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Main Area => Odds n Ends => Topic started by: Phil B on March 01, 2012, 10:54:34 AM

Title: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: Phil B on March 01, 2012, 10:54:34 AM
unpleasant but quite important to me topic :(

Last weekend, I did some serious canyon riding.
A day later or so, I developed a case of the abovementioned problem :(
An external one.
Since I may have eaten something I'm allergic to which may have also caused it, I'm not 100% sure it was really the riding to blame. but I've been avoiding another ride since then.
This makes me very sad :(

Does anyone know at what point it's safe to ride again without "aggravating" the things?
Not until they're all gone? or "mostly gone"? or.. wait a full week after they're gone? or...

Answers of the  "I have a friend who..."  kind, are understood. This is a judgement-free zone ;)

Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: BaltimoreGS on March 01, 2012, 11:25:11 AM
If someone comes in with the "pictures or it didn't happen" I'm outta here...

-Jessie
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: bombsquad83 on March 01, 2012, 11:56:57 AM
You need to go to an ass doc.  Better known as a proctologist.
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: john on March 01, 2012, 01:12:16 PM
There are different kinds of hemmies.  Blood blister type and the wirse type where part of you is hanging out.  They both suck.

The good news is only YOU can decide when the inflammation has gone down enough to not be irritated.  Just don't push it or you will aggravate things.

And you MUST see a proctologist.  Put away your pride and just do it.
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: Phil B on March 01, 2012, 02:50:08 PM
I've been to the doctor. Got the thing lanced :( it had a clot in it, had it removed.
It's going down. but I didnt ask him about MC questions. Thought I'd ask here.


Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: bombsquad83 on March 01, 2012, 03:25:06 PM
Quote from: Phil B on March 01, 2012, 02:50:08 PM
I've been to the doctor. Got the thing lanced :( it had a clot in it, had it removed.
It's going down. but I didnt ask him about MC questions. Thought I'd ask here.

Dang dude...this thread keeps getting better.  Sorry 'bout your butt, errr luck.
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: PachmanP on March 01, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
I wonder if you could ride with one of those donuts duct taped to the seat...
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: Dizzledan on March 01, 2012, 09:03:03 PM
Eat lots of fiber and drink lots of water to soften your movements, may want to invest in some bicycle shorts as well (padded rear) to help keep the problem at bay. I had a bad bout when I first started riding (4 hour rides every day), I learned to adjust positions, and most importantly take breaks. I took a week off and was good to go afterwards.
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: yamahonkawazuki on March 01, 2012, 09:31:38 PM
boudreax butt paste ( actual product. ) had to use it on mom before she died. was bedridden for years. but works. as well sa prep h. also anti monkeybutt powder
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: adidasguy on March 01, 2012, 10:25:12 PM
Crack cream?
http://www.amazon.com/Zims-Crack-Creme-2-4-Fluid-Bottles/dp/B001ET76FI
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: yamahonkawazuki on March 01, 2012, 10:43:26 PM
(http://pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/13175/300.jpg)
and
(http://img.walgreens.com/dbimagecache/88941100017_450x450_a.jpg)
first one to help alleviate current issues. along with this
https://www.google.com/#pq=anti+monkeybutt+powder&hl=en&gs_nf=1&tok=3Fg_YxA3K9MSAvFXODsOgA&ds=pr&cp=6&gs_id=o&xhr=t&q=preparation+h&pf=p&tbm=shop&sclient=psy-ab&pbx=1&oq=prepar&aq=0&aqi=g4&aql=&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&gs_l=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=e9dd5ace2e18eda1&biw=1280&bih=929
but proctologist first. these items will help to keep from happening again. but look at what you ate as well.
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: adidasguy on March 01, 2012, 10:46:55 PM
(http://i1206.photobucket.com/albums/bb442/adidasguy/Videos/bonk.gif) (http://i1206.photobucket.com/albums/bb442/adidasguy/Videos/needpics.gif) (http://i1206.photobucket.com/albums/bb442/adidasguy/Videos/head_hurts_kr.gif)
(http://i1206.photobucket.com/albums/bb442/adidasguy/Videos/weird.gif)
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: Phil B on March 01, 2012, 10:48:54 PM
Quote from: adidasguy on March 01, 2012, 10:25:12 PM
Crack cream?
http://www.amazon.com/Zims-Crack-Creme-2-4-Fluid-Bottles/dp/B001ET76FI

