slightly rewritten: ahem,
"Twas the night before christmas
and Obama was shaking
Michele was doing some holiday baking
The ingredients were scattered this way and that
No sugar, No eggs No chocolate or fat
The children knew from past Christmas eves
that Michele's cooking would give them the heaves .
Obama raised his glass for a holiday toast
he started with "I don't want to boast"
But I spent more money than work on Pelosi's face
I apologized for America all over the place .
Over the past 2 years in every way
I worked to help only those
who had not worked a day.
Over in the corner a drunken Biden stirred
His face contorted and his speech slurred
America hates us for the damage we've done
How else could the tea party candidates have won?
Don't they realize that we know what's best ?
the damn morons would be in such a mess
Then he ended with this comment
Maybe we just take 100 percent .
Then out on the Whitehouse lawn there arose such a sound,
Secret Service began running around .
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
A fat , old , white haired man drinking a beer .
Smoking a cigar and looking at porn
Obama yelled "Clinton get the hell off of my lawn "!
In his trademark voice that is always hoarse
He looked at Obama and said "of course"
You are the Prez, Barack Hussein Obama
but maybe later I will visit your mama .
Then he called all the liberals by name;
Ted kennedy was dead, what a shame.
"Now, Schumer! now, Kerry! now, Reid and Pelosi!
Damn Nancy , you look just like Bella Lugosi
He sprang to his limo, the backseat was tight
Bottles were flying out as they drove out of sight
But they heard him exclaim, as he drove into the night ,
"Merry Christmas to all, and Santa is White ."