Subject: My grandson in a few years

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with  one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your  problem?"
Harry answered,  "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My  sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is!  I think I should be in third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took Harry  to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the  teacher explained to the
principal
what the situation was. The principal told the  teacher he would give the boy
a test and if he failed to answer any of his  questions he was to go back to
the first-grade and behave.  The teacher agreed. Harry  was brought in and the
conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the  test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry:  "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry:  "36".

And so it went with every question the principal  thought a third-grader
should know.  The principal looks at the teacher and tells  her, "I think Harry
can go to the third-grade."  The teacher says to the principal,  "Let ME ask him
some questions?"  The principal and Harry both  agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have  only two of?
Harry: "Legs".

Teacher: "What is in your pants  that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, why does she ask  such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets".

Teacher: "What does a dog do that  a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants".

Teacher: "What's starts with a C  and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish  liquid?"
(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop  the
answer....)
Harry: "Coconut".

Teacher: "What goes in hard and  pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry:  "Bubblegum".

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do  sitting down and a dog  do on three legs?"
(The principal's  eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...)
Harry:  "Shake hands".

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of  questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yup".

Teacher: "You stick your poles  inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do."
Harry:  "Tent".

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me  when you're bored. The
best man always has me  first."
(Principal was looking restless and a  bit tense)
Harry: "Wedding Ring".

Teacher: "I come in many sizes.  When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,
you feel good."
Harry:  "Nose".

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I  come with a quiver."
Harry: "Arrow".

Teacher: "What word starts with an  'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of
excitement?"
Harry: "Fire  truck".

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the  teacher,  "Put his ass
in the FIFTH-grade, I got the last dozen questions wrong  myself."

Let me guess, you've been telling this one since they kicked you out of fifth grade (thank goodness the right to public education ends at 21--I just pity that poor fifth grade teacher who had to see your face again, and again, and again....)

Chilly Willy.........I ain't been done done yew no harm. Why is yore pee pee hard fer me tonite?
I needs to git to bed. We gonna git up early..........gotta change the tires on the house tomorrow.

Just another one of those "Hollywood Jews" gunning for your ass, sweet cheeks!    

Quote from: Old Mr. Wilson on September 23, 2006, 08:41:05 PM
Chilly Willy.........I ain't been done done yew no harm. Why is yore pee pee hard fer me tonite?
I needs to git to bed. We gonna git up early..........gotta change the tires on the house tomorrow.

Oh and the joke was funy too

 

Quote from: blue05twin on September 23, 2006, 08:51:02 PM

Quote from: Old Mr. Wilson on September 23, 2006, 08:41:05 PM
Chilly Willy.........I ain't been done done yew no harm. Why is yore pee pee hard fer me tonite?
I needs to git to bed. We gonna git up early..........gotta change the tires on the house tomorrow.

Oh and the joke was funy too

actually the joke WAS funny imho

x

and deliver said opinions differently

Well I thought it was funny, s'pose we'er off to the farm then.......

aye joke was hilarious, cal, actually i like omw in a way, perhaps i might disagree how he delivers his iopinions, but ehy each person is there own person not anyone elses

Atta boy!!!   

Quote from: TadMC on September 24, 2006, 12:00:34 AM
No offence to you North Western sensitivitites (not a real word) but jebus christ, yall need to f%$king lighten up. The United States has several different opinions in it. No I know you think everyone should think and act like you, but unfortunately thats not the way the real world f%$king works... You guys need to f%$king chill out about what OMW says, hes never insulted anyone on this board (that i know of) IN  fact hes a relitively nice guy.  A lot less judgemental than a few of you.

OMW has a point with the money grubbing bastards in Hollywood movie studios.  They do alot that is stereotypical jewness...  what's a stereotypical jew.. some one who pinches pennies, some one who would sell his sole to make a nother buck.. OMW isnt saying anything bad about jews, hes saying they are acting like stereotypical jews..... Do you guys find the term WIGGA' insulting and offencive although the term refers to the stereotypical NIGGA.... come on.. you pick need to pick your battles better and f%$k with someone that really is mean spirited... Because OMW isnt a mean guy... SOME TIMES PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS THAN YOU... GET f%$kING USED TO IT

You haven't been hanging out in the TF much, have you.  Try the White and Nerdy thread

Quote from: TadMC on September 24, 2006, 12:00:34 AM
No offence to you North Western sensitivitites (not a real word) but jebus christ, yall need to f%$king lighten up. The United States has several different opinions in it. No I know you think everyone should think and act like you, but unfortunately thats not the way the real world f%$king works... You guys need to f%$king chill out about what OMW says, hes never insulted anyone on this board (that i know of) IN  fact hes a relitively nice guy.  A lot less judgemental than a few of you.

OMW has a point with the money grubbing bastards in Hollywood movie studios.  They do alot that is stereotypical jewness...  what's a stereotypical jew.. some one who pinches pennies, some one who would sell his sole to make a nother buck.. OMW isnt saying anything bad about jews, hes saying they are acting like stereotypical jews..... Do you guys find the term WIGGA' insulting and offencive although the term refers to the stereotypical NIGGA.... come on.. you pick need to pick your battles better and f%$k with someone that really is mean spirited... Because OMW isnt a mean guy... SOME TIMES PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS THAN YOU... GET f%$kING USED TO IT

You're kidding, right? If so, that was funny.

I'm not sure where OMW's starting post turned into a racial/ethnic/political discussion.   
In this case, he delivered the perfect joke, there is nothing overtly offensive about it.  It is offensive only in what filth is in your own mind. 
Personally I haven't seen one this good in a long time.

If you have an issue with OMW's opinions, raise hell when he expresses them, he does it often enough.
In this case, it's a good joke that hurts no one.  Enjoy it for what it is.  Maybe you'll enjoy life a bit more.