I rode my motorcycle a long way yesterday. I rode so far, in fact, that I saw Amish people playing baseball. Which was too bizarre to make up on my own. I was in a town called Jamesport, Missouri.

Jamesport is a long way from Kansas City, even by car. I can assure you that it is a long way on a Honda Superhawk 996. Especailly on back roads.  I came rolling through town and saw about 8 horse drawn buggies, black and boxy, parked on the side of the road. The horses still attached, staring off into landscape. You can see a long way into the distance from the Jamesport Amish Stadium. Rolling hills with small hand built houses, interrupted by creeks and fence lines, crowded with trees, no doubt planted during the dust bowl to slow down the wind. Next to me was the make shift baseball field. The bases were maybe sixty feet apart and the back stop was only as tall as a grown man. It was made from a rope netting. There were Amish men with their half beards, women in blue and white dresses, and children, all playing together. The men and children still wore the black pants, dress shirts and suspenders. They used those small dark brown baseball mitts, the kind my dad used growing up in the '50's. I saw the catcher do a double take and look at me as I sped by. He was a large Amish guy with a blond beard and a pale yellow shirt on under his black suspenders. I wanted to stop and watch, but I felt that would have been a big ask, like I would somehow scare them in my plastic and leather clothes, or steal their souls and their sense of calm.

Jamesport is just off Route 6, between Gallitan and Trenton. I was looking for a state park that I can't remember the name of. I never found the state park and never really saw much civilization. Which includes a gas station. I started to realize I needed to buy gas about a half hour later. There were no towns to speak of, just Amish buggies, hugging the right shoulder of the road. There are two things to notice about Amish buggies: the horses look really cool at full trot, with their manes snapping in the wind and their heads cocked back; and buggies leave white chalky tracks on the road. I don't know why they leave tracks, but they do.

I rode into a town called Lock Springs, Missouri. I didn't see a single motorized vehicle there. There was no gas station and no other stores, to speak of. I only saw one person as I slowed through town. He was walking through a grove of trees towards this large monument in the middle of town. The monument was near the road side and carved out of pink stone. It was the size of a garage door and rounded on top, like a head stone. It read, "Lock Springs, Missouri. The birthplace of Jeff Lipton." At least that is what I think it said. Lock Springs is a mystery. There were no signs indicating it was there at all, and I doubt it appears on any map. It would be hard for me to even find it again, I am sure. It was like finding Narnia in the back of a wardrobe, or the Blue World underneath the drain in the bottom of a swimming pool. I don't know who Jeff Lipton was, but I'd like to imagine that he was just a kid, who managed to find his way out of Lock Springs and make his way down the road to Gallitan or some other big city I went through, like Alamont or Perrin. And in honor of his departure, they erected a permanent monument to him, hoping one day he would return with an empty glass Coke bottle, or some other vestige of civilization, and run for mayor. For his sake I hope he never does.

I rode another thirty miles, keeping a watchful eye on the gas gauge, which was already on empty. I followed the chalky buggy wheel tracks first west and then north as the road turned again and again. I found myself back on Route 6, not a mile from where I first gone south through Jamesport. I was happy to find a gas station in Alamont and even happier to find my way back to the interstate.

Maybe the strangest thing I saw, other than the Amish baseball game, was one buggy that was stopped in the middle of the road. The horse was still attached and stood there shuffling his hooves. The buggy had a "Chevy Heartbeat of America" sticker on its small, diamond shaped rear window. I passed them on the left, going about 40. I was able to peek inside as I went by. There was a big Amish guy inside with a pale blue shirt on. A girl sat on his lap, holding what looked like a brown beer bottle with no label. I'd like to think that, knowing all the other Amish were busy playing baseball, he decided to sneak off with his girlfriend for a beer and a some snussy. Good luck, Micah. Good luck.

Wow, that is pretty bizzar

Hahaha dude, Jake...that post was bitchin.

Well crafted my friend, well crafted.

-Turd.

Tryin' to kill some time. 

You know, if I had somebody to ride with most of the time, I wouldn't feel compelled to share stories on here.  Destro is so busy with his babies and stuff that he has to ride at dawn and is done before I wake up!

Quote from: Jake D on August 21, 2006, 11:46:31 AM
Destro is so busy with his babies and stuff that he has to ride at dawn and is done before I wake up!

Stupid babies  !!! Oopsy, time for a proud parent moment! How could you not want to spend time with these cuties!



But now I have the AudioBoss so the wife can keep track of me while on my rides.  Also useful for when your riding buddy rides off while you are strapping on your helmet 

I had no reason to believe that your helmet needed to be strapped on.  And also, I came back for you. 

So does that mean that your wife can find you at any time now when you're riding?  I need one of those things.  Just not for the same reason. 

Your kids are cute. 

Thanks, about the kids.  It allows you to hook up a cell phone, walkie talkie and mp3 player.  I thought it would be useful for the longer rides we will be attempting soon ( ) but wanted to give it a try before talking you into getting one.  Found it on ebay for $155 shipped.  I will give a full report when I have it set up. 

I searched Lock Springs and Jeff Lipton.  About all I got was that the census showed 69 people with a median income of 21,500.
Sounds like my hometown.  If I'm any example, I got news for them, Jeff ain't coming back.

ah yes, the amish...
have them all over the place here. the teenagers will "glam" up their buggies with "flashy" things, kinda like we do when we are teenagers, trying to be the "coolest"
lol, i saw one that had 5 or 6 different rear view mirrors on it.
and they always wave

I searched too.  The most I could come up with was the census data.  The city limit sign does read 69.  But there is no other information available on line.

One of those places you could disappear to.

If you are lucky "Witness".
If you are not lucky "Misery".

 



Was that Kelly McGillis?  (sp?)

Kelly McGillis in her prime years.
Also Kathy Bates in her prime years.

I just pictured Kathy Bates naked and now there is alittle bit of puke stuck in my sinues.  Thanks.

Actually, she was in some movie with Nicholson and they showed her getting into a hot tub naked.     Booowaaaaaaaa!! 

Well thanks for that picture...

But I live near the Amish here in Pennsylvania and you get used to it. Although the bumper sticker is new. Check out the wikipedia article on the Amish its an interesting read.