You may be a redneck pilot if...
Your stall warning plays Dixie.
You get your preflight briefing from the Psychic Hotline.
Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.
You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.
Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
Your aircraft has a hitch.
You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
You refer to formation flying as 'we got us a convoy'.
You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.
You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
You use your parachute to cover your plane.
You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
Your comm antenna is over 7 feet long.
You call up the tower with 'Breaker Breaker'
You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
You use you landing light for hunting.
Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.
Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
When starting the prop you injure five dogs.
Somewhere on your airplane is an 'I'd rather be fishing' bumper sticker.
You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
You siphon Jet-A out of your King Air for your space heater.
Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, 'Hey, Y'all watch this!!'
Yeap
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on March 06, 2008, 08:56:52 PM
Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
Oh god, don't remind me.
*click* *click* *thud* *click* *WHAM!* *click*
Used to drive me nutzo. At least I dont' have to fly with him anymore...
Eh geep? elaborate a bit more? :laugh:
Well, students beat up airplanes. That's a fact. When you have a fleet of 55 or so, things are bound to happen far from home. So, about once a week with startling regularity we'd grab our crash bags, a box full of parts, and hop in whatever was available.
It never failed that I'd be stuck with Larry. He had a thing for toothpicks. You'd never see him without a toothpick in his mouth. In fact, he carried a box in his pocket where most people carry cigs. Larry didn't believe in using a foam mic cover because he liked to talk *REALLY* quiet. So, I'd have to listen to that damned toothpick hit the mic for HOURS on end.
One day, on the third leg of a flight to Canada I'd had enough. I grabbed the box out of his pocket and threw it out the window. He looked me, grinned, and pulled another box out of his pants pocket. :mad:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: GeeP on March 06, 2008, 09:47:38 PM
Well, students beat up airplanes. That's a fact. When you have a fleet of 55 or so, things are bound to happen far from home. So, about once a week with startling regularity we'd grab our crash bags, a box full of parts, and hop in whatever was available.
It never failed that I'd be stuck with Larry. He had a thing for toothpicks. You'd never see him without a toothpick in his mouth. In fact, he carried a box in his pocket where most people carry cigs. Larry didn't believe in using a foam mic cover because he liked to talk *REALLY* quiet. So, I'd have to listen to that damned toothpick hit the mic for HOURS on end.
One day, on the third leg of a flight to Canada I'd had enough. I grabbed the box out of his pocket and threw it out the window. He looked me, grinned, and pulled another box out of his pants pocket. :mad:
I was never hard on a plane when I was a student,and I'm still not.So far I've never damaged an aircraft.Lucky me. :icon_rolleyes:
You're the exception then. :thumb:
We had more than one student bounce the gear out of a C-150 doing crosswind landing practice. Burned out starters and blown exhausts were another good one. If I wanted to cause a rukus I'd prime a hot engine a couple strokes and hit the starter. BLAM! Especially fun out in front of the airport restaurant during lunch. :laugh:
I only flew a 152 once and then I moved on to a 172.I refused to fly the new 172 with fuel injection and full glass cockpit.I wanted to learn VFR with the basic 6 steam gauges,mixture control,and carb heat.Something that could be rented at most any airport.Plus I started flight training with the hopes of building a KR2S.Maybe one day.
i've always wanted to learn to fly and had the option to my senior year but i made some unwise juvenile choices and it didn't happen. now, i have neither the time or money to undertake learning to fly. :cry:
Quote from: jserio on March 07, 2008, 11:38:20 AM
i've always wanted to learn to fly and had the option to my senior year but i made some unwise juvenile choices and it didn't happen. now, i have neither the time or money to undertake learning to fly. :cry:
If you have sometime in the mornings on weekends hangout around your local FBO.Talk to the pilots and become know by name.Lend a helping hand when you can.Mainly loading/ unloading cars and aircraft.I did this on the weeks I couldn't afford to take flight training.The partners in the FBO felt my pain and offered to let me fly with them,for free.Eventually it led to me becoming an aviation line service tech and customer rep.That's fancy talk for fuel boy,aircraft prep boy,and front desk cashier.It paid the bills until the FBO lost a couple fuel contracts with Spinx.Spinx don't dabble in aviation fuels so we took care of there private jets.Speaking of private jets.I went to the Bahamas free.The owner of a King Air P90 needed a navigator and some one to help monitor systems.He could have done it himself but he was generously showing off that day.I just happen to be the lucky choice.
Lol thats funny coz' even over here in england we get hicks from America in their private jets who have hopped over to fly in England.
I got cut from the RAF during initial training - they had let too many applicants through for Pilot training and decided to up the medical standards which would disqualify people so they could cut them from the course. I got cut for having pneumonia 3 years ago and they wanted 4 years ago regardless of how many doctors opinions you had stating that it was not a sign of poor immune system etc etc... Alot of my friends on the course got cut for various other things too - were going through unfair dismissal procedures now. However i followed up my second career in air traffic control.
Currently an assistant air traffic controller at west midlands international airport here in england so we hear from American pilots all the time. Some of the things they say are just so funny, we had a guy come in Florida, he landed i instructed him to backtrack on runway 23 and vacate at echo, and requested who he was visiting today. He read back and did a 180 and said he would like to park next to a place that sell "tea" and a "bacon sarnie" we were all in stiches up in the tower it sounded so funny.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
hahah i laughed..
i wanna get back into flying.. hopefully soon!
Quote from: GeeP on March 07, 2008, 10:24:16 AM
You're the exception then. :thumb:
We had more than one student bounce the gear out of a C-150 doing crosswind landing practice. Burned out starters and blown exhausts were another good one. If I wanted to cause a rukus I'd prime a hot engine a couple strokes and hit the starter. BLAM! Especially fun out in front of the airport restaurant during lunch. :laugh:
i did that with my harley. in front of my friends pawn shop. ( shut it off) open close 3x on the throttle and hit the ignition, shot 2 4 ft flames out of the exhaust ( and set off his alarm ) :icon_twisted:
This reminds me of flying with my grandfather in his Aerocoup in Nunda New york. Had to buzz the field to get the cows to move
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
i may be getting a small ultralight soon, :icon_twisted: lookin fwd to that, hell ive got a roughly 600ft long airstrip in front of my house so, locations right :thumb: