Seems we all have moments of revelation. I read lots of post that end with "...ask me how I know"
So why not an amusing thread just full of "Ask Me How I Know's"?
OK. I'll start.....
When you pull a head, remember to separate it from the cylinders as you lift it off. Otherwise the cylinders come off with the head and the pistons are a real bugger to get back in the cylinders with out lots of help or patience....
.......ask me how I know.......
... ok ..
.. when not riding for a few weeks .. dont leave your helmet just laying around under the awning roof, out back of the house...
it might get a little cockroach hiding in there... that comes out and runs down your face while you are riding... and you think it could be a spider and exit a corner on wrong side of road!!
... ask me how i know
When adding a windows domain controller make sure you copy the global catalog. This is one of the biggest mistakes made by rookies, and not discovered until the first DC goes down.
I have known this for a long time. A friend of mine spent days trying to solve this issue on his domain, only to talk to me after finally solving it and as he described what happened I said "I hope you copied the global catalog." Had he called me he would have saved days of network downtime. edit forgot to add... Ask me how I know...
Painting a few rental properties to help turn them for a friend... Says pick up some white paint... I ask what white do you want?.. looks at me like I'm an idiot and says, just white paint... I say, there are 148 different white paints I can pick up at Menards right now that will paint those walls, and 4 of those 148 are layers on my own living room wall... Ask me how I know?
...I have a very indecisive fiancé ...
- Bboy
Before you move a big thing like a cupboard you wrap it with furniture blankets. That way you dont tear up the walls when you bump them.
Ask me how I know.
Cool.
Buddha.
Picking up some engine oil for a friends repair. says, hell any oil will work nothing remarkeable about this thing. he gets pissy when i start naming off different makes and viscosities. so i get what he needs but leave it in car. i walk in with gear oil ( 90w) he gets mega pissed. ask me how id know hed do that. ( anyhoo, told him id be back in 5 seconds with right stuff) swapped out for stuff in car. ( needed the 90w for different job)
When putting your rear fairings back on, be sure to reconnect your seat lock cable before you put your seat back on.
...Ask me how I know...
Before you make a stupid post about a wire that can easily be tested with a volt meter, and you OWN a volt meter, just go out and test it.
...Ask me how I know...
10 years ago, hooking up a battery cable backwards. yeah ask me how i know.
But in my defense, i had a 48 plymouth reverse grounded and used a case model 14 also reverse grounded so i had a minimal excuse. 2 hours of wiring later, i learned to be careful
When you buy an old Beretta Brigadier (or clone in my case) double and triple check that the barrel locking block (which is apparently impossible to find anymore) is in good condition. Ask me how I know.
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on September 25, 2013, 07:09:26 AM
Picking up some engine oil for a friends repair. says, hell any oil will work nothing remarkeable about this thing. he gets pissy when i start naming off different makes and viscosities.
He he ... I hate it when people refer to viscosity as weight ... I usually answer about 4 lb ...
Cool.
Buddha.
often hear them say " i need some 30 weight"
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on September 28, 2013, 10:30:11 AM
often hear them say " i need some 30 weight"
Yup, If I was behind the counter, I'd give them a gallon jar of something and say that's close to 30 lb, if its not, let me pour some oil on you to add up to 30 lb.
Cool.
Buddha.
we had a barbell set at pawnshop, guy comes in asking if by chance we had any 30 weight. he was as big a smart aleck as I. I said, yes sir we sure do. I went to stock room, grabbed the 30lb weight, came back out said will this work?
If a bolt is glowing bright red, it will give you some pretty nasty 2nd degree burns even if you only handle it for a split second.
....ask me how I know....
Ask me how I know what 3 dislocated knees feels like.
The 1st one feels like being struck by lightning when the ER doctor sets it.
The 2nd one makes you sick when the rookie ER doc sets it, after 3 tries.
The 3rd one.....well, you walk if off and grab a beer after you set it yourself.
