my wife showed me this actually. found it on myspace she said. :laugh:
This was written by some guy... it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.lol
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that Buddha Loves You knows I'm smarter than her.
:laugh: i've read that before.
jserio i actually tried that on my ex . ( i got cut off for aq month) :mad: :laugh: :laugh:
The reason it works on men is cos women do put out ... if the stars are aligned right and the right kind of earthquake is on ... yea ... if you've never bought her clothes, shoes, jewelry etc at the Unamed department store, it is likely to evoke suspicion looooong before you ever get to the store.
However there is a 100 things you can do that work almost as well, or even better than this.
Find out what your girl loooooves - chocolate is usually a good starting point ... but the more exotic and hard to find ... the better. Then remember this, you find the best buy it, and should be able to hide/hold the secrets to what and where ... and you should be able to resist it - cant hide it while you are scarfing it down. BTW she likes chocolate that is literally black as tar. It doesn't melt in your mouth, it chunks and crumbles in your mouth. You break in 1 place it to eat it, it will feel like a slab pf concrete and it will break in 10 just from your force. This works so well in my case, I dont like chocolate, and I have a good eye for finding very good and exotic chocolate, and best of all, I can tell which is good and which she would like almost from smelling it ... easy.
She also likes coffee, and some other stuff which all I can find far better than any one else on the damn planet. Everyone has buttons, you just find them and use them.
Cool.
Srinath.
Guys:
My guy was a cheapskate, totally a cheap bastard, everything was all about him. He'd been married but was single with a few shorter relationships for 15 years from his divorce when I met him.
What he had going was that he is kind and sensitive natured, and that he honestly wanted to change the things that weren't working. He wanted a healthy, long term relationship that worked. He never spent much on me, but he helped me pack and move a huge household worth of stuff, he pulled the oil cooler and radiator out of my F-350 front end motorhome and replaced it so I could sell it, he fixed my truck, (he helped me strip it, patch it, and paint it too), he took out the trash, he did chores around my house without me asking him, he appreciated my cooking and he wanted to spend time with me just being together. He wrenches on my GS and my bicycles so I don't have to. He used to go for walks and come back with a handful of little wildflowers (and some garden ones) and put them in a coffee cup, and he had a knack for colors, and he'd leave it on the kitchen counter or my desk. Essentially he gave of himself and does to this day. It wasn't "buy me this and you'll get that" juvenile BS for either of us. I was actually the one buying him jewelry! He said years ago he wasn't sure how to tell me how very much he loved me, so he would show me, and he has. He's truly my best friend, and often his actions make him my hero when he does something kind for someone else. For my part, I give back. I help him out. I don't buy him chocolate anymore though, he's too fussy about it!
He's no longer a cheapskate, with me or himself (I fixed that part first, that he couldn't give to himself, so how could he give to anyone else? Just by encouraging him to get a few nice things for himself, instead of buying cheap crap that broke, and making small donations to charities, he learned that he'd still have "enough" money.) He's a spiritual man and he's grown very wise though he doesn't always have much common sense, I think that's a woman's gift.
I know most of you are young guys, but you should take advantage of the fact that you can learn a lot from paying attention to older people and relationships that work. Also, men and women really are different in how they process stuff, but everyone appreciates kindness, and everyone wants to feel heard.
So yeah, chocolate is good, but maybe taking out the trash without being asked, asking if she needs anything from the store on your way home (or coming over for a visit), telling her how much you appreciated dinner, letting her hold the remote control once in a while, and listening without making your eyes glaze over a couple of times a week would get you a lot more of what you want.
Srinath is right, but it's not just about buttons. Even more important is to make it something you do because you actually care about her. If you're just using her, she'll probably know. That's a big turnoff, yeah. Unless she's just using you too, and that's just sad.
Yea yea yea, but all that takes time and effort ... so like WTF ...
Cool.
Srinath.
Or maybe WNF? :laugh:
Seriously, my guy is having inch thick ribeyes, zuchs, aaparagus, Spanish onions and potato planks off the grill for dinner, I'll yell at him in 10 to come eat. And that's just dinner.
