MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they w ill call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32..50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman ex pecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it..
LMAO :bowdown:
Win. :woohoo:
Ha, and sent to a whole bunch of people.
:laugh:
+1 yep I sent it on as well.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
HAHAHAH I've had this same argument with the fiance 100 times! She buys because its on sale, and complains because I won't bargain shop if the store has exactly what I'm looking for!
dude! that freaking was hilarious man! omg! i almost pissed myself reading it! great find buddy!
Man are you Boys gonna get it now.
No awesome videos of me. Just think I had one all planned out. :flipoff: But you're happier anyway!
:2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns: :2guns:
Honestly, I think I'm an oddball. Half that stuff I don't do like the eating out I just chunk money in, I def don't have 337 items in my bathroom, I only dress up for weddings and funerals. But, I am a bargain shopper! Also, motorcycle gear must match the motorcycle!
Mary
Quote from: Toogoofy317 on May 28, 2009, 04:09:08 PM
Man are you Boys gonna get it now.
No awesome videos of me. Just think I had one all planned out. :flipoff:
Hey, We had a deal !!!!!!!!!!!! :icon_exclaim:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:(
did this video involve a motorcycle and skimpy bikini???? :icon_twisted: :icon_twisted: :icon_twisted:
Sure, but the bikini is on the motorcycle and was swiped from a Miata.
Mary demurely plugs a jumper cable into her chest because the battery on the GS is flat.
Sometimes it's good to be bionic. Cue the Lithium Energizer Bunny doing an alien chestburster scene.
Hawt Bikini Melting action when the GS fires up. The stench of burning plastic (don't inhale, Pavi).
Meatloaf does the soundtrack. Mary gets a new heart after the old one (still beating, but with low oil pressure light on) flies away like a bat out of hell.
Quote from: DoD#i on May 28, 2009, 05:58:13 PM
Sure, but the bikini is on the motorcycle and was swiped from a Miata.
Mary demurely plugs a jumper cable into her chest because the battery on the GS is flat.
Sometimes it's good to be bionic. Cue the Lithium Energizer Bunny doing an alien chestburster scene.
Hawt Bikini Melting action when the GS fires up. The stench of burning plastic (don't inhale, Pavi).
Meatloaf does the soundtrack. Mary gets a new heart after the old one (still beating, but with low oil pressure light on) flies away like a bat out of hell.
LOL. You've put alot of thought into that...
So no "GS of the Month" calendar then Mary?
Quote from: DoD#i on May 28, 2009, 05:58:13 PM
Sure, but the bikini is on the motorcycle and was swiped from a Miata.
Mary demurely plugs a jumper cable into her chest because the battery on the GS is flat.
Sometimes it's good to be bionic. Cue the Lithium Energizer Bunny doing an alien chestburster scene.
Hawt Bikini Melting action when the GS fires up. The stench of burning plastic (don't inhale, Pavi).
Meatloaf does the soundtrack. Mary gets a new heart after the old one (still beating, but with low oil pressure light on) flies away like a bat out of hell.
:D :D :thumb:
Holy Fluck! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! You sound like my best friend DOD! I will have to send him that honestly if I didn't know better I'd think he wrote it! The video is coming boys I'm feeling better. :whisper: me Flick and thrusting!
Mary
:woohoo:
Quote from: Toogoofy317 on May 28, 2009, 08:58:59 PM
Holy Fluck!
I spit coke all over the keyboard when I read that! Who'd a thunk Mary would annihilate the effectiveness of the vulgarity filter so well?
:cheers:
awww fück :( lol i wanna see :kiss3: :icon_razz:
this should be intresting..... :icon_twisted:
Quote from: DoD#i on May 28, 2009, 05:58:13 PM
The stench of burning plastic (don't inhale, Pavi).
:D
I'm glad to say most of the smell is gone. I took my bike for my first major road excursion today, and the smell was barely noticeable. Then again, I was concentrating on my broken left mirror and the @$$hole on my tail as I went 45 in a 25 zone. :dunno_black:
Okay, I missed the burning plastic bit! Enlighten me? There is no rain for the next three and I got the DVD camcorder charged.
Mary
Quote from: PaviSays on May 30, 2009, 07:49:13 PM
Quote from: DoD#i on May 28, 2009, 05:58:13 PM
The stench of burning plastic (don't inhale, Pavi).
:D
I'm glad to say most of the smell is gone. I took my bike for my first major road excursion today, and the smell was barely noticeable. Then again, I was concentrating on my broken left mirror and the @$$hole on my tail as I went 45 in a 25 zone. :dunno_black:
people DO have an @$$hole on their tail lol :thumb:
Quote from: Toogoofy317 on May 30, 2009, 11:10:27 PM
Okay, I missed the burning plastic bit! Enlighten me? There is no rain for the next three and I got the DVD camcorder charged.
Mary
I think he was alluding the new helmet smell, but I could be mistaken...
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on May 30, 2009, 11:57:36 PM
people DO have an @$$hole on their tail lol :thumb:
Dangit, haha.