal-smiley-040.gif)
Quote from: CirclesCenter on August 18, 2006, 10:45:47 AM
Yep, because all of us liberals are totally incapable of perceiving a threat.
And that doesn't seem like a J/K? Okay maybe a barbed one but still a joke....
Good one Wilson.
:laugh:
:cheers:
Quote from: aaronstj on August 18, 2006, 11:19:48 AM
See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:
1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.
If a person is actually being attacked, liberal or conservative, I guarantee they'll fight back. But your typical conservative can't tell the difference between an actual, ongoing attack and the threat of attack in the future. They're so paranoid, they just believe they're actually being attacked all the time, and lash out at anyone that looks, acts, or thinks different. Because they can't adapt to different situations, they almost almost choose the wrong course of action.
2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint
You're and Iraqi citzen walking down a Fallujah street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an American Soldiert with and mM16 comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises his gun, and charges at
you. You are carrying an AK-47, and you are an expert shot.
3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution
A fine exemple of conservative thinking. The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists. It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts. Nope. We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.
:bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs:
Nice twist on reality though...
x
You know it was a joke. I know it was a joke. Just because a majority of people would probably know it's a joke doesn't mean it wont offend someone, though, and there's nothing wrong with that. :dunno_white:
Allah means God in Arabic. Its misleading that news outlets and editorial writers choose to use Allah instead of God. After all, they translated everything else the speaker said. When an editorial writer (or in this case a joke writer) writes Allah instead of God in an English sentence it creates an aritifical separation between language speakers.
Quote from: aaronstj on August 18, 2006, 11:19:48 AM
See, this demonstrates three rather problematic apsects of typical conservative thinking:
1) The inability to understand the actual scale of a problem.
If a person is actually being attacked, liberal or conservative, I guarantee they'll fight back. But your typical conservative can't tell the difference between an actual, ongoing attack and the threat of attack in the future. They're so paranoid, they just believe they're actually being attacked all the time, and lash out at anyone that looks, acts, or thinks different. Because they can't adapt to different situations, they almost almost choose the wrong course of action.
2) The inability to look at things from another person's veiwpoint
You're and Iraqi citzen walking down a Fallujah street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an American Soldiert with and mM16 comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises his gun, and charges at
you. You are carrying an AK-47, and you are an expert shot.
3) The inability to treat the cause rather than the solution
A fine exemple of conservative thinking. The best way to stop problems like terroism, in the conservative mind, is to just kill terrorists. It's not even worth considering changing our foreign policies, looking for the root causes or terrorism (being brown, they figure, is probably the cause), and fighting terrorism intelligently on all fronts. Nope. We're just gonna keep killing them brown folk until there's no more terrorists.
Most people can see that OMW is joking in his post. It's obviously intended as humor. Aaron's is just a humorless meanspirited attack.
I say to all peoples of the Earth regardless of Creed and such:
:P
I should just post up some Republican jokes and get this thing thrown in the tard farm. :thumb:
DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT
Quote from: Ed_in_Az on August 18, 2006, 01:29:57 PM
Most people can see that OMW is joking in his post. It's obviously intended as humor. Aaron's is just a humorless meanspirited attack.
I dunno. I thought my post was at least a little funny.
And, sure, I know OMW is joking. It's pretty obvious it's a "ha ha, only serious," kind of joke, though. And if you two are so open minded, what's the problem with an opposing viewpoint?
Yeah that's the problem with having a liberal viewpoint, you can't just toss hand grenades without negating your view. That doesn't stop my occassional murdering rampage though.
(http://ec3.images-amazon.com/images/P/1595550062.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1109896254_.jpg) :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
LOL...
i'm waiting for the day savage gets caught doped up on some painkillers.
bloody lunatics....
Mr. Savage has made some very interesting observations. He is a great patriot, however, I think he needs to do more research. He is tilted a tiny bit to the left for my tastes. And Rush Linbaugh "IS" too liberal.
Sometimes I wonder just WHO he is really representing.
Did you just say limbaugh and savage are liberals?
:icon_rolleyes:
no comment
The only thing those two are Are Crazy lol
x
Hey Tad................no...............I haven't been "Hanitized" yet. Hahahahahah.
Sean does a good job but I feel that he doesn't "GET DOWN" and I mean
drop the SLEDGE HAMMER on those that need it! :)
Went out into the swamps this morning with wife and cut some cypress knees.
That is WORK and it was HOT oh dear God it was hot. It was truly a jungle.
Everything we had on was dripping with sweat down to the underwear and socks.
And you KNOW the mosquitoes and bugs will carry your ass off. We sprayed well
before we "went in". She just walked around and pointed and I knelt down and used a bow saw.
Great being married! hahahahahah. I cut about 15 or so. Bless her heart, she is doing some
kind of damned artwork with them. Later, Wilson
Banner.........crazy they may be..........but stupid they are not. They just don't go anywhere
nearly............."far enough". They need to come out here with me (about 10 yards to the right
of Genghis Khan) on the lunatic fringe and tell the people all the truths that will scare the
living Hell out of them. Here's what Wilson wants. Wilson wants the Government to STOP
taking taxes out of your check. Wilson wants YOU to have to write a check EVERY MONTH
to the Government. THEN and ONLY then will you realize what you are giving them.
If you don't, then you go to prison. Then if you have any semblance of sense whatsoever,
you will DEMAND to KNOW WHERE IT IS GOING. This will be the rub. "THEY" don't ever want this
to happen. It would certainly lead to them being dragged from their homes at 2:30 in the morning, stripped naked, and hung from the nearest lamp post. Of course "their replacement"
needs to see all of this happening. Love, Wilson
x
heh something has to pay for the idiotic spending that the govt does rofl
NO..................you mean "SOMEONE"............... let's all get sick and f_ucking tired of it...........together....
You have it backwards Mr. Wilson. Savage leans to the right and Limbaugh is definately conservative, borderline libertarian.
-Anti 8)
Anti..................Savage and Linbaugh may be to the right of "you"................not of me..........
neither are nowhere NEARLY................Conservative..........
ok, so you must be the furthest to the right in the United states of America. What do you consider yourself? Rush is very very conservative compared to 75% of this nation. This obviously isn't a real number, I am just making a point. I am conservative as well, so I am not swinging from the liberal chandoleer of ignorance. (I am goofing, it's ok, Dems.) ;)
-Anti 8)
Yes, I profess to be. I am on the lunatic fringe of the right. Never made ANY pretense about it!
AND..........Rush is not NEARLY Conservative ENOUGH!!!! In fact........he is quite a p_ussy about
some issues. And you are right about your pretentious numbers (and admitting they are pretentious). There are a LOT more conservatives than you'd imagine. They are growing. There is a reason.
Gotta go to bed. 5 comes early.
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say Savage was too far to the left before... Sometimes I get the feeling some things he says are a bit curbed though, as if he's been told to watch it on a few topics
I must say, you're idea for paying taxes is one of the best ideas I've heard in a long time... It would really help enlighten voters to stop electing politicians who only care about supporting their pork barrel and favorite interest groups
I think the only thing that Wilson, Ed & I agree on as far as politics is that politicians need to take pay cuts and so do their campaigns. :cheers:
Amen^
I cringe everything i see them say 1 billion is missing unaccounted for. How could you lose 1 billion???
Or even worse...we just sent 1 billion over to israel to kill more civilians and piss off more people. Nice
Quote from: Old Mr. Wilson on August 18, 2006, 09:25:14 AMLiberal=A word that I don't understand
Conservative=No longer exists in the Republican Party.
TO THE FARM WITH YOU!!!