Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.
- George Burns   

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front
yard when the boy saw a honeybee. He ran over and
stomped it. "That was a honey bee," his father said,
"one of our friends. For stomping him you will do
without honey for a week." Later the boy saw a
butterfly, so he ran over and stomped it. "That was a
butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and
for stomping him you will do without butter for a
week." The next morning the family sat down for
breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast with no honey
or butter. Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the
stove. His mother stomped it. The boy looked at his
father and said, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or
should I?"