Ok...maybe that's a bit dramatic...I just hate douchebag preachers.  I'm getting married May 17.  My preacher has known about it for a year.  We asked him a year ago to do the ceremony...he was like "great! I'd love to!"  He tells me TUESDAY...as in two days ago...that he can't marry us because Kalee and I live together.

Now I understand that some people think a man and a woman shouldn't live together before they're hitched.  I respect that.  I have no problem with it at all.  But it seems like if it's an issue that is this important to him he might just maybe mention BEFORE it's too late to find someone else to do the ceremony.

I'd also like to know who the hell he thinks he is to judge?!  A preacher should know that it's God's privilege alone to judge us.  I've also never seen a passage that says it's sinful...though I would love it if someone could direct me to such a section of text.

Get the mayor to marry you and avoid all the religious bullshit.   

I have a problem with people who use their religion as an excuse to be total assholes. 

G'luck!   

WE want to do it in a town where the mayor and I don't see eye to eye...he runs the local ford dealership and is a con-artist.

I'm friends with all the local JP's and judges...it took quite a lot of calls to chase down someone who could do it but they finally got me in touch with the right people.  It's no longer a religious sort of thing, which is a downer on some levels...we are God-fearing...but we'll deal with it.  They just try and make it too complicated.

Cool!  Well, enjoy your freedom while you still have it.   

 I'm not very 'religious' as you probably know    however I got married last year. Some kinda priest/jesus man was there layin down his mojo and bringin the lord down on us and all    Now that it is all said and done... none of that mattered! It was all about me and my wife  It was our day! its a day to be VERY VERY SELFISH!  Dont make any part of your wedding an issue  Its only ONE DAY! sit back, relax and let someone else worry about it  you and Kaylee should have a no stress day! Sit back and enjoy it! shaZam! will happen! and things may go wrong, but all in all HAVE FUN!. I think most people put too much thought into their wedding day and it just ruins it.

And..

Congratulations!  I wish you both the best 

Congrats a little early Mak!!

thanks folks!

Scott...Kalee is a worrier...which always carries the visual connotation of her walking around with a battle-axe but that joke is much better when you're not reading it (worrier vs. warrior).  I could remove the world from her shoulders and she'll worry about where it's gone.

Kalee is a woman, right?



Just kidding, congraduations and good luck!!!

Congrats, Mak!

A couple of my students are getting married in May.  They had the bride's brother get a mail-order reverend title so that he could marry them.  You could do that pretty easily if there's a special person you want to perform the ceremony.

My wife and I wanted to get married on top of a mountain but we couldn't find anyone to do it on the day we wanted.  So we went there anyway and married ourselves at sunset, then paid $25 the next day to make it official!  Do it your way.

And change pastors!  Enough of that noise...

I'd also like to know who the hell he thinks he is to judge?!  A preacher should know that it's God's privilege alone to judge us.  I've also never seen a passage that says it's sinful...though I would love it if someone could direct me to such a section of text.
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Well, you asked for it and I'll oblige.  "For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:


1Th 4:4  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;


1Th 4:5  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God"

1 thessalonians 4:3-5.  From the ol holy bible.  I know what he means and being a god fearing man, I understand both sides of the argument.  I know both pastors that will marry you even if he considers you "in sin" and others that say otherwise.  You gotta at least respect his reasoning but not necessarily the way he went about things.  That I consider quite awful.

uh oh here come the flamers now. btw bombadillo i was gfetting ready  to post the exact same things 

Well I am not religious but obviously it means something to you, In my mind the guy has behaved very poorly. Go ahead, have a civil do and look around for a preacher/clergyman/priest, whatever flavour you prefer and have a blessing later.

What the heck! two parties!!

aye, can always "renew your vows soon thereafter"

Congrats to Mak and Kalee

Mak sounds like he's got it under control, as long as you both understand in the end it's all about the 2 of you maybe it'll help take the sting out of a civil union instead of a religous ceremony.

Quote from: bombadillo on March 27, 2008, 10:06:28 PM
Well, you asked for it and I'll oblige.  "For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:


1Th 4:4  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;


1Th 4:5  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God"

1 thessalonians 4:3-5.  From the ol holy bible.  I know what he means and being a god fearing man, I understand both sides of the argument.  I know both pastors that will marry you even if he considers you "in sin" and others that say otherwise.  You gotta at least respect his reasoning but not necessarily the way he went about things.  That I consider quite awful.

I've always been able to find obscure "no sex before marriage" references but I still don't see a "no sharing the same roof" reference...and, quite frankly, the "no sex" boat sailed long before the roof did.

Quote from: makenzie71 on March 27, 2008, 06:13:54 PM
Ok...maybe that's a bit dramatic...I just hate douchebag preachers.  I'm getting married May 17.  My preacher has known about it for a year.  We asked him a year ago to do the ceremony...he was like "great! I'd love to!"  He tells me TUESDAY...as in two days ago...that he can't marry us because Kalee and I live together.

Now I understand that some people think a man and a woman shouldn't live together before they're hitched.  I respect that.  I have no problem with it at all.  But it seems like if it's an issue that is this important to him he might just maybe mention BEFORE it's too late to find someone else to do the ceremony.

I'd also like to know who the hell he thinks he is to judge?!  A preacher should know that it's God's privilege alone to judge us.  I've also never seen a passage that says it's sinful...though I would love it if someone could direct me to such a section of text.

Firstly, congratulations ! You're a big boy, and already know all the crap about bumps in the road, blah blah blah, so I"ll save it.

So the preacher, who is not to judge but only to help, not to lead but only to guide, not to take but only to GIVE (well, old day preachers gave more than took anyway), always to raise and never to condescend, and most of all- not to PREACH but to speak as God has spoken to him/her.... wants you to continue to live together instead of marrying ? Wow. That's genius. Pat him on the back and let him know just how genius a judge he is, instead of a human.

He'll site some scripture  about not living together or whatever, and you can ask him if he never looks longingly at all those hot young brides he's married that are surely virgins, perfectly clean, not yet touched by man or beast, and never masturbated. Now, since he can't honestly say he's never done any of those things, never ever ever told a lie, and never used his status as tha preacha man to gain anything, sure, he's right and you two should never be married, right  ? Because you, uhm, loved each other ? Sure, ok. I see the logic. Pure logic.

Maybe if the church was given a couple million dollars for it's new sanctuary, parking lot, gymnasium, whatever, he could look the other way. I've seen it happen. He's as cheap as a 2 dollar whore.

Now then, I've voiced my opinion somewhat about organized religion, preachers, and politics, run off to the beach and let the justice do it for you. Or the mountains, or Hawaii, or wherever. It doesn't matter, so long as the paper is signed. For that matter some people enjoy fidelity without a piece of paper at all.

Enjoy the trust you and your new wife will share. It's a fantastic thing. The kids will come (or wont) soon, the money will go (or wont) and the life will fly right by. Been with my wife for hmm... 8 years now, only 2 of which were married. Do either of us care what some cornbread, closet drinkin preacher thinks of it ? Not really. We're happy (or mad, or fighting about whatever) together and really enjoy knowing we didn't use a preacher.

ps- the preacher of a former church (now disbanded or whatever) who we THOUGHT we wanted to marry us has since been divorced, (his wife left him for another WOMAN), the church foreclosed upon (the money was always an issue) and they never called either of us by the right FIRST or LAST names when they called on us for more tithes for the building fund( s ). I see more buildings, taller steeples, and better dressed preachers everyday. They drive really nice cars now too. The one thing I DONT see is them helping out a guy in a bar, fixing a sink for an elderly lady with no money, or cutting their own f%$king grass.

mmm, turned into a rant. sorry 'bout that. you do your thing, bow to your lady, keep her a lady, and she'll keep you fat n happy too.

Quote from: Cal Price on March 28, 2008, 12:09:07 AM
Well I am not religious but obviously it means something to you, In my mind the guy has behaved very poorly. Go ahead, have a civil do and look around for a preacher/clergyman/priest, whatever flavour you prefer and have a blessing later.

What the heck! two parties!!

+1

congrats mak!

Quote from: makenzie71 on March 28, 2008, 04:17:49 AM

Quote from: bombadillo on March 27, 2008, 10:06:28 PM
Well, you asked for it and I'll oblige.  "For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:


1Th 4:4  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;


1Th 4:5  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God"

1 thessalonians 4:3-5.  From the ol holy bible.  I know what he means and being a god fearing man, I understand both sides of the argument.  I know both pastors that will marry you even if he considers you "in sin" and others that say otherwise.  You gotta at least respect his reasoning but not necessarily the way he went about things.  That I consider quite awful.

I've always been able to find obscure "no sex before marriage" references but I still don't see a "no sharing the same roof" reference...and, quite frankly, the "no sex" boat sailed long before the roof did.

Again 1 thess 5:22 "abstain from every appearance of evil" 

Like I said, I don't necessarily agree with the pastor on every point, I'm just showing you where most of them will get their backing biblically.  As stated above I'm a god fearing man, go to church every week, but I don't believe that the box I go to is gonna save me.  Its a relationship between me and the lord and my wife would tell you the same.  I tell people the same thing, don't screw around before you're married, and don't tempt yourself by living with the person either, but ultimately its not my decision, its theirs and they will deal with any issues because of it.  Congratulations on the marriage I'm sure you're gonna be happy with her, and don't let some jerk of a pastor ruin your wedding day because of it.   

Mak, as someine else mentioned you can have someone "ordained" and they can perform the ceremony. I wanted to do that at my wedding but you cant in PA.. most states you can have almost anyone mary you 

I think having a friend or relative ordained and do it would be awesome! and cheaper than paying some priest