What are you having? :icon_mrgreen:
The love you make is = to the love you take.
I hate you ... Or, him ...
However I aint doing too bad. I am having mexican take out from what I have now crowned "the best mexican food I ahve ever had". Chicken nachos supreme.
Cool.
Srinath.
Okay, Mexican food is always cool. 8)
And what's that old bumper sticker?
Something like "Don't Hate, Masturbate!" ??
Just be nice do the things that will be appreciated, I wanted a king size bed so I went and bought one long story short that has turned into a friggen whole house remodel, strip wallpaper in the bedroom and paint bedroom. New Halogen lighting...okay I hated the lighting so that was my idea. Cant put the spare bed into office till it gets painted...got to pick my office colors, then sold the full size bed :icon_lol: OK but the proceeds of the full size along with all our pocket change for the last 2 years paid for that new big screen I been wanting 42inches of high def PLasma :thumb: now onto sons bedroom....48lbs of plaster and 8hours of sanding later almost ready to paint...next week knock out hall closet and expand shower into space being used by closet so we can both shower at same time....... That ones gonna cost me 30 square feet of garage space though since I will need to exapnd closet space elsewhere, then build a storage bed platform for new king size bed in a couple of weeks. That way I can get rid of the old crappy dressers and have more floor space in the bedroom........
The list of tradeoffs can go on and on but basically I do things that need to be done she loves me and we have a great sex life.....never benn turned down yet ;)
Oh yeah she cooks and cleans and works full time too
Damn never had a problem with not getting any, and all I ever do is things that need to be done anyway, guess the writers of that joke musta been doing something wrong.
DWHA?!?! you mean liberals get some :o :o :o :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Bed
Scientific Name............
Launching pad for a Guided Muscle :laugh:
Quote from: bettingpython on February 10, 2008, 09:36:38 PM
Just be nice do the things that will be appreciated,
The list of tradeoffs can go on and on but basically I do things that need to be done she loves me and we have a great sex life.....never benn turned down yet ;)
Oh yeah she cooks and cleans and works full time too
Damn never had a problem with not getting any, and all I ever do is things that need to be done anyway, guess the writers of that joke musta been doing something wrong.
Now THAT's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!! :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:
Quote from: Jughead on February 10, 2008, 10:24:48 PM
Bed
Scientific Name............
Launching pad for a Guided Muscle :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: O0
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on February 10, 2008, 09:59:19 PM
DWHA?!?! you mean liberals get some :o :o :o :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha......
Tell that one again would you please I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling down my cheeks.
Quote from: seshadri_srinath on February 08, 2008, 06:12:42 AM
The reason it works on men is cos women do put out ... if the stars are aligned right and the right kind of earthquake is on ... yea ... if you've never bought her clothes, shoes, jewelry etc at the Unamed department store, it is likely to evoke suspicion looooong before you ever get to the store.
However there is a 100 things you can do that work almost as well, or even better than this.
Find out what your girl loooooves - chocolate is usually a good starting point ... but the more exotic and hard to find ... the better. Then remember this, you find the best buy it, and should be able to hide/hold the secrets to what and where ... and you should be able to resist it - cant hide it while you are scarfing it down. BTW she likes chocolate that is literally black as tar. It doesn't melt in your mouth, it chunks and crumbles in your mouth. You break in 1 place it to eat it, it will feel like a slab pf concrete and it will break in 10 just from your force. This works so well in my case, I dont like chocolate, and I have a good eye for finding very good and exotic chocolate, and best of all, I can tell which is good and which she would like almost from smelling it ... easy.
She also likes coffee, and some other stuff which all I can find far better than any one else on the damn planet. Everyone has buttons, you just find them and use them.
Cool.
Srinath.
this is the most i have ever seen srinath write. i can only imagine the kinky depravity with Srinath, the Srinathess and the hard to find chunks of nasty chocolate, it must be a bombay style freakshow. :icon_razz:
Quote from: bettingpython on February 11, 2008, 05:06:02 AM
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on February 10, 2008, 09:59:19 PM
DWHA?!?! you mean liberals get some :o :o :o :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha......