Ask me how I know.
you catch a pizza pan as it falls out of a 600+f pizza pan as it falls out of oven and sling to table touching a split second. yet burns for an eternity. ask me how I know. ( damn reflexes lol )
Quote from: pliskin on September 28, 2013, 08:50:43 PM
Ask me how I know what 3 dislocated knees feels like.
The 1st one feels like being struck by lightning when the ER doctor sets it.
The 2nd one makes you sick when the rookie ER doc sets it, after 3 tries.
The 3rd one.....well, you walk if off and grab a beer after you set it yourself.
Ask me how I know.
As someone missing an ACL, I feel your pain. After getting kicked out of a bar, a friend of mine tackled me from behind and popped my knee out of place. I kicked it back in, got up, and walked a mile and a half home.
Quote from: RossLH on September 29, 2013, 08:18:04 AM
Quote from: pliskin on September 28, 2013, 08:50:43 PM
Ask me how I know what 3 dislocated knees feels like.
The 1st one feels like being struck by lightning when the ER doctor sets it.
The 2nd one makes you sick when the rookie ER doc sets it, after 3 tries.
The 3rd one.....well, you walk if off and grab a beer after you set it yourself.
Ask me how I know.
As someone missing an ACL, I feel your pain. After getting kicked out of a bar, a friend of mine tackled me from behind and popped my knee out of place. I kicked it back in, got up, and walked a mile and a half home.
oye ive landed on a kneecap before during a drunken fall. that sh*t hurts lol
When on a line with a bunch of guys using L1A1s either wear a wide brimmed hat or make sure you are the left most shooter on the line...
Ask me how I know....
Quote from: Kiwingenuity on September 29, 2013, 03:53:07 PM
When on a line with a bunch of guys using L1A1s either wear a wide brimmed hat or make sure you are the left most shooter on the line...
Ask me how I know....
Lol been there :thumb:
Quote from: RossLH on September 29, 2013, 08:18:04 AM
Quote from: pliskin on September 28, 2013, 08:50:43 PM
Ask me how I know what 3 dislocated knees feels like.
The 1st one feels like being struck by lightning when the ER doctor sets it.
The 2nd one makes you sick when the rookie ER doc sets it, after 3 tries.
The 3rd one.....well, you walk if off and grab a beer after you set it yourself.
Ask me how I know.
As someone missing an ACL, I feel your pain. After getting kicked out of a bar, a friend of mine tackled me from behind and popped my knee out of place. I kicked it back in, got up, and walked a mile and a half home.
That's funny, that's how I popped #3. A buddy came up behind me and tried to tackle me and throw me in a pool. My knee went pop and I fell down 4 stairs onto the cement deck. That was my right knee...my good one since popping the left on 2 times. So, I'm laying there by myself because everyone ran. I said F--k it and counted to three then punched it back in with my fist (thanks to the beer God). I didn't even notice the 5" cut in my arm pit that happened when I tried to grab a chain-link fence in the fall.
Needless to say I now have a phobia with dislocations. I have nightmares from time to time where my knee just decides to pop out while I'm laying in bed even though I'm trying to hold it in with my hands.
Google pics of dislocated knees if you need to see one. I just can to it. >:(
That reminds me. Ask me how I know how toe F--king your physical therapist happens.
doing WHAT to your PT?
... Kinky..?
Was she into it though? .... :icon_eek: ... Oh damn ... PT was a she I hope!?
Yes, she was a smoking hot female PT and I was a wounded 18yr old wrestler sitting out the season. She was going to take care of me.....that was her job.
I was lying on my back and she started to massage it after she worked it real hard (my knee). She really wore me out. Anyway, I'm just laying there looking over at her impressive equipment (incline leg press machine, etc) while she caressed my spent bone with her skilled hands (my knee cap). I'm on sort of a low masseuse table with a gym-mat top. She was straddling my leg. I feel something on my toe....I give it a poke or 2 or 3 before I wonder what the he11? and look down, only to see I'm poking her right in the crotch with my big toe. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow, I'm speechless. She cracks a little smile because by the embarrassed look on my face she knew I did not know what I was doing.....we never spoke a word about it. I left her there alone and wanting in the basement of that hospital.
