this contains some graphic language so make sure your kids arent around:
http://schwagoo.home.insightbb.com/HorseRaceOfLife.mp3//Heres%20another%20joke:Wal-mart%20Practical%20Jokes%20%20%20%20%20Here%20are%2015%20things%20to%20do%20at%20Wal-Mart%20while%20your%20wife,%20husband%20or%20friend%20is%20taking%20their%20own%20sweet%20time%20and%20your%20are%20ready%20to%20go.%201.%20Get%2024%20boxes%20of%20condoms%20&%20randomly%20put%20them%20in%20peoples%20carts%20when%20they%20are%20not%20looking.%202.%20Set%20all%20the%20alarm%20clocks%20in%20house%20wares%20to%20go%20off%20at%205%20minute%20intervals.%203.%20Make%20a%20trail%20of%20tomato%20juice%20on%20the%20floor%20leading%20to%20the%20ladies%20restroom.%204.%20Walk%20up%20to%20an%20employee%20and%20tell%20him/her%20in%20an%20official%20tone,%20Code%203%20in%20house%20wares%20and%20see%20what%20happens.%205.%20Go%20to%20the%20Service%20Desk%20and%20ask%20to%20put%20a%20bag%20of%20M%20&M's%20on%20layaway.%206.%20Move%20a%20Caution-Wet%20Floor%20sign%20to%20a%20carpeted%20area.%207.%20Set%20up%20a%20tent%20in%20the%20camping%20dept.%20and%20tell%20other%20shoppers%20they%20can%20come%20in%20too%20if%20they%20bring%20pillows%20from%20the%20bedding%20dept.%208.%20When%20a%20clerk%20ask%20if%20they%20can%20help,%20begin%20to%20cry%20and%20ask%20"Why%20can't%20you%20people%20just%20leave%20me%20alone".%209.%20Look%20right%20into%20the%20security%20camera%20and%20use%20it%20as%20a%20mirror%20and%20pick%20your%20nose.%2010.%20While%20handling%20guns%20in%20the%20hunting%20dept,%20ask%20the%20clerk%20if%20he%20knows%20where%20to%20purchase%20anti-depressants.%2011.%20Dart%20around%20the%20store%20suspiciously%20while%20loudly%20humming%20the%20theme%20from%20Mission%20Impossible.%2012.%20In%20the%20auto%20dept.%20practice%20your%20Madonna%20look%20using%20different%20size%20funnels.%2013.%20Hide%20in%20a%20clothing%20rack%20and%20when%20people%20browse%20through,%20say%20Pick%20Me,%20Pick%20Me.%2014.%20When%20an%20announcement%20comes%20over%20the%20loud%20speaker,%20assume%20the%20fetal%20position%20and%20moan'%20NO%20NO!%20Its%20those%20voices%20again.%20Last%20but%20not%20least:%20%2015.%20Go%20into%20a%20fitting%20room,%20shut%20the%20door%20and%20wait%20a%20while%20and%20then%20yell%20loudly,%20"There%20is%20no%20toilet%20paper%20in%20here!"
an oldie but a goodie
Hmph. How's that song go? "Hold on to sixteen as long as you caaaan...". Well, I think stretched out my adolescence to about thirty-five. :P Now, I wish I had let it go much earlier.