I thought the Onion's headline was pretty good.
"Nurse Being Treated For Ebola Impressed With Health Workers' New Gear"
I made up a few over the last few days.
Americans would like to merge Syria with Sierra Leone making a Syria Leone and have ISIS with Ebola running around. Then they would prefer they shoot at them from afar, instead of get close and shake hands.
Nigeria uses check cashing scam $$ to eradicate ebola.
Anyone got any more.
Cool.
Buddha.
ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.
Is it a virus or a free U2 album?
I modified one of mine.
Nigerian check cashing scammers are protesting over their govt's succesful eradication of Ebola because "we cant use it in a scam now" they said.
Yamahon: Ebola also causes death Not unlike U2 in that aspect as well.
Cool.
Buddha.
So, I've started spamming Nigerian email addresses with this:
Have 50 boxes of ZMapp experimental Ebola vaccine. Need to send to you. Please send deeds and all legal documents for your property to me so I know where to send them.
All the best
ZMapp Distribution Services
The symptoms of ebola are sweating, weakness, diarrhoea ,stomach pains, and eventually death.
Kind of like when I see my wife on the computer and remember that I haven't deleted the internet history.💂
I ate ebola... ebola hot chili for dinner last night.
Edit: thought of another...
So how bout that ebola... ebola good game?
- Bboy
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on October 23, 2014, 05:09:41 AM
So, I've started spamming Nigerian email addresses with this:
Have 50 boxes of ZMapp experimental Ebola vaccine. Need to send to you. Please send deeds and all legal documents for your property to me so I know where to send them.
All the best
ZMapp Distribution Services
Oh sheite - we should have a bunch of scammers email addresses, and send to them saying they can make big $$$ smuggling it into Syria Leone. And we're funded by Bill Gates foundation and we will pay them with cashiers check to do so.
Cool.
Buddha.
(http://s8.postimg.org/700tgo405/z213.jpg)
(http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/africa-weather-forecast-gif-1593945.gif)
Gif man strikes again Eh nice lol
:icon_eek: Omg that is TOO funny LOL
I feel bad laughing at these but cannot stop :oops:
A serious post in this joke thread...
Most of the other forums I work would have this thread shut-down and the thread contributors banned for life!
Then the greater-than-thou administrators and their Leftist minions would hijack the Ebola joke thread and turn it into a red-neck smashing festival in order to show their scholarly concern for world affairs.
World problems,
health problems,
money problems,
family issues too.
We all got them. Some here certainly have a lot more to carry than others but we all still co-exist nicely at the GSTwins board. You all have a good laugh, and without any pi$s poor righteous attitudes.
Exactly why I love this place! (http://www.websleuths.com/forums/images/smilies/loveyou.gif)
You, the members here at GSTwins represent the last hope for our ever deteriorating society.
I consider myself privileged to be a small part of it.
Bless you all!
-Ej-
(http://www.motohouston.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=81988&d=1414165524)
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/808/132/0c6.jpg)
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-9Rgqj6EKOMY/U-KEvEwh2rI/AAAAAAABV3o/gK_CkQ-aImk/w663-h616-no/14%2B-%2B1)
(http://cdn.meme.am/instances/53224820.jpg)
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2U5ObWeJNWU2eY8-bwJrL9H_wvRklaP3z1joZj9kA9MRhH66cnA)
OMG ... what have I done starting this thread. >:(
Cool.
Buddha.
(http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/f5/f58611c34427194d8ab7f06b397ee5cc140cb31bcec836c5b92bcf15cc10ffea.jpg)
(http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/09/093ececb99caeb3829447c07c257f2b055c4d1f08d89aa8477daf4b0aa1bbf04.jpg)
(http://isfunny.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Ebola-funny-meme.jpg)
Perhaps I spoke too soon. You guys are ruthless.
(http://smileys.smilchat.net/emoticon/expressions/dispute/bleugun.gif)
Quote from: Electrojake on October 27, 2014, 05:12:15 PM
Perhaps I spoke too soon. You guys are ruthless.
(http://smileys.smilchat.net/emoticon/expressions/dispute/bleugun.gif)
Yea the circle of regret is growing.
but that "EEEEEEBBBBBBBOOOOOOLLLLLLAAAAAAA" is just phenomenal.
Cool.
Buddha.
Buddha,
I want to ask a "why do my valves get tight" question.
Where do you suggest I post it? :dunno_black:
No, really.
Quote from: Electrojake on October 27, 2014, 07:15:09 PM
Buddha,
I want to ask a "why do my valves get tight" question.
