Subject: My grandson in a few years
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in third-grade too!"
The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal
what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy
a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to
the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the
conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader
should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry
can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let ME ask him
some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Harry: "Legs".
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets".
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants".
Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer....)
Harry: "Coconut".
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum".
Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"
(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands".
Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yup".
Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do."
Harry: "Tent".
Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first."
(Principal was looking restless and a bit tense)
Harry: "Wedding Ring".
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,
you feel good."
Harry: "Nose".
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Harry: "Arrow".
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of
excitement?"
Harry: "Fire truck".
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass
in the FIFTH-grade, I got the last dozen questions wrong myself."
Let me guess, you've been telling this one since they kicked you out of fifth grade (thank goodness the right to public education ends at 21--I just pity that poor fifth grade teacher who had to see your face again, and again, and again....) :thumb:
Chilly Willy.........I ain't been done done yew no harm. Why is yore pee pee hard fer me tonite?
I needs to git to bed. We gonna git up early..........gotta change the tires on the house tomorrow.
Just another one of those "Hollywood Jews" gunning for your ass, sweet cheeks! :kiss3:
Quote from: Old Mr. Wilson on September 23, 2006, 08:41:05 PM
Chilly Willy.........I ain't been done done yew no harm. Why is yore pee pee hard fer me tonite?
I needs to git to bed. We gonna git up early..........gotta change the tires on the house tomorrow.
:laugh:
Oh and the joke was funy too
:laugh:
Quote from: blue05twin on September 23, 2006, 08:51:02 PM
Quote from: Old Mr. Wilson on September 23, 2006, 08:41:05 PM
Chilly Willy.........I ain't been done done yew no harm. Why is yore pee pee hard fer me tonite?
I needs to git to bed. We gonna git up early..........gotta change the tires on the house tomorrow.
:laugh:
Oh and the joke was funy too
actually the joke WAS funny imho
x
and deliver said opinions differently
Well I thought it was funny, s'pose we'er off to the farm then.......
aye joke was hilarious, cal, actually i like omw in a way, perhaps i might disagree how he delivers his iopinions, but ehy each person is there own person not anyone elses :thumb:
Atta boy!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: TadMC on September 24, 2006, 12:00:34 AM
No offence to you North Western sensitivitites (not a real word) but jebus christ, yall need to f%$king lighten up. The United States has several different opinions in it. No I know you think everyone should think and act like you, but unfortunately thats not the way the real world f%$king works... You guys need to f%$king chill out about what OMW says, hes never insulted anyone on this board (that i know of) IN fact hes a relitively nice guy. A lot less judgemental than a few of you.
OMW has a point with the money grubbing bastards in Hollywood movie studios. They do alot that is stereotypical jewness... what's a stereotypical jew.. some one who pinches pennies, some one who would sell his sole to make a nother buck.. OMW isnt saying anything bad about jews, hes saying they are acting like stereotypical jews..... Do you guys find the term WIGGA' insulting and offencive although the term refers to the stereotypical NIGGA.... come on.. you pick need to pick your battles better and f%$k with someone that really is mean spirited... Because OMW isnt a mean guy... SOME TIMES PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS THAN YOU... GET f%$kING USED TO IT
You haven't been hanging out in the TF much, have you. Try the White and Nerdy thread
Quote from: TadMC on September 24, 2006, 12:00:34 AM
No offence to you North Western sensitivitites (not a real word) but jebus christ, yall need to f%$king lighten up. The United States has several different opinions in it. No I know you think everyone should think and act like you, but unfortunately thats not the way the real world f%$king works... You guys need to f%$king chill out about what OMW says, hes never insulted anyone on this board (that i know of) IN fact hes a relitively nice guy. A lot less judgemental than a few of you.
OMW has a point with the money grubbing bastards in Hollywood movie studios. They do alot that is stereotypical jewness... what's a stereotypical jew.. some one who pinches pennies, some one who would sell his sole to make a nother buck.. OMW isnt saying anything bad about jews, hes saying they are acting like stereotypical jews..... Do you guys find the term WIGGA' insulting and offencive although the term refers to the stereotypical NIGGA.... come on.. you pick need to pick your battles better and f%$k with someone that really is mean spirited... Because OMW isnt a mean guy... SOME TIMES PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS THAN YOU... GET f%$kING USED TO IT
You're kidding, right? If so, that was funny.
I'm not sure where OMW's starting post turned into a racial/ethnic/political discussion. :dunno_white:
In this case, he delivered the perfect joke, there is nothing overtly offensive about it. It is offensive only in what filth is in your own mind.
Personally I haven't seen one this good in a long time. :icon_twisted:
If you have an issue with OMW's opinions, raise hell when he expresses them, he does it often enough.
In this case, it's a good joke that hurts no one. Enjoy it for what it is. Maybe you'll enjoy life a bit more.