You Guys are my shoulder at the moment ,  Hard to talk to people , i just feel like breaking down ,and now it feels like my relationship is hitting the pan , she txt me just once , not answering my calls, just feels like im being left in the dark ,

Its just a mess up at the moment , im riding faster than i would before , im caring less about my safety , i love her and i love Rory , even tho hes left me for the while , ill see him again in heaven one day ,

Just cant work out why shes pushing me away , it hurts ,and it seems like she doesnt even give a shaZam! ,

99% of men would probly run away from this , and i dont want to , im going to be here for her and , she just seems to throw it back in my face

Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 13, 2008, 10:58:56 AM
she just seems to throw it back in my face

i don't think so.......  i don't mean to sound harsh or if i comes off that way but a mother loosing a child , would be the the worst thing to happen , she just needs time , SHE WILL COME AROUND!   Just be there when she calls !

i do agree that most guys would have run by now but stick with it and just be patient !!!!!!



oh and jay ........ please take it easy on the bike ... i know your feeling a weath of emotions right now but DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES WITH YOU'RE SAFETY PLEASE!!!!

I completly no what ur saying , i knew him for 3 months, she had him for 9 , she birthed him and raised him alone for 6 months ,  i do understand that i cant feel what shes feeling , but i cant see why sher would want to push me away from it all , i mean im ment to be her rock and her One and only ,



i no its just a matter of time , it just hurts but i suppose i just gotta deal with it , im not sure how Blanking me helps

i don't think most guys would have run by now. i think it is a feminist urban legend that men are less sensitive or caring for children.  we just show it differently and don't wear our hearts on our sleeves.  jay is doing the right thing by talking about it and we are doing the right thing by sharing ours with him

Jay............one day we will all pass from this earth. It's just a matter of when. Life isn't fair and when something like this comes along of this magnitude some are shaken much more than others. This woman lost her child. She had a tremendous bond with her beautiful baby and now it's gone. She's had a giant hole torn in her heart. Her mind will probably be "extremely" occupied with this for quite some time. Time will heal some of the pain but it will never be forgotten. You are hurt as well but it isn't the same kind of hurt. When a man loses his Momma, it's not the same as losing his wife. Both are extremely painful, but both are different kind of "pain". At this time the both of you are in pain, but not the same kind of pain. Allow each of you mourn in their own way. Give her some time and give her some space.
It is my wish that you yourself do some healing on the inside and "let it go". I know that is easy for one to say that is "on the outside" but you must. She "will come around" after her healing process..........."or not". You have a huge big ole life ahead of you. Sometimes we are called upon to "be a man". This is one of those times. Your friend.

U make alot of sense , i think im just taking it really hard , i just miss her , i just think everytime , its me being selfish , i dunno what to do

Very well said Wilson 

Keep your head together Jay, It will work itself out... whatever the outcome is you cant change it by being harder on yourself  Take some time to relax your mind and get away from worrying about it 

Your Advice is Easyly as good as ur cooking Wilson , and i think everyone loves ur Food

very sage stuff man, well written. be patient jay, this is a major clusterfuck that happened ( emotionally), shes still grieving, and will be for a while. who knows how long m8, but let her know, youre " there for her" and to reach out if/when needed", and then give her her space

You're not being selfish, Jay. You and your sweetheart are both lost and hurting right now. It's always so difficult to tell how we'll deal with grief and sorry. Some of us gather everyone around us that we can and cry. Others push everyone away and try to deal with it alone. As everyone's said... keep being as patient as you can...

I can't tell you how very sorry I am that you're going through this pain and suffering. I join *everyone* here in wishing you peace and healing. <3

I thought .. i dunno , i feel selfish , i asked her why shes pushing me away , and why she is being so cold towards me .. and now i feel like a duck ,

I will never ever truly understand what its like to birth a child alone , and raise that boy alone .. until a man called Jay walks in your life , all happy , and then you find out that your nans dying of cancer , and then your son get taken away between our 21st birthdays ,  i think its all hit home, but im hurting to , and from where im her rock and destany , to being in the dark completely

Theres been points in my life i should have been dead.. when i was 4 i stuck a fork in a plug socket and got shocked i lived , Ive been hit By 3 cars crossing roads , (One was because i wanted to kill myself and walked out infront of it , I got up , said it was all my fault to the driver , the look in her eye said it all , selfish selfish mistake ) not a single bone broken in any of these accidents ,  i was shot for no reason with a airrifle , but i got shot in the back , i swarm out in the sea to save a young girl drowning , and my body shut down , and i froze , and how i got back to the shore with me and her ill never know , she went to hospital and made a full recovery ,  i got mugged at knife point , and i had a 9 inch knife pushed against my tummy , and i managed to push him away and run away.

Ill never ever no why i was saved , i think god had plan for me , and he does , its to protect Dannielle and make her happy , and it feels like i cant even do anything ,

Just hurts

Like I said before Jay, life will not be the same after this.  This is a life changing event for both you and her.  My wife and I tried for a year to have a baby before she finally got pregnant.  She carried the child for 6 months and miscarried.  That was the saddest point in either of our lives.  We, as a married couple, almost didn't make it through in one piece.  You just have to be more patient right now than you've ever been with her.  Each time you think of calling her, pray for her instead.  you need to take some time and take care of yourself as well.  Most men try to hold back their feelings.  They try to keep everything inside.  If you don't just let it all go and let your Lord take care of it, you'll explode.  I have always said that if God didn't think you could handle it, he wouldn't put you through it, and I believe that with all of my being.  He has a plan for both of you.  Not sure if you're a religious person, or even of your denomination, so I'm sorry if any of my religious comments have hurt you.  She needs time to heal just as you need time.  Everything will come around when He's ready.  Just like you said, He allowed you to live through all of the near misses in your life for a reason.  Just take things slow.  Time is the only thing that will ease the pain.

jay ,m8, let god handle it. it seems like " WTF , what knid of god would allow this to happen, it seems VERY harsh, BUT you will see m8, you will see what the plan is. im pretty sure soon.

Thanks alot , Im still trying to take it all in , Glad i got you guys 

any time m8 any time, lemme know if anything i can do, prayer requests etc, , lemme know, err let US know

I only recently found God as it goes , Pity ive lived such a Sinners life, Well im trying to be good now

its a harder road to travel, BUT in the end youll be bette off for doing so. m8 that child is adorable, and i know is making the lord smile think of it that way. eventually one day, you  will be able to meet him again. he is doing well now, not in ANYpain, smiels from ear to ear ( like the pic), and is THOROUGHLY enjoying all that is his to enjoy

I hope so . he was a stunner .

not " i hope so" but I KNOW SO 

Quote from: Jay_wolf on June 14, 2008, 12:29:52 AM
I only recently found God as it goes , Pity ive lived such a Sinners life, Well im trying to be good now

I'm not religious, but I respect others' beliefs. Someone said something once that I liked. They said they thought of church not as something for perfect people, but more of as a hospital for the soul... that always stuck with me. =)