Nice try, but I think that product is to stop skin "cracks" from forming. Not for "applying to crack"  :o

I'm thinking the other products might help though. thanks guys
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: adidasguy on March 01, 2012, 10:58:54 PM
Duct tape!
(http://i1206.photobucket.com/albums/bb442/adidasguy/Assorted/a97111_g076_8-butt-crack.jpg)

(I bet if we work hard, we can get this moved to the tard farm (http://i1206.photobucket.com/albums/bb442/adidasguy/Videos/wav.gif)  )
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: mister on March 03, 2012, 01:58:17 PM
Tard Farm is full with worthwhile threads, we don't want this sh!t there. Leave it here.

Michael
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: yamahonkawazuki on March 04, 2012, 09:49:27 PM
someone moved my word game there lol.  :technical: some weird north carolina indian i think lol. but that crack cream no not for internal use. a hemmirhoid cream of some formulation will suffice. as will taking it easy on " affected areas"
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: Phil B on March 05, 2012, 12:55:02 AM
Problem isnt internal, it's external.  but its not "skin cracking" either.  It's swollen veins.

(which is why ladies use 'H' cream to minimize varicose veins. true)

aaan yway.. I went for a short ride today. some local errands, and lunch.

happyhappy I think I'll get away with it :)

its been 2 weeks though. sheesh.  2 weeks without riding, in perfectly lovely weather.
I gotta avoid getting that next time. Or maybe it's God's way of telling me "stay off the twisties".
(or maybe that particular set)

Which is a REAL shame. but...

first time, I crashed.
second time, I survived.. but got hemorrhoids.
I guess I'm a real slow learner :-/
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: yamahonkawazuki on March 05, 2012, 01:40:31 AM
Quote from: Phil B on March 05, 2012, 12:55:02 AM
Problem isnt internal, it's external.  but its not "skin cracking" either.  It's swollen veins.

(which is why ladies use 'H' cream to minimize varicose veins. true)

aaan yway.. I went for a short ride today. some local errands, and lunch.

happyhappy I think I'll get away with it :)

its been 2 weeks though. sheesh.  2 weeks without riding, in perfectly lovely weather.
I gotta avoid getting that next time. Or maybe it's God's way of telling me "stay off the twisties".
(or maybe that particular set)

Which is a REAL shame. but...

first time, I crashed.
second time, I survived.. but got hemorrhoids.
I guess I'm a real slow learner :-/
the monkeybutt powder will help, as will the butt paste. anyways in closing you said first time it was a pain in hte arse off the bike. second time was a pain in the arse on the bike. sounds like a pain in the arse lol
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: adidasguy on March 05, 2012, 12:37:50 PM
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on March 05, 2012, 01:40:31 AM
second time was a pain in the arse on the bike. sounds like a pain in the arse lol

ASS is not filtered! OK to use ass.
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: zute72 on March 05, 2012, 12:41:44 PM


Hahahahahahahaha  O0  :cheers:
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: zute72 on March 05, 2012, 12:42:59 PM
Quote from: bombsquad83 on March 01, 2012, 11:56:57 AM
You need to go to an ass doc.  Better known as a proctologist.

Hahahahaha  O0  :woohoo:
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: yamahonkawazuki on March 05, 2012, 08:14:37 PM
any seinfeld afficiionados?
(http://media.lehighvalleylive.com/nick-falsone_impact/photo/assman-fdeb580577d733a1_large.jpg)
Title: Re: hemorrhoids... yeah sorry. but seriosly
Post by: bombsquad83 on March 05, 2012, 08:26:33 PM
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on March 05, 2012, 08:14:37 PM
any seinfeld afficiionados?
(http://media.lehighvalleylive.com/nick-falsone_impact/photo/assman-fdeb580577d733a1_large.jpg)

This was the first think I thought of.