Good luck.  Funny how these same wives don't fret about their husbands doing other "dangerous" things like driving a car or a bicycle, drinking alcohol, smoking, eating fatty foods, recreational drugs or whatever BUT ride a motorcycle? Never!  Silly isn't it.

We are all gonna die, you, me, your wife your kids their kids your pets ect... So why worry about it?  As far as I am concerned riding a bicycle on the street is FAR more dangerous.

I'm going through the same thing although a good bit of the issue is circumvented because of finances (won't be getting a bike for a year at least).  I think it works better this way because my wife has longer to come to grips with and accept the fact that I'm getting a motorcycle.  

Really wouldn't recommend going out and buying one anyway (the "whipped" comment needs to be ignored...).  Pretty irresponsible way to manage a relationship with your SO...

Jon

I don't have a wife... but I have a mother and folks who care a lot about me.  I wanted to ride forever.  Dad rode and he was and still is that type of person that you can do what ever you want, being a girl doesn't matter.  Granted now that I think of it maybe he's like that so he can teach me then he doesn't have to do it again!  

Anyhooo... My dad taught me to ride.  He gives me tips... things like "ride like no one can see you!"  This coming from a guy who drove like maniac!   :mrgreen:

Anyway my arguement was: I was old enough to choose, I would take the MFS class, I would wear the proper gear.  There was also a promise to not ride on the highway.  But that went away!     Also that anything could happen at any time, regardless if I am on a motorcycle or car.

Good luck!
Be safe and smart!

Hi all, I just had to register to answer this one..

For God's sake, don't get the bike without her agreement and just assume she'll get over it eventually! She'll get over the bike, but she won't get over you being a jerk. There is a better solution!

Forgive a little psycho-dribble, but as a woman who's been worried about her man before let me tell you what I think is going on. If she's okay with you taking the MSF course, she's not completely anti-cycle. She's probably more upset that you would take up a life-threatening hobby (yeah, I know, but that's how she sees it I promise you) without her agreement, than she is about the life-threatening hobby itself. I bet her worst fear is that she might say no and put her foot down, and you'll do it anyway. In her mind this would be extremely disrespectful and show some nasty differences in how the two of you view marriage and partnership. Hence the back and forth dance of "You can take the class-don't you get a bike-maybe you can get a bike later-not that bike!" She's scared you'll be a jerk, not scared you'll die on the bike!

So, what to do? She needs to know you'll respect her needs and seriously consider not riding if she's adamant. I know that's not true, but SAY IT ANYWAY! You, however, need to not be whipped. Tell her that having a bike has been a dream of yours since you were a kid (or whatever), and you are so excited to take the class and ride around with your beautiful wife, and you're upset that this dream is causing her so much anxiety. No matter how much you would like to just forget about the bike you can't, and you are afraid you'll start to resent her if she says no to the bike. Say that she is your number one priority but you are worried about the damage to your relationship that her refusal might cause. See where we are going with this...for the sake of your relationship, you need to get a bike!! Then move in for the kill-reassure her that you won't ride if she feels strongly, but ask if there is anything at all you can do to make her feel better about the idea. You will have demonstrated you are not a jerk, and she can save face while she gives in by insisting on the class or safety gear or something. This may take time-be patient. Let her think about it.

If she still says no, you two have serious problems. In that case get the bike, cause that's the only joy you'll be having for a while!

You have to find/know what motivates her...The cost/time/effort savings really motivated my wife cos we had just 1 car and if the bike didn't run she had to gimme a ride to the BART station...10 miles and 1 hour away. But the flip side is that the bikes have to be cheap and you have to ride it to work. Now I do that and so it works just fine. So I have 10 bikes. A few years ago I didn't have the long commutes and the time/effort/money thing didn't work so at that time I bought a bike for her. She got to sit on it ride, decide she can ride it, think of how she can paint/pin stripe it...I got it and she really didn't get into it much and I ended up selling it a year later but every so often I would buy something with her as the main rider. Now with the 5 month old she believes she and he will take up riding at the same time. Woohooo... But you have to address her concern, if its safety, not acting like a bonehead when you see a bike helps...Yes whipped I am, flame on werase...
Cool.
Srinath.
PS I am telling Your wife werase about the 20 year old blonde...

I know that my wife will never believe that bikes are safe but she does know now that I'll ride as responsibly as possible. At first she was really against me getting a bike too but after taking the safety course and talking to her a lot about how much I wanted to do it, she has recognized that it is something I needed to do just like there are things she does that I don't like. Of course none of this stops her mocking me at every opportunity.
It may take some time.
Good luck.

Yup, my lady isn't fond of the bikes, but I've been riding bikes longer than we've been together. Even so, I get the occasional dispproving looks and lectures. Her family lives in giant plastic bubbles and do nothing out of the "ordinary" to risk bodily harm. She won't get on the bike. I always have to hear how dangerous it is, and her father is a medical examiner so I get all the graphic stories of autopsies he's performed on motorcycle accident victims. Fantastic.

I tried getting her into it, so we went to the racetrack and she actually really enjoyed watching the bikes race (though I had to hear how dangerous it is every 30-45 seconds). I thought I was making some progress until some squid on an R1 wearing jeans and a t-shirt went down at over 100mph in front of her house and left his top 4 layers of skin in her driveway. She was home to see it and call 911. Back to square one.

Anyhow, I guess that doesn't help you much. But maybe this will - take her shopping, buy her some shoes, visit her mother - whatever, as long as it's something she enjoys. On the way home make a point of stopping in the bike shop just to look around (make sure it's a nice shop!!). It'll be a nice day together (unless you visit her mother, he he - JK), you both get to do something you enjoy and maybe she'll take it as a sign that you want to include her and that you're willing to compromise.

Or buy the bike and store it in an undisclosed location!! Have a buddy with a garage?

I do agree that the worst thing to do would be to buy one without her OK.  Consider bribery!  Like "you let me get a bike and I'll give you a foot rub every night for a year."

ok i took this route.
she knew i had rode for years and that i wanted a bike, but we didn't have loads of cash to throw around.

First off i used the commuting argument. I can park right outside my building for free instead of paying 85 bucks a month.

the second thing i did was find an old bike and picked it up for 150 bucks and began restoring it.  it was a little 1967 yamaha 180cc so i think that helped as well because i didn't immediately try to go out and get a crotch rocekt or anyting that had more displacement than our car.  

I've had that bike for the past three years and she saw that i rode it responsibly and more importantly she saw how much enjoyment i got out of tinkering, modding, etc.  Unfortunately last fall it suffered from a common ailment for 35 year old bikes,  I could no longer find crucial parts anywhere.  I'd been talking to my wife for a bit about the GS and she agreed to let me get one with part of our tax return.


so  in summary
1.  i started talking to her about bikes years ago
2.  i found one cheaply and began to tinker
3.  i talked to her about safety.
4.  i acted responsibly
5.  i included her in everything i did.



jake

The lesson here for those of you yet unattached is: Work out what is important to you before you get into a serious relationship; don't take up with someone who doesn't believe as you do (and I'm not talking just about bikes); compromise where it doesn't matter, stay firm where it does; at least try to appear reasonable if you can't actually be reasonable.
I was lucky- my wife insisted I get a bike.

life is to short to have someone denying you that fun
when your 80 and look back you thinks ooow i wish i had driven a motorcycle

I had mentioned getting a bike now and then over the last few years, but never seriously.  One of my friends started riding, so I went home and said "Honey, would it be okay with you if I got a bike sometime?  Just say the word, and I'll never mention it again but if you're okay with it I'm going to start doing research on bikes."

 She thought for a second and said "Yeah, that's okay with me."  "Really?!  Great!"

 I read everything I could find for a year and occasionally reported to her what I learned.  Then, I bought a bike 2 months before the MSF class and had the owner drive it into my shed.  I promised to do no more than sit on it until the class.  The fact that I vowed to respect her opinion, took my time investigating, and kept my promises made a big difference.

 She's given me an absolute moratorium on riding in the rain.  She's wrong, but I respect her anyway so I don't ride in the rain  :mrgreen: Probably as a result though she was okay with me riding all winter in New England, as long as I vowed not to ride when there was ice anywhere on the road.  If I wanted to freeze my butt off that was my business

Trev

I am thinking about they Harley Davidsom commercial where the old man is sitting talking to his grandkids about how he had a HD when he was younger.  One of the kids asks "where's the bike now?" and the old man says "I traded it for some vinyl siding" then frowns.  The kids lose interest and leave.

Who here wants to be that old man?

in no particular order
1) see if she wants her own bike
2) include her, show her what you are looking at and what you'd settle for, assume she can retain bike stats and info  
3) if you have friends/group to ride with, make sure they are spouse/gf friendly and supportive, see if any of them are good with pillion riders, and if they will take her along until you are ready to have her on your bike if you and she so desire (even if she only goes with 1 outta 10 times, she'll feel included)
4) take her with to get safety gear, girls like comparison shopping lol, doesn't matter what for
5) cave on color, for the bike, gear whatever.  if she likes purple get purple even if you wanted the red one. (if there is a choice)  honestly this worked for a friend, he wanted green or orange, but he got the purple coz his lady liked it better, so now he has bike.
6) make sure she knows you aren't replacing her... is there anything she'd like to do that wouldn't include you? classes? hobbies?  support it!
7) share your enthusiasm. tell her all the good stuff without scaring her, and make sure that she knows that telling her your adventures at the end of it is part of the fun.

It is probably very hard for non-riders to see the "reward" of riding over the "risk."

The following helps me to understand my own motivation:

"Man is preoccupied with freedom, yet laden with handicaps.  The breadth of his activity and experience is narrowed by the limitations of his relatively weak, sluggish body.  The motorcycle, by virtue of its awesome physical gifts, frees the rider from himself.  When a bike and a rider fly over the road together, there are moments in which the rider's mind weds itself to the bike's body to form something greater than the sum of both parts.  The bike partakes of the rider's cunning; the rider partakes of the bike's supreme power.  For the rider, the saddle is a place of unparalleled exhilaration, of transcendence."

(Adapted from Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand)

Not everybody is going to be able to relate to Hillenbrand's sentiments, but even a glimmer of appreciation could lead to understanding . . .

Quote from: johnI am thinking about they Harley Davidsom commercial where the old man is sitting talking to his grandkids about how he had a HD when he was younger.  One of the kids asks "where's the bike now?" and the old man says "I traded it for some vinyl siding" then frowns.  The kids lose interest and leave.

Who here wants to be that old man?

I think I'd rather have vinyl siding than a Harley!!! Ha!! Just Kidding, any bike is better than no bike. Especially a vintage XR750 flat tracker. Grrrrr!

well I bought the GS by my own, thus going around my folks who were a bit against. Actually my mom and dad were okay but it was just that everyone else in my extended family was against it.. yes 2 of them ar edoctors at Kaiser and have seen their fair share of ppl in ER. But then what did I do.. yes I bought the freaking bike.. and said to myself that i would deal with things later.

Believe it or not, they all got to liking the bike. Once they realised it wasnt a plastic rocket or what they imagined it to be they were totally fine. The GS looks very docile..

Anyway with my parents i basically said I was getting it for school. While that was the truth that didnt stop me from riding it elsewhere. But it still is a bike for school, I ride it everyday to school rain or shine. I hate parking there, so the bike it the only way to go.

As for vanessa, she is cool with it. Her mom didnt like the idea but she is getting used to it. Vanessa wants to start riding soon. I have to put her in an MSF class at some point.

Hmmm, I should have held out longer huh?  I could have scored free foot rubs for a year!

I'm sure to remind my husband quite often how lucky he is that I don't give him a hard time about riding!

Exis - hopefully she'll agree to take the MSF course too and get addicted. Then, you just have to worry about how you're going to afford a bike for her too!

It's funny I went through the oppisite thing.  

My girlfriend ecouraged me to get the GS as her dad rides aswell.  He rides a Buell Lightning.

Anyway I was umming and arrring whether or not to get the GS, just becuase I was wanting something a little older (cheaper) as I still have a car.  And then she gave me the whole "you know before you know it you'll old and crusty, you may as well enjoy yourself".  

The vision of that scared me enough to buy one, and I'm glad.

Maybe you can use this. It's aimed at parents, but you could just change the words.

http://will.mylanders.com/outdoors/motorcycle/notes/read.pl?file=184