So, my big toe got some.
Somehow this story sounds a little like Vision Quest??
awesome!! :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:
... ah geez my gut is killin me!! :D
All you needed was some cheesy background music lol.
Don't install and run pinnacle studio 15 then upgrade to pinnacle 16 then try and uninstall 15. Ask me how I know
LMAO pliskin, the most innuendos in one posting ever.
weird!! ... :confused:
apple puree earth what is good
"la pomme de terre puree qu'est-ce que c'est bon" from French
french makes everything sound sexy i suppose!?
I have another one!
When testing needle movement after putting washers on your needles, don't push too hard or the needle cap and spring will fly off all over the kitchen. Then you'll have to spend 10 minutes looking for a teeny little spring that could have flown anywhere within a 15ft radius.
Also, always have a drill and screw extractor set on hand if you haven't replaced the screws on your carbs. (Then get really angry, throw a curse, and use vise grips because the extractor didn't work, then replace the screws with #10-32 x 1/2 inch allen heads.)
...Ask me how I know...
Quote from: pliskin on September 30, 2013, 07:06:03 PM
Yes, she was a smoking hot female PT and I was a wounded 18yr old wrestler sitting out the season. She was going to take care of me.....that was her job.
I was lying on my back and she started to massage it after she worked it real hard (my knee). She really wore me out. Anyway, I'm just laying there looking over at her impressive equipment (incline leg press machine, etc) while she caressed my spent bone with her skilled hands (my knee cap). I'm on sort of a low masseuse table with a gym-mat top. She was straddling my leg. I feel something on my toe....I give it a poke or 2 or 3 before I wonder what the he11? and look down, only to see I'm poking her right in the crotch with my big toe. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow, I'm speechless. She cracks a little smile because by the embarrassed look on my face she knew I did not know what I was doing.....we never spoke a word about it. I left her there alone and wanting in the basement of that hospital.
So, my big toe got some.
Somehow this story sounds a little like Vision Quest??
i guess that gives you a good reason to smell your foot right???? :icon_lol:
I just remembered a very good one (after replying in a different thread).
If you ever are replacing a skittled traffic light with the remainder of the intersection lights still running, be sure to position the ladder in front of the signal while you reconnect the signal lights (especially if there happens to be a signal on each side of the pole).... Otherwise you may nearly have a traffic incident...
Ask me how I know...
Never use diesel to clean your chain or soak you chain in.
Ask me how I know.
Damn coons. What do they get to.... Like 30 pounds? Juveniles 14 pounds?
Super colibri .22's (20gr 500fps) not as good as air gun sending 18gr bb tipped pellets at 1000fps.
Please don't ask me how I know.
Quote from: adidasguy on October 10, 2013, 02:42:43 AM
Damn coons. What do they get to.... Like 30 pounds? Juveniles 14 pounds?
Super colibri .22's (20gr 500fps) not as good as air gun sending 18gr bb tipped pellets at 1000fps.
Please don't ask me how I know.
Same damn coon problems here? Juveniles are about 70lbs though with adults being 180lbs :dunno_black:
broadzilla returned. ( mama coon. bîtch is huge. and mean too. i clocked her upside the head with an old piston i had laying about. so shed get off my porch.
Quote from: codajastal on October 10, 2013, 03:21:00 AM
Quote from: adidasguy on October 10, 2013, 02:42:43 AM
Damn coons. What do they get to.... Like 30 pounds? Juveniles 14 pounds?
Super colibri .22's (20gr 500fps) not as good as air gun sending 18gr bb tipped pellets at 1000fps.
Please don't ask me how I know.
Same damn coon problems here? Juveniles are about 70lbs though with adults being 180lbs :dunno_black:
We are speaking of different coons.
