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Main Area => Odds n Ends => Topic started by: shiznizbiz on September 28, 2008, 04:36:25 AM

Title: Tools of the trade
Post by: shiznizbiz on September 28, 2008, 04:36:25 AM
If you were/are a redneck, or if youre just super proficient with simple tools (you know who you are); Its time we have  little fun.  What would be the items you would include in the super dooper redneck tool box.
#1 the obvious, duct tape....for when things that are moving, shouldnt move.
bring em on guys, you kow you have them,
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: Kasumi on September 28, 2008, 04:47:06 AM
#2 Cable ties, i work on a farm and you can fix ANYTHING with a cable tie, or more than one cable tie attached to another.

#3 WD40, or similar type spray lubricant, cant lubricate anything in the field for a short period of time or unstick stuck things with it.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: PuddleJumper on September 28, 2008, 05:29:11 AM
A role of Bailing wire.

Kinda like and old fashioned heat proof zip tie.

BeSafe
PJ
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 05:54:26 AM
butter knife
   :cheers:
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: sledge on September 28, 2008, 06:34:04 AM
Hacksaw with a blunt blade.
A selection of heavily mushroomed cold-chisels.
Some files (minus handles).
A screwdriver ground down to a point.
A 2lb hammer with a loose head and splintered shaft.
A pair of worn out Mole-grips that wont grip.
One of those double ended rubber sucker stick things for grinding valves that never works.
Several 12mm sockets that have been forced onto 1/2" nuts.
Several 1/2" sockets that have been forced onto 13mm nuts.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 06:37:43 AM
Jack handle for a pry bar
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 06:39:20 AM
Pipe wrench
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: GeeP on September 28, 2008, 08:19:52 AM
Gas axe
Leaking Propane plumber's torch
Hacksaw w/ the blade on backwards
Mushroomed "Thor" brand copper hammer
2' long bridge pin, bent
Sledgehammer with a weathered and splintered handle
Adjustable wrench with a loose moveable jaw
6' "wrench extender" pipe
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 08:37:20 AM
Some big freaking nails to be used as a punch and or a rail road spike.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 08:38:22 AM
Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with.  :thumb:
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: sledge on September 28, 2008, 08:58:45 AM
Quote from: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 08:38:22 AM
Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with.  :thumb:

Whats wrong with your teeth?
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: pkhoff on September 28, 2008, 09:01:23 AM
Quote from: sledge on September 28, 2008, 08:58:45 AM
Quote from: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 08:38:22 AM
Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with.  :thumb:

Whats wrong with your teeth?

Many of us rednecks lack teeth.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 09:54:38 AM
Quote from: pkhoff on September 28, 2008, 09:01:23 AM
Quote from: sledge on September 28, 2008, 08:58:45 AM
Quote from: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 08:38:22 AM
Oh and a box cutter to strip wires with.  :thumb:

Whats wrong with your teeth?

Many of us rednecks lack teeth.



LMBO  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: spc on September 28, 2008, 09:57:20 AM
Det Cord, because once you've mangled it beyond recognition trying to fix it you have to get rid of the evidence that you are a completely retarded inbred hack.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: Kasumi on September 28, 2008, 12:21:49 PM
No ones mentioned what were keeping the tools in.

We could go for the classic...

An old oil soaked towel/sheet, grimey with holes in it which you put the tools in then wrap up and tie with a piece of ripped sheet.

Or we could go for the redneck toolchest 1000...

A half of a 10 gal oil drum rusted all over so when you've finished working you can burn shaZam!. ROCK ON!  :2guns:
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 01:04:13 PM
Plastic 5 gal bucket or cardboard box.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: sledge on September 28, 2008, 01:29:11 PM
I just leave them hanging around on the drive/garden/garage-floor.........nice and handy for throwing at stray dogs taking a dump, trick or treaters and the jehovas witnesses.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: ohgood on September 28, 2008, 01:45:12 PM
propane torch
hammer
vice grips
bailing wire
duct tape
multi-screwstick
loctite
anti-seize

^ if those things can't fix it, it can't be fixed
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: spc on September 28, 2008, 03:33:13 PM
Sledge: I find the best way to deal with JW's is to answer the door in your boxers with a shotgun over your shoulder and a  beer in one hand regardless of what time in the morning it is.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: sledge on September 28, 2008, 03:51:56 PM
As you know Tel owning anything other than a spudgun in our fair isle is a big issue and as a result we have to resort to other methods........I find that engaging them in positive conversation, then slowly droping you trousers/pants and starting to mast****e furiously without loosing eye contact is also a very effective method of ensuring a hasty departure on their behalf.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: shiznizbiz on September 28, 2008, 05:29:47 PM
A crappy pair of diagonal snips with dents in the cuttign edges from where theyve been used to snip the exposed shafts off of bent over nails.
A full set of completely dull drill bits that dont drill, they burn/rub  a hole in stuff
The ole' coffee can of nuts, bolts, screws, and misc fasteners that didnt find thier homes after the "rebuilds"
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: makenzie71 on September 28, 2008, 05:51:22 PM
no one's mentioned a block of wood.

My favorite redneck tool has been a socket with notches cut out so that it'll fit Suzuki spanner nuts.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 28, 2008, 06:13:06 PM
Quote from: makenzie71 on September 28, 2008, 05:51:22 PMblock of wood.

Yea, got to have a few 2x4 blocks  :thumb:
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: yamahonkawazuki on September 28, 2008, 08:54:39 PM
Beer or whiskey. either in enough quantity will fix anything. if not borrow terrys det cord
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: Jughead on September 28, 2008, 10:29:52 PM
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on September 28, 2008, 08:54:39 PM
Beer or whiskey. either in enough quantity will fix anything. if not borrow terrys det cord

True.
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cstilt on September 28, 2008, 10:46:51 PM
My favorite tool is profanity. A few well screamed words will make that nut come right off.  That don't work, break out the cutting torches. Who says you can't make a square peg fit a round hole?
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: yamahonkawazuki on September 29, 2008, 12:13:01 AM
speaking of alky, ive got a full bottle of french vodka, im taking to my shop in the am, to pull my 13b from my rx7, ill cuss, get drunk, that f%$king Buddha Loves You will come right ont
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: cafeboy on September 29, 2008, 06:29:20 AM
Quote from: cstilt on September 28, 2008, 10:46:51 PM
Who says you can't make a square peg fit a round hole?
If it wont fit you need a bigger hammer  :laugh:  :thumb:
Title: Re: Tools of the trade
Post by: shiznizbiz on September 29, 2008, 09:31:27 PM
or a bigger hole, or trim away the corners on the peg with the claw on a claw hammer..lol...theres always a way.  remember, insanity and genius are closely related in the engineering field....lmao