epic fails

[iclrag]

I didn't see one, but figured maybe we should have a thread of stupid stuff people have done, kind of like the "what have you done to your bike today" thread but funny or face-palm moments

Today not once, but twice tried to shift into first with the kickstand down (was only moving about 3 feet) and wonder why my bike wouldn't start!! then i remembered the switch 

[RossLH]

I wont go far into detail, but I will say that my first ride was riddled with stalling in front of people, honking the horn to disengage the blinkers, shifting into 7th, and at the end of it all almost laying it down in my driveway after forgetting to kick down the side stand. It was a fun day.

[adidasguy]

#5148

From the Bike Cave in West Seattle:

* That fuel starvation problem on the highway..... it helps if the tank fuel valve is ON all the way - a 45* angle of the valve is NOT ON!

* That valve cover gasket doesn't fit NOT because it is a cheap Chinese POS - it is because there really is a front and a back to that gasket. Turn it around 180*.

* Your fuel starvation issue: now that you've torn apart the petcock and put another one on.... try putting gas in your tank. The gas station is 3 blocks down the street. Fuel starvation problem solved.

[Formori]

Went to start my bike in the morning and was thinking more about the pouring rain than the bike for a moment, set the choke too high, pulled the clutch and started her (with kickstand up, since I just walked it out of the garage) and then immediately let go of the clutch thinking she was in neutral...

I nearly got a very close look at the back wall of my garage.

I like this thread already, good on you iclrag!

[BockinBboy]

Ashamed to share this, but I guess its for your enjoyment...

Second day riding, and I actually went out on a major roadway in town to get to my buddy's place.  I just pulled out onto the road, and a sneeze started itching up.  Of course I didn't want to sneeze inside my full face, so I hurried and lifted my visor.  Just as it opened, the sneeze let loose and I quickly grabbed the handlebar again.  Tried to put on the throttle, and the bike was dead.  I was super embarrassed, cars honking while I try to get onto the side off of the road.  I didn't know what happened.  My sneeze killed it!  No matter what I tried, it wouldn't do anything.  So I called my buddy, he shows up 5mins later with his truck and ramps, hits the engine cut-off switch, and starts it right up...

FAIL

- Bboy

Edit: Wanted to note that I would never take my throttle hand off the bars at this point - that was just foolish inexperience yelling back at me.

[cbrfxr67]

great thread icl!! (applause)

One of mine was taking apart my first bike thinking I had a blown head gasket.  Bought oem parts, took it apart, put all back together and mistimed it.  Of course wouldn't start.  I sold it dirt cheap.  Now I don't even know why I thought it was a bad head gasket.  Obviously was carbs.

[SuperFish]

I'm a new rider, and this happened yesterday. Pulled into work and saw a coworker I hadn't seen in a while (and she's an ex-girlfriend). First day to work on the bike, I'd figure I'd say hello (and score a few cool points  ). So as shes opening her door, I pull up behind her. Except I underestimated the slope of the road I was on (I'm really short, 5'4") and when I went to put my foot down, the ground wasn't there, caught me by surprise and I laid the bike on its side at super slo-mo speed. Face-palm! On my back gritting my teeth, trying to laugh but not succeeding, I then see her and two other guys like "ARE YOU OK?!?!"

Embarassment.

[error]

I was working on setting the carb float height once, and I knew it would be more accurate with the center stand on. So I swung my legs over and sat on the bike, rocking back and forth until I had enough momentum to push it on the stand. But just as I lifted up on the handlebars, my foot slipped on the dusty garage floor and the bike toppled over.

Not discouraged, I figured with the bike on its side stand with handlebars turned to the right it would be about level. As I started turning the drain plug on the left carb the subtle push toppled the bike once more. This time landing on a screwdriver I left on the floor. After some cursing at the bike and threats to take it apart and sell it off piece by piece, I calmed down and fixed the carb issue. The tank's got a nasty dent the shape of a screwdriver but the bike runs nice.

[RossLH]

I was working on setting the carb float height once, and I knew it would be more accurate with the center stand on. So I swung my legs over and sat on the bike, rocking back and forth until I had enough momentum to push it on the stand

It's a lot easier to get on the center stand if you're not sitting on it.

[Worm]

This one was the PO of my bike:

Went to see the bike but the ad said it wouldn't start. Talking to him the battery was dead, bike had been sitting for a year. So I take a battery with me and a friend that has been riding for a while longer than me. We start looking the bike over and sure enough there is no power at all. No lights, no click from the starter, nothing. We start looking at the wiring, get to the fuse and it's blown. Dude let the bike sit for a year over a blown fuse! His loss, my gain!