Where do you suggest I post it? :dunno_black:
No, really.
lmfao
Quote from: Electrojake on October 27, 2014, 07:15:09 PM
Buddha,
I want to ask a "why do my valves get tight" question.
Where do you suggest I post it? :dunno_black:
No, really.
(http://www.motohouston.com/forums/images/smilies/laughing6.gif)
Hell, my next question was why do tires slowly lose air. :icon_neutral:
No really. Cut me a break here.
Darnit EJ, you are makin' me chuckle awkwardly at my phone... :whisper: people are staring :technical:
- Bboy
Quote from: BockinBboy on October 28, 2014, 02:10:39 PM
Darnit EJ, you are makin' me chuckle awkwardly at my phone... :whisper: people are staring :technical:
- Bboy
He he, he's becoming quite the master of the "deadpan" on this thread isn't he.
Cool.
Buddha.
OK, the valve question was to settle an argument (um discussion?) between my son and I.
And we were speaking primarily the "exhaust" valves since they are more frequently tied to catastrophic engine failures.
Historically it has been stated that the wearing in of the valve-seats cause the valves to inch ever closer to the cam.
Left unchecked this seating-in may eventually create a valve stem that has backed right up against the shim/bucket/cam. (i.e. Zero clearance, or worse, negative clearance). Then the seats start to burn/erode and bad things follow.
Back to the argument...
My son's version of the story is that valve seat wear only explains the very small part of the problem. It's actually the valve itself stretching from the constant tap & pull of the spring while the valve is under extreme heat load.
Then he produced a few pictures of industrial engine exhaust valves that had been stretched. Some were so bad that you could actually see a dimple starting to form in the face of the valve as the stem was being pulled backwards out of the valve itself.
Sorry for the long post but jeez, you guys are a tough crowd. (http://www.thereeftank.com/forums/images/smilies/new/trout2.gif)
Quote from: The Buddha on October 28, 2014, 02:15:12 PM
Quote from: BockinBboy on October 28, 2014, 02:10:39 PM
Darnit EJ, you are makin' me chuckle awkwardly at my phone... :whisper: people are staring :technical:
- Bboy
He he, he's becoming quite the master of the "deadpan" on this thread isn't he.
Cool.
Buddha.
buddha, hes taking over your job lol
Quote from: Electrojake on October 28, 2014, 03:38:50 PM
OK, the valve question was to settle an argument (um discussion?) between my son and I.
And we were speaking primarily the "exhaust" valves since they are more frequently tied to catastrophic engine failures.
Historically it has been stated that the wearing in of the valve-seats cause the valves to inch ever closer to the cam.
Left unchecked this seating-in may eventually create a valve stem that has backed right up against the shim/bucket/cam. (i.e. Zero clearance, or worse, negative clearance). Then the seats start to burn/erode and bad things follow.
Back to the argument...
My son's version of the story is that valve seat wear only explains the very small part of the problem. It's actually the valve itself stretching from the constant tap & pull of the spring while the valve is under extreme heat load.
Then he produced a few pictures of industrial engine exhaust valves that had been stretched. Some were so bad that you could actually see a dimple starting to form in the face of the valve as the stem was being pulled backwards out of the valve itself.
Sorry for the long post but jeez, you guys are a tough crowd. (http://www.thereeftank.com/forums/images/smilies/new/trout2.gif)
sorrry my friend, many people here have a slightly dirty mind, myself included lol. Trying to improve that for the better, but my friend i couldnt resist lol
Quote from: Electrojake on October 28, 2014, 03:38:50 PM
OK, the valve question was to settle an argument (um discussion?) between my son and I.
And we were speaking primarily the "exhaust" valves since they are more frequently tied to catastrophic engine failures.
Historically it has been stated that the wearing in of the valve-seats cause the valves to inch ever closer to the cam.
Left unchecked this seating-in may eventually create a valve stem that has backed right up against the shim/bucket/cam. (i.e. Zero clearance, or worse, negative clearance). Then the seats start to burn/erode and bad things follow.
Back to the argument...
My son's version of the story is that valve seat wear only explains the very small part of the problem. It's actually the valve itself stretching from the constant tap & pull of the spring while the valve is under extreme heat load.
Then he produced a few pictures of industrial engine exhaust valves that had been stretched. Some were so bad that you could actually see a dimple starting to form in the face of the valve as the stem was being pulled backwards out of the valve itself.
Sorry for the long post but jeez, you guys are a tough crowd. (http://www.thereeftank.com/forums/images/smilies/new/trout2.gif)
Valve clearances are a few 1000's of an inch. I doubt any strecthing can take place in that gap.
If it does, valve clearance will be 0 very quick and it stops stretching.
Cool.
Buddha.
Quote from: The Buddha on October 28, 2014, 06:03:28 PM
Valve clearances are a few 1000's of an inch. I doubt any strecthing can take place in that gap.
If it does, valve clearance will be 0 very quick and it stops stretching.
Cool.
Buddha.
Lets say the valve check interval is every 7000 miles.
Granted the first valve lash check on a new bike is the most important.
But even after that one would expect to always be installing slightly shorter shims throughout the life of the engine. Yes?
And in your "opinion" the reason for this is the wearing of the valve seat. Yes?
Pssst... If you agree with me, I win the bet. :whisper:
Well, if stretching were true... then when a valve that was broken due to zero/negative clearance were replaced - wouldn't a newly replaced valve go back to larger shims? (I don't recall that being the case for gsJack's bike)... or is my thinking totally elementary and I should just shut up?
- Bboy
It has been my experience GS exhaust valves set at Suzuki's min .001" (.03mm) clearance will require constant changes to smaller shims as the valves that are running too hot without ample seat cooling time recede into the seats. The tighter one on my 97 was down to a min 215 shim at 80k miles. When my 02 started to follow the same pattern I went to my wider .003-.005" setting and exhaust shim changes were not required much after that almost as good as intakes which required none.
I replaced a broken exhaust valve caused by a too tight bucket at about 20k miles and put in a like new valve (6k miles) using the same shim and got about the same clearance it had before, .002-.001". :dunno_black:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v443/jcp8832/GSvalvelogs_zps55f27f5e.jpg
Valves and seats both wear but I've never seen/heard of them stretching in either bike or car applications. We did a lot of valve work on cars 60-65 years ago that's not required much now.
Thank you for the info.
You fellows have "experience" while I have simply have curiosity on the actual cause and effect.
I'm sure that lots of hobby-grade motorcycle owners such as me have been checking and setting their valve clearances without ever really understanding the what & why of the whole thing.
Thanks again, :cheers:
-Ej-
My 48K miler always needed thicker and thicker shims.
The rest of em - no idea, I never held on to any past 1-2 to have a pattern.
I also had a crows foot shaped scratch on one cam, that scratch got fainter and fainter for the 40K miles I had it. Seemed to make no difference to anything.
I dont believe the recessing into the head is all the wear that occours. I believe shims wear, buckets, tops of the valve as well as the cams themselves wear too. I've measured shims almost measure 1 whole size under. Of course who knows what the shims were in their previous life. Someone may have hit em with a belt sander. I wrote the numbers down as I measured them, and when pulling them out I measured them again. I barely got them to wear. But I needed thicker and thicker.
Maybe my shims got ebola ??? Hey we're back on topic.
Cool.
Buddha.
So far, more Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from ebola.
And the ebola victims suffered less
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on October 29, 2014, 08:35:22 PM
So far, more Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from ebola.
And the ebola victims suffered less
And americans overall have suffered less from Ebola than from Kardashiat.
Cool.
Buddha.
Oooo OOoo I made up another one.
This is more a joke about the media circus 24X7X365 milk it for all its worth even if its a little sneeze ...
This 24X7 wall to wall media coverage of ebola has galvanized the country ...
There fore now, we can all "Not rust".
And needless to say, I walked out to my driveway this morning, and the GS ... all galvanized. Perfect. Even the seat. matches well mith my galvanized butt.
Cool.
Buddha.
Oooo I got some poetry for you.
Works better if you read it out loud in the voice of Krusty the Clown -
Ya ya ya, I'm Jose from Cuba,
Hey hey hey here's my inner tuba,
Whooo whooo I dont have Ebola,
So let me in let me in Mr Obama.
Cool.
Buddha.
(https://i.imgflip.com/d4p2b.gif)
Oooo even funnier in spanglish G-Lo type voice.
I should have made a limerick out of it.
Hey, you guys watch Dora the explorer. What's your favorite episode ??
Dora the Illegal alien ?? In this one Dora gets deported and then sneaks back in.
Dora the anchor baby ?? In this one her parents get deported and dora builds a tunnel to sneak em back in.
Or is it
Dora the wanna be refugee ??? In this one she she rides the beast and makes it to america and asks for permission to stay.
My favorite is Dora the Ebola victim. In this one she starts throwing up and getting sick and dies.
LOL LOL LOL I'm a cruel sadistic A'Hole who'd throw anyone under the bus if it will be funny.
Seriously my favorite one is "Dora the Chicano"
You cant make these really funny and yet close to true jokes unless a mexican helps you.
OK OK that ebola part was just asking for it.
Cool.
Buddha.
Hey you hear about this year's Pakisthani Nobel prize winner ???
Yea her name is Ebola Youzufzhai.
Hey I am an equal opportunity A'Hole.
Cool.
Buddha.
Quote from: The Buddha on October 30, 2014, 10:56:17 AM
Hey you hear about this year's Pakisthani Nobel prize winner ???
Yea her name is Ebola Youzufzhai.
Hey I am an equal opportunity A'Hole.
Cool.
Buddha.
i try to be a nice person, But id laugh. :bowdown:
Man, this Ebola thread has certainly gone viral. (https://doberman-chat.com/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/rofl.gif)
Sick from laughing so hard
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on October 30, 2014, 05:02:08 PM
Sick from laughing so hard
OH, yikes... hopes its not ebola...
- Bboy
9 out of 10 Politicians re-election agree:
We must quarantine Ebola till after the election.
Cool.
Buddha.
(http://jokes.conservativepapers.com/files/2014/10/obama-ebola.jpg)
Yup, he's trying everything he can to not be called president Ebola isn't he.
Coming to think of it, I think I'm the only one who's calling him President Ebola.
Cool.
Buddha.
One more utterly tasteless joke ... sheesh I am going to incur the wrath of ... OK you be the judge whose wrath I'll get ...
And its a true 1 liner ...
See I told you an I-Pad was the gheyest thing there is.
Cool.
buddha.
Quote from: The Buddha on November 03, 2014, 11:59:14 AM
One more utterly tasteless joke ... sheesh I am going to incur the wrath of ... OK you be the judge whose wrath I'll get ...
And its a true 1 liner ...
See I told you an I-Pad was the gheyest thing there is.
Cool.
buddha.
(http://www.websleuths.com/forums/images/smilies/drumroll.gif)
(http://birdsongdreambook.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/statue-of-liberty.jpg)
Ooooo yamahon - you should change the face to Kim Kardashiat ...
OK here is azzhoal joke of the day ... Who am I kidding, there is 50 of these I think up. Some times I even get to type em into this poor forum.
OK so here goes.
Keystone cops find cop killer in a 24/7 100% all hands in man hunt for 8 weeks.
In that time, 35 murders go unsolved.
They said the guy running around killing cop has ebola.
"Yea, that's why we had to hunt him down" they said.
see if you add that "they said" make it more funny.
Cool.
buddha.
Quote from: BockinBboy on October 31, 2014, 06:50:51 AM
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on October 30, 2014, 05:02:08 PM
Sick from laughing so hard
OH, yikes... hopes its not ebola...
- Bboy
side effects from flu shot suck lol. Not ebola bad but still, not fun :embarrassed:
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on November 04, 2014, 06:48:25 PM
Side effects from flu shot suck lol. Not ebola bad but still, not fun :embarrassed:
I am scheduled to get a "shot" tomorrow at work. Gasp! >:(
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on October 31, 2014, 12:17:03 PM
(http://jokes.conservativepapers.com/files/2014/10/obama-ebola.jpg)
Nope, no reason at all to panic. That buzzing you hear in the background, its just for your security. No reason at all to worry. Ebola is african. These bees are african, but they dont have ebola. No reason to worry.
Cool.
buddha.
Hey! I've got an ebola joke... but let's be honest, you probably won't get it.
I'll show myself out
Quote from: Supa on November 11, 2014, 11:22:35 AM
Hey! I've got an ebola joke... but let's be honest, you probably won't get it.
I'll show myself out
Hey, you're right ... I dont get it.
Dont leave, beat that joke till I get it.
Cool.
Buddha.
TVSN Ebola Offer! .. Hey shoppers! Want to work up a sweat and lose weight?!?! , well now you can with our African Extract! .. just drink one small vial of fluid and in weeks you'll notice the difference!!. Ebola weightloss is permanent and you don't have to change your diet or do ANY Exercise AT ALL!!
Want more?! .. well ring now and be in the first 100 callers and we'll throw in a free funeral plan kit! Worth $25! ... you must act fast though because after you use our system you'll be your very own limited time offer! ..
Ring Now! 18-DieHorribly ..
Oh crap they have those in Oz too.
I thought it was paradise or somehting like that.
Cool.
Buddha.
No no no. .. haven't you heard the song by "The Scared Weird Little Guys" ?? ... 'come to Australia, you might not actually get killed' ?
Apart from all the poisonous critters ... and the politicians.. ... umm and the greenies....... oh yeah and the hipsters! .... it is Paradise!
What about used car salesmen ?
How about late night infomercials ??
How about Idiots selling financial systems that will make you rich in 4 mins ???
Cool.
Buddha.
What about Idiots selling stuff for 3 X what its worth, cos they paid 5X what its worth for it 20 years ago.
Then the next week the ylower the $$$ like $5. And say ... reduced, reduced, reduced it should sell in minutes now.
Yea its only 2.99 X over priced dumba$$$.
In Oz they dont have that right ??
OK fine its paradiso.
Hey atleast you dont have illegal mexicans with ebola and Obama who wants to let them in.
Cool.
Buddha.
We have the above excepting Mexicans and Obama. .. lol
Quote from: Janx101 on November 13, 2014, 06:29:25 PM
We have the above excepting Mexicans and Obama. .. lol
That is no problem, we're sending russians instead of Mexicans and believe it or not ... Obama.
Just return Obama when you're done ... On second thought dont bother, there is plety of idiots in congress so he wont be missed.
He prolly prefers partying with you aussies anyway.
Cool.
Buddha.
Heard on radio over weekend that Sir Bob Geldof is thinking of doing another group song thing to raise money for Ebola victims etc. . It would have to be "Rock & Rolla Ebola" wouldn't it?!?! ;)
Have to share it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUzHVIDCbMM
Christmas song about ebola. My favorite lyric (probably of all time): And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
I get that they want to help, but this is just silly now.
Here is one more observation/joke.
You know who is the leader of ISIS (the terrorist group).
His name is ABOOBacker Al Bagdhadi. Yea There is a "BOOB" in his name. I think if your name has the word "BOOB" in it, I'd guess you're parents knew something about you.
Cool.
Buddha.
I've got another joke that proves I am an A$$hoal ...
So, here goes. Its a one liner. And its current news related.
Obama agrees to release the 43 kidnapped students from Immigration reform propaganda video.
Yea I'm a sarcastic prick.
Cool.
Buddha.
Quote from: Janx101 on November 11, 2014, 07:31:28 PM
TVSN Ebola Offer! .. Hey shoppers! Want to work up a sweat and lose weight?!?! , well now you can with our African Extract! .. just drink one small vial of fluid and in weeks you'll notice the difference!!. Ebola weightloss is permanent and you don't have to change your diet or do ANY Exercise AT ALL!!
Want more?! .. well ring now and be in the first 100 callers and we'll throw in a free funeral plan kit! Worth $25! ... you must act fast though because after you use our system you'll be your very own limited time offer! ..
Ring Now! 18-DieHorribly ..
www.ebola.ded
Link broke Yama? :dunno_black:
Quote from: Janx101 on December 07, 2014, 01:53:36 AM
Link broke Yama?
DONT CLICK... It's a Nigerian E-commerce bot-scam! :o >:(
(http://netdna.walyou.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads//2011/04/computer-parts-robot3.jpg)
Hey, I have that robot. Its ded, I mean DED. DED.
I'm a Jenius arent I, with a capital J.
Cool.
Buddha.
Ha ha ha, made up an old people joke.
OK so here goes.
In AZ nothing rusts except the old people that move there. LOL, suntan is the color of rust, more or less.
Hey in AZ everything lasts forever (as per the buddha from this site). Is that why the old people move there, so they can live forever.
LOL, a 2-fer. And I am an ageist now. Or is that AZ-ist.
Cool.
Buddha.
Quote from: The Buddha on December 07, 2014, 10:51:05 AM
Hey, I have that robot. Its ded, I mean DED.
Cool.
Buddha.
Perhaps a bit more "old-school" robot then...
She's an analog. :icon_mrgreen:
(http://s25.postimg.org/6ofi6ipun/Robot_junk.jpg)
Ford V8 289 ci badge!!
Respect!
Batches, we dont need no steenkin batches.
Cool.
Buddha.
OK here is another sicko racist joke.
You guys hear about how in 2042 white people are going to be the minority in the US.
So you know what's gonna happen on Jan 1 2042 ...
Well the light skinned mexicans are gonna change their names from Jose to Joe, and start acting white ... instead of black like they do now.
I swear, I know of a dude called Jairo - Hairo - who's changed his name to Jay already. He's getting a head start.
Cool.
Buddha.