First, monkeys flew out of my ass....
there, add yours. :)
Well, you know I ment well but ............
well honey, if you think you can do it better......
this one time, at band camp......
I'm sorry... wrong hole...
So, I went out last nite ...........
I swear officer, I had no idea...
f%$k you, pay me.
it was cafeboys fault but heres what happend.......
^^^ I like that one. :D
I really wasn't paying attention......
but jserio said it was ok..............
Buddha Loves You
he does??? :cookoo:
Yes he does :whisper:
too bad for him i'm married, wife thinks i'm a keeper! :D
oh i just got another one, hehe
honey remember when you said.............
No I got it
Remember when you could whare that size .......
Quote from: cafeboy on June 08, 2009, 06:09:24 PM
No I got it
Remember when you could whare that size .......
usually followed by ***SMACK***
Quote from: gsagent005 on June 08, 2009, 06:14:52 PM
Quote from: cafeboy on June 08, 2009, 06:09:24 PM
No I got it
Remember when you could whare that size .......
usually followed by ***SMACK***
yep yep but that look is priceless :D
i try not to get that look, cause then its a week of getting back on her "good side" :dunno_white: :cookoo:
if mama aint happy aint nobody happy
aww she'll be alright. I got one of the good one's :thumb:
my favorite is when the wife says, "honey, do i look fat in this?"......(there really is no right answer)
Quote from: jserio on June 08, 2009, 06:26:06 PM
my favorite is when the wife says, "honey, do i look fat in this?"......(there really is no right answer)
oldest trap in the books
You want WHAT!?!?!
"I cut this Awesome Fart last night." Ummm OK that only works Around Dad and my Uncles. :icon_lol:
"I'm sorry, were you talking to me?"
Quote from: jserio on June 08, 2009, 06:26:06 PM
my favorite is when the wife says, "honey, do i look fat in this?"......(there really is no right answer)
When i say ¿¡ no habla ingles !?
hey hun, last night I bumped into my exwife again... and again... and again...
"honey, this lipstick on my collar doesn't look like your shade...."
hey hun, remember that cute babysitter we had last friday?
Quote from: LOUiE on June 09, 2009, 07:59:35 AM
hey hun, remember that cute babysitter we had last friday?
come on you know..... the one i had that affair with!
Quote from: gsagent005 on June 08, 2009, 06:27:39 PM
Quote from: jserio on June 08, 2009, 06:26:06 PM
my favorite is when the wife says, "honey, do i look fat in this?"......(there really is no right answer)
oldest trap in the books
The only appropriate answer: "No, the jeans don't make you look fat. Your ass makes you look fat."
...course, I'm divorced now...
Quote from: jdw03n on June 10, 2009, 05:26:09 AM
Quote from: gsagent005 on June 08, 2009, 06:27:39 PM
Quote from: jserio on June 08, 2009, 06:26:06 PM
my favorite is when the wife says, "honey, do i look fat in this?"......(there really is no right answer)
oldest trap in the books
The only appropriate answer: "No, the jeans don't make you look fat. Your ass makes you look fat."
...course, I'm divorced now...
WOW, I wonder why :dunno_white:
Hold my beer and watch this!
Hi honey guess what I got today.......
"wow! honey, look at the knockers on that chick!"
Hey Julie...I mean Jackie... er Tracy... um Vicky?
"Hey, toss me another cold one before you get down." you say to what you think is a co-worker, when in fact it's the owner... coming to check on a $80,000 piece that is -supposed- to be machined tonight.
And he does. Then just walks away, shaking his head and laughing.
Heh ive been there
"Honey, the process server stopped by today...."
"can i get fries with that shake?"
"What are you thinking about?" lmao. tellign the truth can be fun with this one.
"But...we're just friends!! Really!!!!"
Quote from: pandy on June 12, 2009, 02:11:19 PM
"But...we're just friends!! Really!!!!"
but, but, but, .....................................................WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If the neighbors say anything about a young girl in a mini-skirt stopping by this afternoon, ignore them. They're crazy.
You're a fat, stupid b!tch and the spitting image of your mother, now why don't you go screw some random guy for a hit of coke you dumb whore.
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o DANG
:o :whisper: that last one sounded kinda personal!
oh, how bout.....
honey... i emptied the bank account today, BUT guess what i bought!
Well, with Obama in power .........
Quote from: cafeboy on June 12, 2009, 07:24:02 PM
Well, with Obama in power .........