[Bluesmudge]

One of my first camping trips on a bike. Was a tall DRZ400 with a bunch of luggage on the back. Go to make a U-turn near a bunch of people, turn too sharply and slowly drop the darn thing in the middle of the road. So embarresed, I quickly pick the bike up and frantically throw my leg over the bike, forgetting about the luggage. Leg hits luggage and effectively kicks the bike over onto the other side.

[MarkB]

Needed to take the front wheel of my GS, so I put it on the center stand.  Looked around garage for something heavy to put on the seat to keep the rear wheel down an lift the front wheel while I did the work.  Settled on a sledgehammer with the handle resting on the tank and the heavy end on the back of the seat. 

At some point I knocked the bike with enough force that the handle of the sledgehammer slipped off the tank.  In something like a slow motion sequence from a movie, I watched as the handle swung to the ground, somehow creating enough rotational inertia that, when the handle touched the ground, the head of the hammer swung forward off the seat and put a sizable dent in the tank.

[mimikeni]

Haven't dropped the bike YET or accidentally hit the tank with a sledgehammer, but I've done everything else mentioned.  I guess we're all part of the fail club.

[Somnospeed]

One of my first camping trips on a bike. Was a tall DRZ400 with a bunch of luggage on the back. Go to make a U-turn near a bunch of people, turn too sharply and slowly drop the darn thing in the middle of the road. So embarresed, I quickly pick the bike up and frantically throw my leg over the bike, forgetting about the luggage. Leg hits luggage and effectively kicks the bike over onto the other side.

Best... Story... Ever. 

[Paulcet]

After I installed my garage door opener button, the horn beeped when I turned the key on.  I tapped the horn button and it stopped.  I just shrugged and thought I had gotten it jammed a bit when I reassembled the switch box.  Then it beeped a short beep a few days later, just when I turned the key.  Hmmmm.  Then about a week later, when I hit the starter button, it HONKED and wouldn't stop.  By the time I gave up and turned the key off all the dogs in the neighborhood were barking! I'm sure some neighbors weren't too happy either.

I found that the screw holding the turn signal switch lever pivot in place was touching a solder connection on the horn switch.

[SpeedAddict]

I was on a long trip, my first ever, and had stopped at a gas station. As I was trying to turn around on the hill I had parked on, I stalled it, and over I went. Had my phone in my tank bag, plugged into a 12v outlet on my bike, and earbuds from my phone into my helmet. I had to untangle the cords and lift the bike as other customers looked on. Needless to say, I got my stuff together and left with what dignity I had left.

[iclrag]

So this isn't a fail by me, but this is now 3 weeks ive had to wait for my jets, this shop has had me drive in twice a week every week promising me i will get my jets, normally i would have given up by now, but i paid and don't have a reciept. this is a serious fail on their part! still didn't arrive today when they once again said it would.

[Janx101]

... several months ago... hadn't been riding a whole lot .. helmet had been sitting on a shelf in the little shed ... got enough time for a quick evening ride so on with the gear and wipe the cobwebs off the helmet and off i go to the local mountain rd .. nice and easy.. just enjoying the solitude kinda thing.. one of the mates happens to be out riding spur of the moment also and at the top turn-around point we chat for a min or so... then both head back down together ..

slight tickle on top of my scalp but as i have my hair usually cut under 5mm i think its just a little rubbing from the helmet cloth .. couple of corners down the hill the tickle on my scalp starts "walking forwards" (along one of the ventilation gaps/channels) ... suddenly the memory image of wiping cobwebs from the helmet seems so much more important! 

in somewhat of a panic i do all the wrong moves and while i did stop without harm on the opposite side of road on a corner in the bushes the mate told me later it looked like i had just been possessed ... frantically scrabbling at the chin strap with gloves on and yelling "theres something alive in my HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELMET!!!!" .. got the damned thing off and peered suspiciously inside ... no spider PHEW .. but one of those little light brown mini cockroaches dawdling around ... removed the bug , replaced the helmet and rode home with slightly less aplomb than normal 

no more helmet in shed on shelf... and i check the inside each time i pull it on now ... dont really want to bin the bike over a bug! 

[justafifteen]

One time I was engine braking before a corner... Became oblivious to the fact that I had finally hit 1st gear: pull in clutch, rev engine, pop clutch, bike JUMPS. Not once, but twice I did that. Looked like an idiot I bet 

That's actually happened I want to say 3 times.

[DominicW]

Was riding my bike near a park in my home town. Just met a guy with a bike and he was following me. Of course he had a ninja 250 and thought it was better so I was in race mode and going fast. Didn't know how sharp a corner was and didn't realize there's no way I would be able to get around. Tried braking but didn't make it, fell at about 8-10 mph because of a curb. Stupid inexperienced me guy laughed his head off at me and now I've got some scratches!!