You have one week to submit the funniest thing you can (ends 2-7 midnight): can be a picture, video or story -whatever. One entry per person. Make me laugh the loudest and you win.
The rules are simple: make me laugh the most and you win. I pick the winner. If you don't win, don't worry, there will be other contests.
If you live in a foreign country I will either direct ship from vendor (china), or paypal the total cost to you and you can order it. Depends on if I can order and ship to country.
Up for grabs: a beautiful Black sipik/ultraok cree Q5 tacticool flashlight. I have fallen in love with these little blow torches. One one AA battery it is brighter than anything I have seen. Good luck!
EDIT: You CAN modify your one post entry until the deadline.
(http://cloud6.lbox.me/images/384x384/201205/portable-sipik-sk68-3w-zoom-flashlight-with-cree-q5-led-assorted-colors_nmvdbr1338272231996.jpg)
Battery: 1x AA, or 1x14500
Switch: Reverse Clicky
Modes: 1
LED Type: Cree XR-E Q5
Lens: Collimating - adjustable from flood to tight
Tailstands: Yes
Pros:
Excellent output
Very good build quality
Takes both AA and 14500 batteries
Inexpensive
Great throw
Nothing to do with motorcycles but funny video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWhxCB0ndJE
Cookie
Quote from: john on February 01, 2013, 09:52:58 AM
You have one week to submit the funniest thing you can: can be a picture, video or story -whatever. One entry per person. Make me laugh the loudest and you win.
The rules are simple: make me laugh the most and you win. I pick the winner. If you don't win, don't worry, there will be other contests.
If you live in a foreign country I will either direct ship from vendor (china), or paypal the total cost to you and you can order it. Depends on if I can order and ship to country.
Up for grabs: a beautiful Black sipik cree Q5 tacticool flashlight. I have fallen in love with these little blow torches. One one AA battery it is brighter than anything I have seen. Good luck!
(http://cloud6.lbox.me/images/384x384/201205/portable-sipik-sk68-3w-zoom-flashlight-with-cree-q5-led-assorted-colors_nmvdbr1338272231996.jpg)
Battery: 1x AA, or 1x14500
Switch: Reverse Clicky
Modes: 1
LED Type: Cree XR-E Q5
Lens: Collimating - adjustable from flood to tight
Tailstands: Yes
Pros:
Excellent output
Very good build quality
Takes both AA and 14500 batteries
Inexpensive
Great throw
(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Barbie+fake+funny.+Barbie+fake+funny_63f585_4315106.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3KCjIAhSPc
It hits the fan at 0:57
Gimme the prize or I'm sending these guys to your house...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yjoGkCoIys
(http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/181195_478389315511306_1483503747_n.jpg)
Me and my best friend/brother decided to get geared up and practice for our partner ride safety test.
If you dont laugh at this you have no heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBG4jGuJPfs
Cornwell dealer asked me for these yesterday,....interestingly similar
(http://www.nebotools.com/staticpage_images/1795620.gif)
CBR...that looks a lot like the citipower I will be giving away at a future date. Very similar looks and adjustment ring -and mine has three settings (strobe, high, low). You will have a chance at it unless you want to paypal me some $$$.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG3MOSKtRkE
Those crazy Germans :D
EDIT: Changed the gif to a link, bit of bad language in there.
http://i.imgur.com/GOPSS5v.gif
What? That's old technology! Batteries? pfffffff I moved up to one of these,...
My choice for laughs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkgDhDa4HHo
Quite possibly my favorite video on Youtube.
Spandy Andy being sexy and he knows it at an Australian Beach...
WARNING!!!
Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shaZam!- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shaZam!/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shaZam!/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shaZam! blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
( removed due to 1 entry per person
Shampoo prank. So simple but so funny.
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on February 01, 2013, 06:04:44 PM
( removed due to 1 entry per person
I should add you can modify your one post until the contest ends.
no sir i had entered in 2 posts. THEN i read the rules. so i removed one of them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQzu8ERycVc
www.zombo.com :D
Brokeback Meowtown!
The funniest cat commercial ever!
This is old, but it *still* makes me laugh!
Ever heard of the Cinnamon Challenge? Its kind of like the Saltine's Challenge, except much worse... The object of the Cinnamon Challenge is to swallow a
tablespoon of ground cinnamon in 60 seconds without drinking anything, and then upload the video of it to the internet of course. What's so bad about cinnamon?!
- Bboy
(http://www.motohouston.com/forums/images/smilies/laughing6.gif)
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n7EGjaxhTWs
Quote from: BockinBboy on February 05, 2013, 08:41:28 AM
Ever heard of the Cinnamon Challenge? Its kind of like the Saltine's Challenge, except much worse... The object of the Cinnamon Challenge is to swallow a tablespoon of ground cinnamon in 60 seconds without drinking anything, and then upload the video of it to the internet of course. What's so bad about cinnamon?!
- Bboy
that is damned painful. :technical: lol
Only 2 days left! Then I read this thread and somebody wins!
Still laugh when I read these.....
[attachment deleted by admin]
(http://i.imgur.com/7PbCOE3.gif)
(http://www.lolbrary.com/content/178/free-key-cleaner-29178.jpg)
(http://i1112.photobucket.com/albums/k497/animalsbeingdicks/animalsbeingdicks/abd-76.gif)
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/minor_differences3/bee1.png)
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/minor_differences3/bee2.png)
(http://www.lolbrary.com/lolpics/523/how-i-feel-when-i-miss-a-spot-shaving-6523.png)
(http://www.lolbrary.com/content/804/nononononono-nooooo-38804.jpg)
(http://www.lolbrary.com/wall-content/813/wall-content-my-dirty-little-secret-38813.jpg)
Cbrfx... One entry per person.
(http://www.lolbrary.com/content/680/david-copperfield-freaks-out-kids-with-a-magic-trick-38680.gif)
Quote from: mister on February 06, 2013, 01:14:29 PM
Cbrfx... One entry per person.
What? You're not gonna rip him to shreds for the miltiple multiple multiple multiple posts?
"Cbrfx... One entry per person."
awwwwwwwwwwwww
(http://www.hardwoodparoxysm.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/handsup.gif)
John's rule, page 1.
Rip shredding for consecutive posts is reserved for the win thread where problems of the universe are solved...or buried under mountains of bs and banter. :thumb:
(http://estoyentretenido.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/11.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/azEs3Wh.jpg)
Quote from: mister on February 06, 2013, 03:43:00 PM
John's rule, page 1.
Rip shredding for consecutive posts is reserved for the win thread where problems of the universe are solved...or buried under mountains of bs and banter. :thumb:
aye. i posted two then removed one of them, replacing it with ( post removed by usert) or something of the like. hell tbh i didnt read the rules lol. except the porno one. ( no wait that was youtube hell idk. one of those days Eh?
Only 5.5 hours left. No judging until I wake up in the morning. Make sure you are happy with what you submit because somebody's gonna win!
Quote from: cbrfxr67 on February 06, 2013, 01:00:49 PM
(http://www.lolbrary.com/wall-content/813/wall-content-my-dirty-little-secret-38813.jpg)
Least we know where you keep your drugs
Quote from: Twisted on February 07, 2013, 11:19:45 PM
Quote from: cbrfxr67 on February 06, 2013, 01:00:49 PM
(http://www.lolbrary.com/wall-content/813/wall-content-my-dirty-little-secret-38813.jpg)
Least we know where you keep your drugs
definately not under the fridge lol
OK submissions are closed. Release the Kracken!
[attachment deleted by admin]
Congrats Mister! It was a close call between mister and gti5notrkt. In the end I flipped a coin. Next contest starts tomorrow!
Quote from: mister on February 06, 2013, 01:14:29 PM
Cbrfx... One entry per person.
yes dear :flipoff: :flipoff:
Wow, thank you, John :icon_mrgreen:
Quote from: mister on February 09, 2013, 01:52:21 AM
Wow, thank you, John :icon_mrgreen:
got to admit sir, WELL done :bowdown:
Quote from: john on February 01, 2013, 09:52:58 AM
You have one week to submit the funniest thing you can (ends 2-7 midnight): can be a picture, video or story -whatever. One entry per person. Make me laugh the loudest and you win.
The rules are simple: make me laugh the most and you win. I pick the winner. If you don't win, don't worry, there will be other contests.
If you live in a foreign country I will either direct ship from vendor (china), or paypal the total cost to you and you can order it. Depends on if I can order and ship to country.
Up for grabs: a beautiful Black sipik/ultraok cree Q5 tacticool led flashlight (http://www.robustbuy.com/led-lighting-gadgets-led-flashlights-c-505_1027_730.html). I have fallen in love with these little blow torches. One one AA battery it is brighter than anything I have seen. Good luck!
EDIT: You CAN modify your one post entry until the deadline.
(http://cloud6.lbox.me/images/384x384/201205/portable-sipik-sk68-3w-zoom-flashlight-with-cree-q5-led-assorted-colors_nmvdbr1338272231996.jpg)
Battery: 1x AA, or 1x14500
Switch: Reverse Clicky
Modes: 1
LED Type: Cree XR-E Q5
Lens: Collimating - adjustable from flood to tight
Tailstands: Yes
Pros:
Excellent output
Very good build quality
Takes both AA and 14500 batteries
Inexpensive
Great throw
The design of this flashlight is awesome.