Guess I killed this thread with that one. :dunno_white:
Get back in the kitchen and make me some pie, b!tch!!
Well, ok that works :cookoo:
(At church and 10 points to whomever can name the movie from which this quote originates) The bible says "Thou shalt not kill", but hear this, FUCH THAT SH!T!!!!!!!
so I says to Mable, I says....
Quote from: spc on June 13, 2009, 09:01:53 PM
(At church and 10 points to whomever can name the movie from which this quote originates) The bible says "Thou shalt not kill", but hear this, FUCH THAT SH!T!!!!!!!
wasnt jarhead was it?
didn't you used to be pretty?
Your sister is really hot......
Quote from: spc on June 14, 2009, 05:05:34 PM
Your sister is really hot......
Your M omma's Really Hot......... (Not as a Poke at SPC but a Good way to get a fight started. :icon_lol:)
Mom is censured. :cookoo: :dunno_black:
Quote from: jserio on June 14, 2009, 04:18:45 PM
didn't you used to be pretty?
Your still Pretty..... (In my life that gets a Fight Started faster than "Didn't you used to be Pretty" ) :confused: :dunno_black:
Women? :confused: :confused:
Might as well say....... Hey those Ear rings make your ass Look big and that makeup wellllllllll..... it makes you look like a Crank Whore. :icon_lol: :icon_lol:
LMFAO
Man to wife "Honey, If I was interested in hanging around young sexy women all the time, I would have married one."
-Porkchop
Quote from: Porkchop on June 15, 2009, 11:07:37 AM
Man to wife "Honey, If I was interested in hanging around young sexy women all the time, I would have married one."
-Porkchop
yep that will get you killed :icon_mrgreen:
i'm thinking of trading you in for a couple 18yr olds....
Quote from: jserio on June 15, 2009, 11:41:51 AM
i'm thinking of trading you in for a couple 18yr olds....
I have said this but it was trade you in on a newer model :D
"300 for a massage? i don't remember getting a massage!"
Quote from: jserio on June 15, 2009, 12:17:16 PM
"300 for a massage? i don't remember getting a massage!"
instant dog house :D
hey doc, i've had this erection since friday night, and i was just wondering......
"So i took my laptop into the shower with me....."
Quote from: jserio on June 15, 2009, 05:31:14 PM
"So i took my laptop into the shower with me....."
i used to do tech support for laptops and there once was a phone call that sounded a lot like this... :technical:
Oh,that sheep? it was umm for....
honey, you've gotten fat and unattractive, so i'd like to start a sheep farm, what do you think?
and this guy named An volunteered to run it for me
If I counted the number of times I gave a f%$k about the vile dribble you spew forth in guise of conversation on one hand and gave you one instance as a freebie , I'd be flipping you off.
I love YOU is hot, do you think she'd cheat on your dad?
so? whats wrong with keeping assorted candy in my white windowless van?
Quote from: LOUiE on June 15, 2009, 08:56:22 PM
so? whats wrong with keeping assorted candy in my white windowless van?
YOU GOT CANDY!!!!!!!!! :o
can i have some? :tongue2:
tonnnns... but i need them for other things................... :cookoo:
oooh! another one...
hey hun, i was talking to my mother about you the other day...
I saw a dog sh!tt!ing in the middle of the sidewalk today and instantly thought of you
Quote from: spc on June 15, 2009, 09:29:10 PM
I saw a dog sh!tt!ing in the middle of the sidewalk today and instantly thought of you
I did this once to an ex. i got Buddha Loves You slapped HARd before i had the chance to esplain that the dog i saw, and hers were IDENTICAL
"It was only once..."
"honey, you know how you said you wanted something that went from 0-200 in less than 10 seconds? well, look what i got ya...!!(hold up brand new bathroom scale...)
"Dear, you know that house we were saving for...? What do you think of my new fur coat!?"
Guess what? I saw a hooker with that same shade of lipstick yesterday! crazy huh?
"Honey, When'd you get this new dress, its kinda sexy. Ummm honey, why does this smell like a bar? Have you been.......oh wait, this isnt yours......shaZam!"
honey i hope you dont mind but i used your bank card to get me a new computer because mine sucks!! :technical: :technical: :technical: :technical: :technical: :technical:
Dumb a$$ wrestling fan says to me" "Suck my duck" I said "Let me go find the tweezers and magnifying glass" My SGT. almost passed out from disbelief!
Mary :angel: