A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard
walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey
"Hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded
friend."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have
another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and
that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the
lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile
sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree,
smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his
mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a
drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has
to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the
monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey,
MONKEY!"

The Monkey looks down and says "FUUUUCCK, DUDE....... how much water
did you drink?"

  so i just read that as a client walked in and i looked at him and laughed...oops.

   Nice...  I like that.

While we're telling 'animals on drugs' jokes, here's a classic:

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel So good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! ... Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shaZam! out of the rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this?! He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little fucker! He makes me run around the forest like an idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"

LOL!

Ecstasy. . .<looks quietly at the floor, smiling>

Quote from: Jake D on March 07, 2006, 03:04:43 PM
LOL!

Ecstasy. . .<looks quietly at the floor, smiling>

Jake D! 

Quote from: Jake D on March 07, 2006, 03:04:43 PM
LOL!

Ecstasy. . .<looks quietly at the floor, smiling, because it's swirling around and changing colors. Can anybody else see that music that's playing?>

hahahaha...