Quote from: JetSwingmust you turn every post into me me me, look at me thread?  :nana:

Jealous, sweetie?  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Ok, everyone..let's make the rest of this thread about JetSwing so that we don't have to listen to him whine!  

Or we could get back on topic  

Quote from: PhaedrusOr we could get back on topic  

Ok...what's YOUR take on salted batteries!?  :nana:

i think this sort of arrest is treading a thin line.  breaking stuff could be a blatant implied threat.  it could also be the closest thing to a reasonable way someone can express their anger under extreme circumstances.

when i was married, i once got really pissed and went in the kitchen and smashed a glass on the counter.  not the best way to let my anger out, but certainly not the worst.

the idea that i would have actually posed any physical threat to my ex is absurd.  though in retrospect i realize she was probably frightened (even though i don't think she had cause to be) and i wish i could have dealt with it better.

if frightening her had been my intention, it would be a different situation, but i was just dealing with extreme anger the best i could at the moment.  fear was an unintended side-effect.

i can't imagine having been arrested for that.  well, if the accuser's fear is genuine, even if the threat isn't, maybe arrest is a reasonable if unfortunate precaution necessary in a situation with people on the edge.  being charged when i had in no way acted maliciously would be going too far, i think.

Quote from: indestructiblemanthe idea that i would have actually posed any physical threat to my ex is absurd.  though in retrospect i realize she was probably frightened (even though i don't think she had cause to be) and i wish i could have dealt with it better.

I think this is a key idea here. The law usually sides with the "victim" (ie. if the victim felt frightened, then it's assault/battery/whatever the charge is). If you like guns and don't feel afraid of them, but you hold one up to someone who *is* afraid of them, then you'll likely be held accountable for acting in a threatening manner.

Quote from: indestructiblemanif frightening her had been my intention, it would be a different situation, but i was just dealing with extreme anger the best i could at the moment.  fear was an unintended side-effect.

Well..to take an example to the extreme, drunk drivers don't mean to get in their cars and kill someone; it's just an unintended side effect. If the result of our dealing with extreme anger is that someone is hurt, frightened, or feels threatened, then we're doing something wrong...

Quote from: indestructiblemanwell, if the accuser's fear is genuine, even if the threat isn't, maybe arrest is a reasonable if unfortunate precaution necessary in a situation with people on the edge.  being charged when i had in no way acted maliciously would be going too far, i think.

If I crash my car into someone because I'm changing my CD, talking on the cell, re-doing my makeup, and finishing up my breakfast, then I'm not acting maliciously, I'm acting stupidly. I am responsible for my stupid behaviour, especially if injury is inflicted on someone else.

If someone raises a fist, they're threatening someone. If someone feels in danger because someone throws a glass against the wall, there's something wrong with the picture. None of us should be acting in a manner that makes someone else feel threatned, *especially* someone we love and care about.

All this being said, my most violent moment was when I threw a bag of chocolate chips at my ex-husband, and I nailed him. I look back on that with great shame, because I obviously didn't control myself. However, the response to that violence is not to return the violence, and--to his great credit--he didn't. It might have seemed silly to arrest a 5'3" woman for attack with a bag of chocolate chips, but if he'd been truly frightened for his safety, I think it would have been appropriate.  :dunno:

Flame away.

your example involve causing unintentional physical harm through carelessness.  i can see why that is criminal.

unintentionally frightening someone through carelessness doesn't seem equivalent to me.

When someone feels threatened, they should flee the situation. Ask any self defense expert and they will tell you that the key to safety is DISTANCE. If you are afraid or you are in a situation that is frightening to you, it is your responsibility to distance yourself from it.

If the person infringed on your rights to flee and distance yourself, they are becoming agressive and are therefore threatening you or putting you in harm's way.

ok, this seem to be one of those threads i some how missed and am way behind.   a person was arrested for domestic violence for busting up his own property.   question is, was this person still hot under the collar when PD arrived? did he see a judge for this? or was it a slot fill to force a temp time out? (get him away from the scene and cooled down)  I cant see it being called domestic violence as it was painted with no contact, unless there was some other word play by the so called Victom.  Disorderly conduct,disturbing the peace (any time,day, or place) or any other number of Creative writeing law enforcement can use to step in.  I garrentee that the other party had other words that the arrestee didnt hear nor could discredit.  If he never laid finger one, or tossed something at this person, there really isnt anything wrong with it, IF he was busting up something that WASNT his then he is nailed.

domestic violence can happen both ways, ive seen plenty of large men beat and busted up by wemen.  ive seen a man defend himself as best he can without hurting the woman who is attacking and still be the one getting arrested for battery. Domestic Violence is a very touchy and a very explosive subject that depends on individual interpritation.  like anything else 2 will never be alike.  

does a husband/wife who is verbaly abusive deserve to get stabed or shot? no, they deserve to be left living alone or finding another place to sleep

now a couple in a heated arguement and one wont let the other out,or move away to leave, or vent, but instead continues to needle or block the others escape route deserve a pop in the mouth? yeah, i could see it.

Ive been there, i know my anger can get beyond reason, when i feel it going nuclear im looking to leave for abit or bust somthing that isnt living to cool down even briefly. ive had a good friend push me to the point i was ready to pee myself in anger but he refused to let me leave or walk away to sort it out later. it wasnt untill i had hands around his neck and lifting him off his feet to MOVE him from my path that he realized i was borderline meltdown. it scared me and upset me it got that far, but i was trying to leave and get away to cool down. he doesnt blame me for what i did, he had me blocked leaving me no way out

Humans no matter how civilized are still animals when it comes to intense anger or pain. emotions.  do i agree with anyone beating hell outa a partner cuz the laundry isnt done? they are broke? someone was flirting around with or even fooled around on them? No, too many routes out of those scenes to justify assualt (yes been there too)

but to get into a mix, and deny a way out or to NOT take a way out. you deserve what you get. your so angry you gotta bust something up NON living, do it, gotta walk away? even better.  your in a mix with someone they are busting something up, let them, better it  then you. they need to leave or walk away? let them,sort it out later or make plans to go seporate ways for good but do it once the storm has passed.