Just ran the last 3 posts through my head all in one go ..... Bahahahahhahah
Quote from: slipperymongoose on October 04, 2013, 01:47:30 PM
Never use diesel to clean your chain or soak you chain in.
Ask me how I know.
Weird. I never had any issues doing it this way. Granted, I probably only did it about a dozen times before I switched to a different method.
Quote from: JAS6377 on October 01, 2013, 03:20:20 PM
I have another one!
When testing needle movement after putting washers on your needles, don't push too hard or the needle cap and spring will fly off all over the kitchen. Then you'll have to spend 10 minutes looking for a teeny little spring that could have flown anywhere within a 15ft radius.
Also, always have a drill and screw extractor set on hand if you haven't replaced the screws on your carbs. (Then get really angry, throw a curse, and use vise grips because the extractor didn't work, then replace the screws with #10-32 x 1/2 inch allen heads.)
...Ask me how I know...
You probably want to use the correct part, metric 5X12 mm bolts.
Cool.
Buddha.
Well kijona within 2 months of me soaking my chain n sprockets in diesel my chain became so loose and rusted that the bloke would let me ride out of the parts store without making my buy new chain n sprockets. He gave me a good deal so no biggie.
Now next ask me how I know. Don't overtighten your steering head bearings ask me how I know.
Been there slips. serviced a road king. belt was shot, told owner, also told him id not allow it out unless it was on a trailer. a CMA if you will. ( cover my arse) a liability. cause in this litigious society, owner or next of kin would sue the last person that laid hands upon it. ( me)
Ooo here is a new one ...
If you're using a impact driver to bash your alternator out of the case atleast make sure the biggest head that will fit in the head of the screw is used.
Ask me how I know.
Cool.
Buddha.
Dammit, been there too lol :oops:
Hmm.. Don't know if this belongs in rant of the day..
If you ever have to hotwire your beloved GS - connect the red wire and the orange wire from the ignition barrel..
You dont need to ask how I know.. some little turds tried (and failed) to steal my GS today.. as well as about 10 other bikes in a commercial parking building.
Took a good 45 minutes to get the steering lock off and figure out which wires to cross...
a paperclip is your best friend there. and no I will not describe in public the how tos of this. leard this in school to start a customers bike who kindly didn't leave keys. which has come in handy when ive had to repo bikes.
Oh I can guess where the paperclip would work...
Now I have to to track down a whole new barrel and probably tank cap too.. fleabay has one at NZ$178.. might ring around tomorrow.
I am tempted to install a wireless starting RFID system... I have enough parts in the drawer..
you can rig up a 2 pole lawn starter at local parts haus as a temp fix. damn fleagay has yall by the nutsack. nearly 2 hundred for minor parts lol.
Just rigged a switch under the seat (since I can lock it)
If they had manged to be clever enough to disengage the steering lock they would have pushed it two feet and then realised it had a disc lock as well... I may put a more obvious lock on it tomorrow since they are probably a bit special and may try again...
Major suck for the other owners - nothing worse to come back to than a defiled bike.. (or a missing one)
No security cameras?
Complete sets in US are about $100. You could just get ignition then re-key the gas and seat locks. Ask me how I know!
Quote from: Kiwingenuity on October 15, 2013, 09:48:17 PM
Oh I can guess where the paperclip would work...
Now I have to to track down a whole new barrel and probably tank cap too.. fleabay has one at NZ$178.. might ring around tomorrow.
I am tempted to install a wireless starting RFID system... I have enough parts in the drawer..
I have a brand new barrel here somewhere if you need. Make me a serious offer and its yours :dunno_black:
damn I gotta dig. ive got one buried somewhere, perhaps in the toolbin with the cbr 600 parts.
I may be in luck - our local pack rat may have one stashed.. am going to have a rummage after work..
They have video, but all of them wearing hooded sweatshirts... Local cops were called after someone disturbed them in the act and they made a run for it..
EDIT
Does anyone know if the assembly from an '89 E will fit a 07F? May have found one here for $60
(http://i1272.photobucket.com/albums/y387/kiwingenuity/2007F_zpsf189d0d1.jpg) (http://s1272.photobucket.com/user/kiwingenuity/media/2007F_zpsf189d0d1.jpg.html)
Going to be a mission to replace by the looks of things.. some evil little security screws too.. hopefully I have the right bit in my stash.
if its got the tiny nipples in the middle a quick touch with a tiny drill bit takes care of those. if you don't have or cannot find the bit.
you said tiny nipples :D
Nobody should ever touch their nipples with a drill!
what about this?
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/315M6TOkCdL.jpg)
You'd have some shiney nipples with that thing!
hard too!! .. :wink:
Repalce the top triple. Simple - why bother farkling trying to remove the old lock. Come over and I can give you a few where the lock was correctly removed. Or I probably have a complete set.
See you in, what, 18 hours? Unless your flight layovers are long then 24 hours. Spare bedroom for the night before you fly home.
Quote from: adidasguy on October 16, 2013, 10:51:51 PM
Repalce the top triple. Simple - why bother farkling trying to remove the old lock. Come over and I can give you a few where the lock was correctly removed. Or I probably have a complete set.
See you in, what, 18 hours? Unless your flight layovers are long then 24 hours. Spare bedroom for the night before you fly home.
There you go :cheers:
Quote from: Kiwingenuity on October 15, 2013, 09:48:17 PM
Oh I can guess where the paperclip would work...
Now I have to to track down a whole new barrel and probably tank cap too.. fleabay has one at NZ$178.. might ring around tomorrow.
I am tempted to install a wireless starting RFID system... I have enough parts in the drawer..
Yes and a pre 95 GSXR can be jumped with a penny.
Cool.
Buddha.
Got it sorted eventually - took the triple off and drilled / extracted it.. it seems it is an E4 security torx that is too difficult to find at short notice..
6x16mm hex cap screw in there now..
Quote from: slipperymongoose on October 13, 2013, 07:21:11 PM
Well kijona within 2 months of me soaking my chain n sprockets in diesel my chain became so loose and rusted that the bloke would let me ride out of the parts store without making my buy new chain n sprockets. He gave me a good deal so no biggie.
Now next ask me how I know. Don't overtighten your steering head bearings ask me how I know.
Weird...what kind of chain was it?
I don't know, maybe Aussie diesel has something extra in it (and I'm being serious, not poking fun).
Did you not apply a lubricant afterwards? I can't imagine how the chain would become rusted otherwise. Usually I just used the diesel to clean the chain really well and then applied generous amounts of lubricant to the chain. I never took the sprockets off to clean them.
Diesel is diesel. Might have been low sulfur I dunno it's diesel. And yes cleaned n lubed every 2 tanks of fuel. It was a DID chain
Quote from: slipperymongoose on October 20, 2013, 01:18:12 AM
Diesel is diesel. Might have been low sulfur I dunno it's diesel. And yes cleaned n lubed every 2 tanks of fuel. It was a DID chain
I dunno brother. It never gave me problems. :dunno_black:
There are definitely better ways to do it though.
Ok this is an MZ 660 that's been kicking my butt for 18 months.
Suspected the ignitor box. I recall doing some wicked soldering on it last yeat before I managed to get it started and run for 30 miles. So stil lsuspected the ignitor box, and worse yet, I may have changed something - no idea, dont remember what.
Bought another MZ - guess what ... my ignitor works on it, and I changed nothing. I just resoldered ...
So WTF ... why wont the bloody thing start.
Not carbs, it ran the same way, like a bear.
Not crank trigger - OK maybe crank trigger, It had spark bright enough to read a book.
The new MZ has a battery so freaking massive it can power a small country ... so big, it cant be removed without moving the air box out of the way ... I may try that in mine.
Mine may have a ignition rotor that has turned on the crank making it spark @ the wrong time.
Anyway nothing I have learnt yet ... whatever it is, is gonna be huge.
Cool.
Buddha.