I dont no why im posting this on a message board , but i have no one else to say it to at this time
This weekend was meant to be the best of my life , my girlfriend was ment to come down , i was getting my daytona ..
She calls me on friday , Her son ,,. and My *Son* i loved him and even tho i only saw him for a month before her grandma took ill and she had to move away to spend her last days with her , she was ill with cancer and it couldnt be cured , i loved him so much , he slept on my chest , i called him son ,, he was my boy
She said hes been taken into hospital , his Temp is rocketed , etc , hes been a lil under the weather this week , but eating and fine , but now hes got really ill , im worried , so she doesnt come down for my birthday , but hes stable
by saterday , hes no better , hes not being eating or drinking , hes under watch in the hospital , stable , and ok
Sunday , my birthday , hes hooked up to a machine because his Organs have started to fail , and he cant breathe on his own , they think its Meningitis, hes really not doing so well , shes crying and im crying and im damn worried
Monday .. 2 day she was ment to come pick me up , to go 2 the hospital with her , and she didnt turn up and i felt sick all day , i managed to get hold of her at 11pm... 9:50 pm .. Dannielle makes the choice to turn off the machine , he dies .... 9 months old and dies from Meningitis , and i dont no what to do , she has lost her first boyfriend of 5 years and her son in the same year... this was ment to be our year and at the start, ive lost my son , i have tears rolling down my face as i type this , it hurts , and im scared shes going to do something crazy ,
Im really sorry to even mention it
Thanks , Jay x
Dude, that's horrible. Some people say everything happens for a reason, but shaZam! like that could make anyone doubt that philosophy. Hang in there and be there for her, y'all can get through this.
I'm very sorry.
Man, death is a hard thing to deal with, especially when it's someone who's time was far from over. (My aunt had the same type of thing, her new born passed away unexpectedly) I just dealt with a death in my family a couple weeks ago, it was a very hard and trying time for everyone. It was especially hard to see people cry who you've always looked up to and never seen in tears. The best advice I can offer is to just be there for her and comfort her and let her do the same for you. Think of all the good times you all shared together and know that he is in a better place now. Stay strong and you two will get through this. We're all here for you, if you ever need support.
Sorry to hear this mate...
Keep your head straight and you can work through it all. Stay focused on the future :cheers:
Just makes u think , im ok until i think of his little face ,. and his smile ... ive still got all these pics of him on my phone and computer... Its notreallty happening .. but hes gone , its killing me inside ... what sort of god would allow a 9 month year old boy to be taken away from me ... Her Ex boyfriend was serving in the army , and was shot dead one week before rory was born , the only man Rory saw was me , i was his dad and i cant see him anymore
Ive told her im never going anywhere, i offered 2 come down , and she told me she didnt want me to , but i have to , i cant let her deal with this alone , i want to take the train there in the morning , and just turn up and tell her im there.....
Ive been hit by 3 cars , almost got stabbed in a Mugging, Almost electrocuted myself , almost drowned in the sea saving someones life , im pretty sure god wanted me to survive for some reason , yet he took my 9 month old away from me .. he should have taken me instead , ive had 21 crappy years , but i had the chance, his first birthday was in September .. didnt make it
Im really worryed about her , shes not making sense , she told me she loved me , and that she doesnt to loose me 2 , and then i havent been able 2 contact her since...
Im a wreck.. I dont no what to do
jay mate my heart and prayers go out to you and yours. and rory, , sometimes god has a plan, err god has a plan for everything. think if it this way perhaps, god needed a special angel you know hes there with him, so hes hurting no longer m8 :cry: :cry:
Thats what she said , He looked so Peaceful, I said hes not feeling any pain anymore , she burst into tears.. I cant believe it
Dude, get your ass on a train. If she doesn't want to see you, sleep on the f%$king porch. Just get there.
Your right... Spot on . Im gonna get the train asap , Thanks dude , she cant get that mad at me
Quote from: spcterry on June 09, 2008, 08:06:43 PM
Dude, get your ass on a train. If she doesn't want to see you, sleep on the f%$king porch. Just get there.
↑↑↑↑↑↑↑ or on your gs even f%$k it show up unannounced ya shes goin nuts, losing a son. get teh FÜCK off line and GO NOW
Trains dont run for another 2 hours, its 4 am , .. Im going to get ready and just turn up , im not sure where she lives.. Being i havent been to her new place , only the old place , but if i have to ring her a million times to wake her up i will
She seemed like she didnt want me to go there last nite , i dont want to upset her , but i cant just sit here
prayin for yall m8 :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
I have 2 boys and 2 step girls.I almost lost my son to an undiagnosable fever when he was 2 years old.I know the feeling.My son and girlfriend were 240 miles away.She didn't want me to come up.I didn't but I regret not just going.I was the only one of us working at the time and she didn't want me to loose our utilities.Couldn't loose the house since it's family property that was paid for before I was born.I don't know how it feels to loose a child but I know it would kill a part of me.
Jay.Go to her.If she loves you truely, she won't turn you away.She's just suffering more because she literally lost part of herself.That little boy was part of her for 9 months.
Quote from: ben2go on June 09, 2008, 11:40:56 PM
I have 2 boys and 2 step girls.I almost lost my son to an undiagnosable fever when he was 2 years old.I know the feeling.My son and girlfriend were 240 miles away.She didn't want me to come up.I didn't but I regret not just going.I was the only one of us working at the time and she didn't want me to loose our utilities.Couldn't loose the house since it's family property that was paid for before I was born.I don't know how it feels to loose a child but I know it would kill a part of me.
Jay.Go to her.If she loves you truely, she won't turn you away.She's just suffering more because she literally lost part of herself.That little boy was part of her for 9 months.
what he said. still prayin for you and her. PLEASE let us know how it turned out :cry:
oh jay i am so so sorry. i can understand why you posted it on this board. when i was going through my chemo the people here were my support group and got me through it. the love and generosity of the gstwins family is unmatched. i am not an overtly religious person but i would suggest seeing your priest or a grief councillor. life is harsh and we will go crazy if why try to figure out why things happen the way they do. please do not isolate yourself or self medicate with drugs and/or alcohol...it will just make things worse. if you want i will pm you my phone number and you can call me collect.
frankie
Ohhh ... so sad. You help her through this ... she needs you.
Cool.
Buddha.
She didnt want to see me , she is a empty shell of a girl , and just... is Empty , no emoution , no feelings , says she loves me , but its gonna be a while before we can see each other again , really not sure how to take it ,
I no she is in a realm of pain that i cant even feel , but shes pushing me away , were gonna keep in contact , and such , but she needs some time , i think its fair enough, even tho its killing me..
Thanks Guys , Uve been a great help , thanks so much
Jay, I am so sorry to hear this.
You need to greive but you also need support and guidance and you have to make an effort to help yourself get through this. There will be counsellors at the hospital who will help you or you can call the Samaritans who will offer support and put you in touch with the right people.
http://www.samaritans.org.uk/
Best wishes and good luck mate.
There is no way to feel your pain, I'm sure it's terrible.
You go see your son man.
If she slaps you, or swears, or throws you out, don't blame her. Women are weird, and pain makes it harder.
I'm so sorry for you man, let the tears flow, and go. Go !
- Kyle
I am very sorry to hear this :( Be strong, you'll get through this.
I wish you both the very best.
Jay, I really don't know what to say. I have a three year old daughter and a nine year old son. Not exactly sure what I would do if either of them were taken from me like that. I'm praying for you and your girlfriend man. Right now, you both need all of the support you can get. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you two are feeling. Life will not be the same after this, I can tell you that. A child is a precious thing, and once they look into your eyes and smile, you know it. You feel it. They trust you completely. The Lord must have a great plan for him. I've always said that I'll go when the Lord decides it's time for me, and not a second sooner. Maybe it's best to try and have that attitude for this little boy. Give your girl all of the support she needs, and don't forget about yourself. I cried when I read your original post and still am right now. The bond that grows between a father and child is strong, even if he was in your life for a very short time. My son was three months old when my wife and I started dating. I was the first man he called dad. I rocked him to sleep. I comforted him when he would cry. I know how strong the bond is. He is my stepson, but he feels more like my own son. There is no difference in my love for him and my love for my daughter. Hang in there. We're all here for you if you need us. You know that. :cry:
Thats just it ,His dad died a week before he was born , and i was the first person he knew as a father , even at 9 months old he knew,
i want to thank everyone for such warm and kind words , Its nice to be able to talk so deep , yet not to someones face
I came home after she didnt want to see me , and i rang her , she was sitting on a field , i could hear all these kids screaming in the background ,and she sounded empty ,
she didnt no what she felt ,and she quickly said her goodbyes
she sent me a txt : I love you, but i just cant deal with anything, i dont no whats going on and i want your help, but i cant have it. Im just confused.. Love you xxxxxxxxxxx
ive never heard her like this, just miss him so much... just knowning ill never feel him sleeping on my chest again,
I think the worst part is that i had already planned his life in my head , like teaching him on a mini moto at 4.. music , everything , and i dont get to now ,
never thought it would happen like this
Thanks Again
Jay, I'm so very, very sorry for your terrible loss. It sounds like both of you have suffered terribly during this time. You *are* the baby's father, and it sounds as though you are a wonderful father.
If you have *any* suspicion that she might harm herself, please try to get her some help. I know there's only so much you can do, but try if there's any thought in your mind that she might harm herself.
And, you. You take care of yourself, too, sweetheart. I can't even imagine losing my son; tears come to my eyes just thinking about it. You've suffered a devastating loss, and you need to grieve and take care of YOU, too. I send good thoughts your way, and I wish you and your loved ones healing and peace. <3
Dude that suck bad, My son is still in his mothers belly and dotn know how you feel but I can imagine if the same thing would happen it will hurt soooooo bad I have the same things planned for my son as you did and if I never get that chance i would just be done your around the same age as me and your strong enough to get through this and help her as well. prayers go out brotha
21 Years Old.. Shes 20 My Birthday On the 8th Of June .. He Died On The 9/6/08 , Its Her Birthday On 22/6/08 .. His Organs Failed On My Birthday , He was kept alive on machine until the 9th
Died Between our birthdays , every year , i no the day after my birthday my son died ,
We spoke this evening , she said that shes scared about seing me , because she thinks something will happen to me , i told her it wont happen , but she lost her ex boyfriend 9 months ago , and now her son ,
weve spoke about funeral arrangements , im going to help , she wants me to get the death Certificate Done , which i agreed , and shes letting me go see his body before its buryed , she saw him this morning , said he looks like hes sleeping , but hes never going to wake up , hes lying in a blue room , wrapped up in blankets , in a baby suit ,
Im not sure i can see that with out wanting him to wake up , but i need to say goodbye to my son ,
Also spoke about tattoos to remember him i was going to get his hand prints on my body for his 1st birthday , the Hospital took prints of his hands and feet , for me to get copyed and tattooed on my body , Part of me died when he died ,and i want it back , and i think it will help,
Thanks for listening , its helping alot , if someone mentions it to me , i just start crying , but u cant see my Tears this way
Thanks so Much everyone , ur all amazing
Jay xxx
As a father of two there could be no worse calamity. I am sorry for you and your lady. It's perfectly fine to address it here to sort of anonymous folks. Hard to deal with and you must process some. There will always be a hurt place there but with time things will get better for both of you. At 21 you may feel as if life has been shitty but you are in the race and you must continue to run well and finish proudly. You did all you could for the boy and you must continue to set the example and lead for others, his mother must have space and support, and this will require a great deal of patience, but you are thinking soundly and I am certain you are up to the task. It would not be out of line for you to line up a counselor for you and your lady, just offer to take her as a friend or point her in that direction, it can help things heal better and faster. Best wishes. Years ago it was not uncommon at all to lose a child or children to disease, now things are so much better medically that it is a shock when it occurs. Best wishes, praying for you both.
The tattoo idea is awesome.
What was his name ?
I'm so sorry for both of you.
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 10, 2008, 05:52:25 PM
21 Years Old.. Shes 20 My Birthday On the 8th Of June .. He Died On The 9/6/08 , Its Her Birthday On 22/6/08 .. His Organs Failed On My Birthday , He was kept alive on machine until the 9th
Died Between our birthdays , every year , i no the day after my birthday my son died ,
I was in the exact same situation. Our grandmother got sick around mothers day. Died a few days before her sons (my stepdads) birthday, viewing was on his birthday, and the funeral was on my sisters birthday. It's gonna be tough to think about for awhile, grieving is normal and good for you. Eventually you'll come to peace.
His Name was Rory , yea i liked the idea of the tattoo, like i said i was going to get his hands tattoed on me , but she sed his feet were printed also , and i really like the idea
tatoo his hands on your chest and the feet on your stomach area that way you'll always be holding him
His hands on your chest would be really cool, like on your pec.
Thats Spot on , hands on my Pec my right one , as the left ones already covered . .not sure about where id get the feet tho
I thought id take a pic of my torso.. and yes., my Pajamas Slipped a lil down ,but u no , It was just to show the area to be tattooed
I was thinking right side collarbone and pec...
(http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u148/James_Jay_Wolf/11062008584.jpg)
Yeah man, the hands would definitely look good. I'd have to think about the feet for a bit, not sure on which location would be best. I like the ink you already have, it looks somewhat fresh?
I cant think where the feet would go , the hands would look perfect on my chest , i may have to just get the hands on my front and the feet on my shoulder blade or something , its all a mermoral to him , so he'll never leave me ,
19 hours my ink took , and its under 3 months old
dude you said he slept of your chest meaning his hads were around your chest area and his feet around your wait area if you put them their he can forever sleep on your chest
Thats really nice Mach... Loving That Idea.. aw just makes me think bout him.. in a good way
what ever I can do to help my lil one will be here soon so just think of what your going through gets me hard. Im like your lady kinda cold and emotionless but infants have a spot in my heart that gets me. so do certain country songs and other things
Shes not even a Cold Or emoutionless Person , She Is Just Crushed by this, I dont remember the last im cryed , until i rang her and she sed, Hes gone... Since then i havent stopped
brother, that i know. im a single man, but kids to me are a gift from god.be there for her. shes going to be hurting for a VERY long while. again my prayers go out to you hnd her :cry:
Jay,
Sorry to hear what you're going through.
These words might help you find some hope at this time and in the future:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms%209:18;31:24;33:18,22;38:15;39:7;43:5
I'm praying for you too, and I'd be happy to pray with you. Let me know...
same here m8 lemme know what i can do for you and your lady. btw i know it sounds a bit odd, but do you have a pic of the lil angel? ( my prayers are still going out. like i said, lemme know what i can do, for you and yours. we are after all a family here
Pm me , email address's and ill send a pic of him that way , im not sure she would want me putting his face on a forum ,
Thanks guys
Jay,
Crying is cathartic. It helps us release some of the stress (of grief, anger, whatever). Allow yourself to cry. It's perfectly manly to cry when you've lost your baby (or any other time).
I'm glad your baby's mom is having you share in making the arrangements. I think it will help you both.
Sending a bazillion good thoughts your way..... <3
Im so more worried about her, then i am about me , ive never seen like this , i no my best way i can help is to be out of the way until she needs me,
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 11, 2008, 09:01:58 AM
Im so more worried about her, then i am about me , ive never seen like this , i no my best way i can help is to be out of the way until she needs me,
Just by being there for her, you're doing a lot, Jay. Just be there when she needs you. Hopefully she'll get past some of the shock and you'll be able to grieve some together. <3
Did you say that you have only been with her a month?
2 and a half months , so ive been with rory for almost a 3rd of his life , i dont think the time matters , i knew she was my soul mate with in 2 days
Yea, I understand :cheers: You are still young though. Dont get to worked up. When I was your age I had 20 GF's a year :icon_mrgreen:
Ok.. maybee 19 :laugh: But anyway... one thing I learned is dont make things to serious. Be kind, be helpful but look out for #1 ALWAYS! Girls are strange creatures :icon_mrgreen:
Stay strong there bud! :cheers: If you need anything PM me Im happy to help :cheers:
Well thats what i used to be like , shes slept with one person ... and that wasnt me , im waiting for the perfect time , i have slept with 20 girls so far , i used to be a bit of a my mama , and she made me a one girl man ,
we spoke 2day , and sorted alot out , She seems better
Happy to hear things are coming around.
Hopefully you 2 will be together soon and can have a talk over a pint.
Well i dont want anyone else , shes perfect , When she was 19 she had a Ducati Monster... That is a cool Girl , Shes got a Evo etc, we just get on so well , its so refreshing to be with someone who loves engines and a bikes ,
We spoke today, she sed she almost came and saw me , because she needed me , she doesnt think its fair for her to grieve to me , i told her im here forever , ill be her rock and her everything , so i think she will come and see me in the next couple of days ,
Next week , we have to get the Funeral sorted out , Death Certificate , and The Post mortem , Going to be the first time ive seen him in a while , im not looking forward to it , its going to hurt ,and im going to want to hold him and not let go , i dont want to , but i no i have to
Shes asked me to carry the coffin at the funeral , i said i would be honered , and it made me cry knowning the responsabilty of it all
I just want to say goodbye to my little man, Ive had my Freak out about it , and i think im back on the rails ,
I just got back from vacation and read the horrible news. I am very sorry and you and his mom are in my thoughts. Twenty five years ago my wife and I lost a premature baby. He lived for a couple of hours, but his lungs were just not developed enough to survive. Now babies of that age survive rather routinely, but that was not the state of technology then. That was really hard to get over -- I can only imagine what she must be going through right now.
Here is a group that helps grieving families who have lost children:
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/ (http://www.compassionatefriends.org/) It is a support group of parents who have been through it themselves. Please check out their chapter locator on the website and go to a meeting or two with your friend. No one understands like someone who has been there.
Hang in there. Time helps. There is a grieving process you have to go through. If not now, then later. Better now...
:cry:
my prayers and thoughts are out to you and your girl friend jay
Quote from: trumpetguy on June 12, 2008, 06:34:59 AM
. No one understands like someone who has been there.
Hang in there. Time helps. There is a grieving process you have to go through. If not now, then later. Better now...
yup tg, that i know :bowdown:
Shes Been Ignoring me for the last day , she txt me once , saying yes shes fine , it was so cold , and shes not answering her phone ,im hurting to , and yet shes being out of order , i dont no what to do
I think it's just going to be a very difficult time for both of you, Jay. Emotions run high and low and then high again. Grief affects everything, our hormones, our moods, everything. Try to be patient with her (it sounds as though you're practically a saint already), and try to keep reaching out. It doesn't sound as though she can be much of a support system for you right now (which is why you reached out to us, too, bless your heart, and I hope we can help a little).
Develop your own support system, as you seem to have been doing. Hopefully, as the shock of the grief lessens a little bit, she'll accept your comfort a little more and you'll be able to hopefully get more support from her.
I try to remember about people that they can only use the tools they're given in life. Some of us have a lot of tools, and some of us don't have as many. It's easier to forgive someone if we remember that they're using what tools they've been given (even if it doesn't feel like enough).
I'm thinking about you constantly and sending good thoughts and wishes to you and yours for some peace and serenity.
I am truly sorry you're going through this terrible, terrible ordeal. I just can't even imagine the pain of the loss, and you're handling it with true grace and with an amazingly good heart. I don't mean to sound sappy, but I do believe that things happen for a reason, and while it's so very hard to see right now, you're in the place you're in right now for a reason..whether it's for your own growth, for helping her in her growth, or for helping a little angel get his guardian angel wings... Whatever it is, I admire the courage, maturity, and goodness of heart you're showing.
Love,
pandy <3
Its not like im asking for anything , i just want to no shes ok and talk to her , and reassure her , 2days ago , she was saying she needs me , im her Destany and her rock , and i told her ill be here forever and i will be regardless, i think some men may do a runner to not have to go through this , but i want to be with her forever and through this,
This thing is killing me inside , i cant sleep properly , im not eating , yet , she isnt being there for me , and i no shes taking it so much worse than me, but why is she pushing me away , ive been nothing but kind and understanding , just hurts when someone treats u like this in these times,
jay
don't worry !!! her emotions will be all over the place just like yours are right now !!!!! just be there for her when she does call you, you are her corner stone and knows that you will be there .. you ar thinking the worst right now but don't worry it will all come back into play soon enough. i hope you have a good shoulder to lean on right now as well......be safe and again sorry for the loss
You Guys are my shoulder at the moment , Hard to talk to people , i just feel like breaking down ,and now it feels like my relationship is hitting the pan , she txt me just once , not answering my calls, just feels like im being left in the dark ,
Its just a mess up at the moment , im riding faster than i would before , im caring less about my safety , i love her and i love Rory , even tho hes left me for the while , ill see him again in heaven one day ,
Just cant work out why shes pushing me away , it hurts ,and it seems like she doesnt even give a shaZam! ,
99% of men would probly run away from this , and i dont want to , im going to be here for her and , she just seems to throw it back in my face
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 13, 2008, 10:58:56 AM
she just seems to throw it back in my face
i don't think so....... i don't mean to sound harsh or if i comes off that way but a mother loosing a child , would be the the worst thing to happen , she just needs time , SHE WILL COME AROUND! Just be there when she calls !
i do agree that most guys would have run by now but stick with it and just be patient !!!!!!
oh and jay ........ please take it easy on the bike ... i know your feeling a weath of emotions right now but DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES WITH YOU'RE SAFETY PLEASE!!!!
I completly no what ur saying , i knew him for 3 months, she had him for 9 , she birthed him and raised him alone for 6 months , i do understand that i cant feel what shes feeling , but i cant see why sher would want to push me away from it all , i mean im ment to be her rock and her One and only ,
i no its just a matter of time , it just hurts but i suppose i just gotta deal with it , im not sure how Blanking me helps
i don't think most guys would have run by now. i think it is a feminist urban legend that men are less sensitive or caring for children. we just show it differently and don't wear our hearts on our sleeves. jay is doing the right thing by talking about it and we are doing the right thing by sharing ours with him
Jay............one day we will all pass from this earth. It's just a matter of when. Life isn't fair and when something like this comes along of this magnitude some are shaken much more than others. This woman lost her child. She had a tremendous bond with her beautiful baby and now it's gone. She's had a giant hole torn in her heart. Her mind will probably be "extremely" occupied with this for quite some time. Time will heal some of the pain but it will never be forgotten. You are hurt as well but it isn't the same kind of hurt. When a man loses his Momma, it's not the same as losing his wife. Both are extremely painful, but both are different kind of "pain". At this time the both of you are in pain, but not the same kind of pain. Allow each of you mourn in their own way. Give her some time and give her some space.
It is my wish that you yourself do some healing on the inside and "let it go". I know that is easy for one to say that is "on the outside" but you must. She "will come around" after her healing process..........."or not". You have a huge big ole life ahead of you. Sometimes we are called upon to "be a man". This is one of those times. Your friend.
U make alot of sense , i think im just taking it really hard , i just miss her , i just think everytime , its me being selfish , i dunno what to do
Very well said Wilson :cheers:
Keep your head together Jay, It will work itself out... whatever the outcome is you cant change it by being harder on yourself :thumb: Take some time to relax your mind and get away from worrying about it :cheers:
Your Advice is Easyly as good as ur cooking Wilson , and i think everyone loves ur Food
very sage stuff man, well written. be patient jay, this is a major clusterfuck that happened ( emotionally), shes still grieving, and will be for a while. who knows how long m8, but let her know, youre " there for her" and to reach out if/when needed", and then give her her space :cry:
You're not being selfish, Jay. You and your sweetheart are both lost and hurting right now. It's always so difficult to tell how we'll deal with grief and sorry. Some of us gather everyone around us that we can and cry. Others push everyone away and try to deal with it alone. As everyone's said... keep being as patient as you can...
I can't tell you how very sorry I am that you're going through this pain and suffering. I join *everyone* here in wishing you peace and healing. <3
I thought .. i dunno , i feel selfish , i asked her why shes pushing me away , and why she is being so cold towards me .. and now i feel like a duck ,
I will never ever truly understand what its like to birth a child alone , and raise that boy alone .. until a man called Jay walks in your life , all happy , and then you find out that your nans dying of cancer , and then your son get taken away between our 21st birthdays , i think its all hit home, but im hurting to , and from where im her rock and destany , to being in the dark completely
Theres been points in my life i should have been dead.. when i was 4 i stuck a fork in a plug socket and got shocked i lived , Ive been hit By 3 cars crossing roads , (One was because i wanted to kill myself and walked out infront of it , I got up , said it was all my fault to the driver , the look in her eye said it all , selfish selfish mistake ) not a single bone broken in any of these accidents , i was shot for no reason with a airrifle , but i got shot in the back , i swarm out in the sea to save a young girl drowning , and my body shut down , and i froze , and how i got back to the shore with me and her ill never know , she went to hospital and made a full recovery , i got mugged at knife point , and i had a 9 inch knife pushed against my tummy , and i managed to push him away and run away.
Ill never ever no why i was saved , i think god had plan for me , and he does , its to protect Dannielle and make her happy , and it feels like i cant even do anything ,
Just hurts
Like I said before Jay, life will not be the same after this. This is a life changing event for both you and her. My wife and I tried for a year to have a baby before she finally got pregnant. She carried the child for 6 months and miscarried. That was the saddest point in either of our lives. We, as a married couple, almost didn't make it through in one piece. You just have to be more patient right now than you've ever been with her. Each time you think of calling her, pray for her instead. you need to take some time and take care of yourself as well. Most men try to hold back their feelings. They try to keep everything inside. If you don't just let it all go and let your Lord take care of it, you'll explode. I have always said that if God didn't think you could handle it, he wouldn't put you through it, and I believe that with all of my being. He has a plan for both of you. Not sure if you're a religious person, or even of your denomination, so I'm sorry if any of my religious comments have hurt you. She needs time to heal just as you need time. Everything will come around when He's ready. Just like you said, He allowed you to live through all of the near misses in your life for a reason. Just take things slow. Time is the only thing that will ease the pain.
jay ,m8, let god handle it. it seems like " WTF , what knid of god would allow this to happen, it seems VERY harsh, BUT you will see m8, you will see what the plan is. im pretty sure soon. ;)
Thanks alot , Im still trying to take it all in , Glad i got you guys :kiss3:
any time m8 any time, lemme know if anything i can do, prayer requests etc, , lemme know, err let US know :thumb:
I only recently found God as it goes , Pity ive lived such a Sinners life, Well im trying to be good now
its a harder road to travel, BUT in the end youll be bette off for doing so. m8 that child is adorable, and i know is making the lord smile think of it that way. eventually one day, you will be able to meet him again. he is doing well now, not in ANYpain, smiels from ear to ear ( like the pic), and is THOROUGHLY enjoying all that is his to enjoy
I hope so . he was a stunner .
not " i hope so" but I KNOW SO :thumb:
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 14, 2008, 12:29:52 AM
I only recently found God as it goes , Pity ive lived such a Sinners life, Well im trying to be good now
I'm not religious, but I respect others' beliefs. Someone said something once that I liked. They said they thought of church not as something for perfect people, but more of as a hospital for the soul... that always stuck with me. =)
Quote from: pandy on June 14, 2008, 04:22:15 PM
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 14, 2008, 12:29:52 AM
I only recently found God as it goes , Pity ive lived such a Sinners life, Well im trying to be good now
I'm not religious, but I respect others' beliefs. Someone said something once that I liked. They said they thought of church not as something for perfect people, but more of as a hospital for the soul... that always stuck with me. =)
ive heard the same thing :thumb:
Spoke to her today , shes doing ok , i think im seing her tomorrow, im really pleased , she just been confused or something , she broke down on the phone today wishing he was back , she wanted me to come see her tomorrow , and we're Going to the Truimph Dealers tomorrow :cheers:
id say hold off on the triumph, until shes had time , jus spend the day/week/eternity with her, , can always go later. OR go after a good meal somewhere :thumb:
Well shes just put a Deposit on a nightclub , and she wants me to Run it for her , she put 20,000 down
nice :cheers:, if im ever that way, ill come and see it, get pics btw O0
Shes Well wierd like that , i dunno i love her , she told me today , she couldnt live with out me ,and she needed me , that felt good
Glad to hear things are going a little better...just remember that emotions are going to be on a rollercoaster for a while.... :kiss3:
She was feeling around her bed , and found one of his booties , and she was crying for about 30 mins , she is gonna be a wreak for a while , but ill look after her , shes getting her tattoo done on tuesday for rory
You're a good man. :)
She is My Soul Mate, I Love Her , Ill be with her until i pass this earth and see Rory Again
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 15, 2008, 09:13:22 PM
She is My Soul Mate, I Love Her , Ill be with her until i pass this earth and see Rory Again
:cry: :cry: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:(http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/engel/angel-smiley-027.gif)(http://planetsmilies.net/angel-smiley-5101.gif)
Cant Wait to hold him again , i miss him so much , :cry:
i'm glad things are slowly getting better man i just read this thread kind of late
but i hope u feel better man
its got to be rough can't even imagine
take care of her and urself :thumb:
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 16, 2008, 01:28:49 AM
Cant Wait to hold him again , i miss him so much , :cry:
one day .....one day you will hold him , but you have a full life ahead of you so live it !!!
Spoke to her again today , she rung me in the afternoon saying she had a Surpise for me , but wouldnt tell me , so i was thinking all day what it could be , i didnt have a clue ,
She said , You know the daytona i got for you , I sold it. She got like 100 quid extra of what she payed for it .. i was like ok fair enough, Then she told me that she had got her tattoo done with out me being there , so i was pretty bummed, coz i was ment to be holding her hand , and she said , so remember what we spoke about the other day.. i said . well the Truimph Dealership .. She has gone and put 3,000 pounds down on a Deposit on a BRAND New 0 Miles Truimph Daytona 675 , Im meeting her tomorrow , so i can Decide if i want it.. * Crazy* And Choose the Plate . I No Its going to be **58 *** and then pay the Rest
Basicly I said ur crazy , i cant accept it . she said im the most important person in her life right now , so I should have some pics of me and Her tomorrow , along with The Daytona ..
She Still isnt Grieving Properly , She just wants to spoil me or something , i said i didnt deserve it
this time get pics, mmmkay, of you the bike, and thepretty lady of course
Well I was ment to get the other one for my Birthday , but Rory Took Ill On the 6th so , my birthday in effect was cancelled , and she had bought it ,but i wasnt aloud to touch , take pics , Ride , nothing until my birthday , and Of course Rory passed On The day after , so i dunno , its all weird
understood m8, well see the pics of all 3 soon, enough. you her, and teh bike, or her ON the bike or ( anyhting forum safe :thumb:), btw what was teh tat of?
Its A Memoral to rory ,
His name on her back , The date he was born on one shoulder blade , the date he died on another Shoulder blade . and some thing else , im not sure she was mumbling lol
Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 16, 2008, 11:20:24 PM
Its A Memoral to rory ,
His name on her back , The date he was born on one shoulder blade , the date he died on another Shoulder blade . and some thing else , im not sure she was mumbling lol
thats what i was thinking, a cool tribute. ive known people who would seek out a GOOD tattoo artist, ( i used to be able to do this) and have a damn near photorealistic image of a child/baby tatted on
Im Getting His Hands done , from Molds made from the prints , in all the detail in black and grey , even down to finger prints
most excellent, man let me know how that turns out :cheers:
Jay I went on vacation and have been busy since I got back I am just now cathingf up on this forum.
I am so sorry to hear about this, peace to you my friend take things slow and easy.
Hey Betti......................you weren't hangin' out over at Port Vincent were ya? On vacation?