Tell that one again would you please I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling down my cheeks.
aye i had to take a humorous shot atcha :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :laugh: :laugh:
Dude ... evidently if you like chocolate ... its the ultimate, but it does take some getting used to ...
I like coffee black as tar and even so, I can tell between just simple road tar and like volcanic tar. Definetly somehitng you have to get used to. I started driking coffee in 1999 - I was 30 yrs old ... and in 2-3 years I figured out it has to be really good, not over roasted like stabbucks, and simply strong and loaded with character. Wifey is a life long coffee drinker but she likes it much much lighter than I do.
You better know what you're doing if you make coffee ... south Indians have coffee in their veins, ironic, I do believe I do, though for 30 years I resisted it. I have had the occassional one growing up, but I turned into a hard core tea drinker which surprisingly I still am. I make what I like faaaaar better than anyone else does, so I am not quite likely to be in the same situation as my wife.
Seriously Dark, dark dark, black as tar chocolate is where its at, and ironically I also prefer that to sicko sweet milk chocolate though I could live without either. Take away coffee though and there will be trouble.
Cool.
Srinath.
I, like you, like my chocolate (milk, dark, or bar candy) and coffee (homemade espresso), and cigarettes.
in WWII Europe stuff like this was precious.
I smell chocolates !
must be dark, full on dark chocolates, non of the milky crap
coffee must either be authentic italllllian stuff or plain old blacker than black americano junk :D
I have physical proof my wife will give it up: he's eating my cheerios and snotting on my arm....
wait ... TWICE
TWICE I SAY
me 3.0 is still encubating. unless it's a her, we'll see in right around me 2.0's birfday
other than that, no, women really don't put out after the relationship is well established (ie >2 years) :(
has anyone thought of cabbage?
Quote from: frankieG on February 13, 2008, 12:44:26 PM
has anyone thought of cabbage?
ummmmmmm buttered cabbage!!! ah dam we're back to this are we :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: frankieG on February 13, 2008, 12:44:26 PM
has anyone thought of cabbage?
I only think of cabbage when I am trying to make the love I'm getting last a bit longer :icon_mrgreen:
Quote from: scottpA_GS on February 13, 2008, 05:36:59 PM
Quote from: frankieG on February 13, 2008, 12:44:26 PM
has anyone thought of cabbage?
I only think of cabbage when I am trying to make the love I'm getting last a bit longer :icon_mrgreen:
you have to pay her with your hard earned "cabbage" for more time? :icon_razz:
NSFW , here ya go frankie, a repost (http://www.bofunk.com/video/191/chicken_dance.html)
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on February 13, 2008, 09:32:36 PM
NSFW , here ya go frankie, a repost (http://www.bofunk.com/video/191/chicken_dance.html)
lord knows we've all been there anyone says they haven't is lying. :laugh:
just soooooooooo wrong on so many levels!!! :o
Here is another beauty ...
A slutty chick wont give it up so quick with you cos she wants to wait so it'll be "special" ...
That is right up there with the "chick that is too hot to f^(k" ... AKA ... so such thang.
Cool.
Srinath.
Here is my tried and tested technique.
1st, suggest a naughty movie with a bottle of her favorite wine..............ok not working?
then perhaps an offer of money..........to "get her something nice".............
if nothing has worked by now.............use a claw hammer.........
"take it"...........
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
the guy has his gitch on and dark glasses i wonder if he is blind?
Hey I am olny 17 but i would find a new one, a woman is like a bus get off one and fifteen minutes later a new one showes up sounds bad hu If she is not giving it to you she is giving it to some one else . try taking a shower or start listining to her when she talks to you !!! do you make her sick to her stomach ? do you have a good job ?
Quote from: frankieG on February 19, 2008, 11:29:44 AM
the guy has his gitch on and dark glasses i wonder if he is blind?
err frankie, ive nothing against large women, but amybe he dont wanna see her :laugh: