Quote from: theUBS on September 10, 2008, 06:12:57 PM

Quote from: bikejunkie223 on September 10, 2008, 07:58:18 AM
Oh, one other thing....under NO circumstance should you be having sex with her EVER! She is only 1 "accident" away from getting her claws into your wallet for the next 18 years, plus if you want to have anything to do with the kid she will be a pain in your ass and any future girl you are with- basically forever. Move on bro, you deserve better. I don't even know you, and I know you deserve better. Everyone deserves better than what you have going on. Remember, as bad as you want to hit it one last time, or when the waterworks start and she goes to the emotional blackmail card DO NOT BONE HER!!!!

I believe that to be good advice.

+1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

I DID IT! Haven't talked to her now for 4 days. She texted me, saying we can work things out (well, telling me mostly that I can work things out with her).

QuoteOh, one other thing....under NO circumstance should you be having sex with her EVER!

We have had lots of make-up sex from previous fights. I just know this is what's going to happen if I respond to her. She even requested "angry" sex once upon a time. You guys are so right. I'm doing it! I'm getting out of this! Gahhh. <crying> <laughing> <crying>.
Again, thanks for the insight.

Quote from: TheGoodGuy on September 09, 2008, 05:48:39 PM
my advice.. 'if she hates you so much and dislikes you.. tell her she can walk out or you will.. and then walk out'. She will be back begging to reconcile. However I suggest its best you take a break.

oh i had teh cop issues, and the psycho GF, had a weapon in her hand, i was up against a couch, which was againsta  wall, she was between a coffee table, and me, translation, after being repeatedly hit. ( i refuse to hita woman, unless in self defense)and weapon threatened i shoved her, backwards over the coffee table, she drops knife, i secured knife, placed it in my vehicle, picked up wiht a bag oer hand ( keeping my printas off it), knowing the twat would call teh cops. she had no bruses, i had many. she didnt mention i took her knife..  which im glad. cause i did not want her to see hard time. get help yes, but not hard time. the cops anyhow, wanted to haul her in, i refused to press charges, she needed psych help, so i told a lil white lie, saying she threatened to commit suicide. , shes still going off, so they take her in for an eval. shes since straightened out. and im friends with her. but wil NEVER date her again. cause i regretted striking her. even though it was in defense 

Been arguing for 1.5 years and you haven't walked away?

Lots of good advice above.  I'll add this:  I don't know what all the arguing/fighting was about, but I suspect you both share the blame.  Use your time alone to do some honest soul-searching about the things that piss you off, and maybe think about the things that are most important to you in life.  Clean out the crap in your life and make a fresh start.

And DO NOT bone her. 

The best way to get over a woman is to get over another woman.  Or something like that. 

Lol i have to add, i thort this was just me but so many people must have gone through this too.

The whole make up through sex thing! I thought it was just me who saw how potentially fatal this could be. When i split up from my GF that went on for a little while but i certinally dont help and just makes things a whole helluva lot worse n i thort to myself wtf... this is crazy so quit that and cut all ties. turns out now shes chilled out we can be friends but were never getting together.

Glad im not the only one who saw the sex issue lol

The issue is that most men can have sex with a chick, and it doesn't have to mean anything, for women (most of them) it's always a major emotional thing, and that is always bad for a guy in your situation. Remember, you can seldom have sex with a chick without her getting emotionally attached (either initially or again) and women never have sex and keep their mouth shut about it. They always talk about it to somebody...but that's a totally different topic. Good job not getting back with her, I would stop taking her calls for a few weeks- it will be easier on you, your mind is already gonna keep churning up reminders of your relationship on it's own, you don't need direct reminders from her. After a month or so, you may start to think you have both cooled off and can try again- this is false. Clearly you two are no longer compatible and you just need to find someone else. Anyone else. There is no faster way to get over someone than to fill that void with the excitement of a new relationship. You don't need a girlfriend, just a chick (or chicks!) to hang with and get some once in awhile. One may turn out to be a long term proposition, most won't and that's cool- don't be in too much of a hurry to find a direct replacement for your last girlfriend- I would go with the shotgun approach. It's kinda like baseball- you ought to have several chicks in your bullpen so if one is a pain you just bench her for awhile. Few things will get a girl to treat you better than that girl being in direct competition with another/other girls for your time and attention. Hope that helps. AND NO ANGRY MAKEUP SEX!!!!!DO NOT BONE HER!!!

The doctor is out...

Lol, so true, but girlfriends like that are sneaky sons of a bitches too. They will claim they want meaningless sex and then coax you into it. Then hold it against you that your leading them on afterwards...

I agree, even if you don't get a new gf streight away, meeting some new girls and chasing a girl you like brings back the best bit of a relationship, the chase, the followed by the first month and half, after that... well its a slippery slope 

ugh i hate women exept pandy 

Quote from: frankieG on September 11, 2008, 07:10:26 AM
ugh i hate women exept pandy 

hmm....now we know the real reason frankie likes "group hugs"         

OK I go take a shower now.
Cool.
Buddha.

Quote from: bikejunkie223 on September 11, 2008, 06:57:04 AM

The issue is that most men can have sex with a chick, and it doesn't have to mean anything, for women (most of them) it's always a major emotional thing, and that is always bad for a guy in your situation. Remember, you can seldom have sex with a chick without her getting emotionally attached (either initially or again) and women never have sex and keep their mouth shut about it.


You don't need a girlfriend, just a chick (or chicks!) to hang with and get some once in awhile. The doctor is out...

That last part, I don't agree with.  Much because of the first part.  No need to toy with someone else just because you're recovering.  BUT, that's just me.

Don't walk away from her mate. RUN!! Run away! No matter what you have in common (I guess it is in a nutshell physical attraction and sex). She is NOT a good human being. It would be beyond me if some years ago I learn some b$tch resorts to calling the police to make her point across. But I know it now (friend's experience). 

Further in life you will be regretting if you stay. You WILL get in trouble.

Don't talk to her, don't see her, avoid her, don't let her talk you into going back! She may be knocking on your door, sometimes at night. Just be polite but avoid her.

Get over her and move on.. Get yourself a new girl ASAP  .

Quote from: theUBS on September 11, 2008, 03:13:22 PM
That last part, I don't agree with.  Much because of the first part.  No need to toy with someone else just because you're recovering.  BUT, that's just me.

My point is not to toy with people, I was always honest with the women I dated that they weren't the only girl I was dating. And if they chose to date other guys than me, that was fine as well. My point was not to throw everything into the next girl he dates because at this point he really doesn't know what is right for him, and the only way to find out is to date lots of people, and eventually you will find a girl who you really dig and then you can drop off all the others. It's not a man-whore thing I am reccomending, though I guess the way I wrote it it sounds like it. I do firmly believe women are less inclined to jerk you around and play mind games with you if they know you will just break them off if they do. When you find the girl who naturally doesn't bring all the drama, games, and BS then you have one that is a foundation for a relationship- if you are into her too. I just don't think there is anything wrong with exploring every possible option when you are single, that's the best part of being single IMO.

That chick is bad news.

I wouldn't give her the time of day.

OK the way I see it you both are Friggin' selfish. It takes 2 to make a relationship work.Even though I have never been in a Serious relationship and I've been treated like shaZam! by Women for the past oh....... 30 Friggin years I've Had time to step back and look upon everyone elses relationships.I've learned my lessons from every ones mistakes.Right now I could have several damn nice Marriages with girls that thinks or thought Highly of me in the past few years.I've just been dumb enough not to get caught up in something I know I would Enjoy.Right now I am going thru Hell because I'm 30 years old and Have never told a Woman that I loved her until recently.The reason that I can't have Her is Because She loves Someone Else.I know She has Feelings for me because of what happened a Few Months Ago that I don't want to go Into details on.She is a Good Girl and a Hard Worker.Right now I would Give my life for Her as Long as she gives up the Piece of shaZam! she is with.He Just hasn't hurt her bad enough yet.It's an Every Day event that She Calls or Texts me that he has Hurt Her and it is Killing me that I can't do anything without making Her Look like a my mama or a Whore.I ask God Every f%$king Day why he won't give Her the Strength to get rid of him and Let me have Her.It's the only thing I've ever really wanted.Everything else in my Miserable f%$king life doesn't matter as long as I can make Her Happy,Keep Her Warm this Winter and Make sure she Has Enough to eat.
Then Again What the f%$k Does it matter.In the Long Run She is going to make me Miserable as Hell.Even More so than I am Now.

Back a few Months Ago we were by our Selves several times and Just about the time something was going to Happen we both would back off.I guess we both figured we would f%$k up a pretty good Friendship.I was Wishing something would Happen but it didn't because I have enough respect for Her to let her Make Her Own Decisions.What Happens....Happens.... if she wants to make Her own Hell so Be it.I'll go on living my Miserable life without Her making me Happy and Me making Her Happy.God Dammit why does Life Have to be so f%$king Complicated for me.Am I just too Complex?It dwelves Deaper and Deeper and I don't have time to write it all Here.Like I tell Everyone it's just a f%&ked up Situation.

Quote from: bikejunkie223 on September 11, 2008, 04:13:14 PM

Quote from: theUBS on September 11, 2008, 03:13:22 PM
That last part, I don't agree with.  Much because of the first part.  No need to toy with someone else just because you're recovering.  BUT, that's just me.

My point is not to toy with people, I was always honest with the women I dated that they weren't the only girl I was dating. And if they chose to date other guys than me, that was fine as well. My point was not to throw everything into the next girl he dates because at this point he really doesn't know what is right for him, and the only way to find out is to date lots of people, and eventually you will find a girl who you really dig and then you can drop off all the others. It's not a man-whore thing I am reccomending, though I guess the way I wrote it it sounds like it. I do firmly believe women are less inclined to jerk you around and play mind games with you if they know you will just break them off if they do. When you find the girl who naturally doesn't bring all the drama, games, and BS then you have one that is a foundation for a relationship- if you are into her too. I just don't think there is anything wrong with exploring every possible option when you are single, that's the best part of being single IMO.

As long as you are on the same page with those you are seeing, that seems fair enough. 

Quote from: Jughead on September 11, 2008, 07:50:36 PM
OK the way I see it you both are Friggin' selfish. It takes 2 to make a relationship work.Even though I have never been in a Serious relationship and I've been treated like shaZam! by Women for the past oh....... 30 Friggin years I've Had time to step back and look upon everyone elses relationships.I've learned my lessons from every ones mistakes.Right now I could have several damn nice Marriages with girls that thinks or thought Highly of me in the past few years.I've just been dumb enough not to get caught up in something I know I would Enjoy.Right now I am going thru Hell because I'm 30 years old and Have never told a Woman that I loved her until recently.The reason that I can't have Her is Because She loves Someone Else.I know She has Feelings for me because of what happened a Few Months Ago that I don't want to go Into details on.She is a Good Girl and a Hard Worker.Right now I would Give my life for Her as Long as she gives up the Piece of shaZam! she is with.He Just hasn't hurt her bad enough yet.It's an Every Day event that She Calls or Texts me that he has Hurt Her and it is Killing me that I can't do anything without making Her Look like a my mama or a Whore.I ask God Every f%$king Day why he won't give Her the Strength to get rid of him and Let me have Her.It's the only thing I've ever really wanted.Everything else in my Miserable f%$king life doesn't matter as long as I can make Her Happy,Keep Her Warm this Winter and Make sure she Has Enough to eat.
Then Again What the f%$k Does it matter.In the Long Run She is going to make me Miserable as Hell.Even More so than I am Now.

Back a few Months Ago we were by our Selves several times and Just about the time something was going to Happen we both would back off.I guess we both figured we would f%$k up a pretty good Friendship.I was Wishing something would Happen but it didn't because I have enough respect for Her to let her Make Her Own Decisions.What Happens....Happens.... if she wants to make Her own Hell so Be it.I'll go on living my Miserable life without Her making me Happy and Me making Her Happy.God Dammit why does Life Have to be so f%$king Complicated for me.Am I just too Complex?It dwelves Deaper and Deeper and I don't have time to write it all Here.Like I tell Everyone it's just a f%$ked up Situation.

Dude- That is an effed up story. I have not been in your situation but a girl I work with, and like very much in a friendship way (I'm married) is with a total douchbag that constantly treats her like garbage, and though he hasn't physically abused her (yet) all of us at work can't seem to convince her to shake this loser loose. I don't know why women do this so often, they get all hot for some @$$hole, and then continue to mistake being a duck for confidence, get attached, and then for some reason can't ever see the runaway train that's 5 feet away. I'm sorry to hear your situation- all you can do is be her friend, and hopefully one day she will wise up and leave the prick, unfortunately the closer you are with this girl the more miserable you will be, having to constantly hear every awful detail. That sucks.

Quote from: theUBS on September 11, 2008, 10:03:23 PM
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As long as you are on the same page with those you are seeing, that seems fair enough. 

Cool, I didn't want you thinking some anonymous guy on the internets was a complete @$$hole...that would break my freeking heart!

Quote from: bikejunkie223 on September 11, 2008, 10:24:56 PM

Quote from: theUBS on September 11, 2008, 10:03:23 PM
As long as you are on the same page with those you are seeing, that seems fair enough. 

Cool, I didn't want you thinking some anonymous guy on the internets was a complete @$$hole...that would break my freeking heart!

I figured it was weighing heavily on your mind...   

OK forget the selfish part.I was typing after a 6 pack and half a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Yeah I know.Back in the summer I was Dropping what I had to do at work just to be with Her.I was Actually Spending more time with Her than Her Boyfriend was.I bought Her things and Still do.I've Given Her money to Pay Her Bills because she wasn't getting to work much and she was getting ready to lose Her Vehicle.I even Fixed Her Cook Stove and mowed Her Yard Several times.I've Given more right now than He will ever give Her.Don't get me wrong She isn't using me or anything.I know that she really Appreciates it.Her Boyfriend on the other Hand is a total Dumbass thats 4 Years Younger than Her and would rather set in the woods or Hang out with his buddies than to be with her.Hell he won't take Her out to Eat or any place.She is wanting to go on a Vacation to get Away from things and He is planning on taking 2 Hunting Trips before long and He told her She wasn't welcome to go.Right now I would Drop everything and take Her to the Beach with me for 8 Days.I've told Her that I would.I offer to take Her out to Eat all of the time but she won't go.
Like I said She is a Hard worker and the line of Work She is in is Killing Her.I've told Her that on my Days off I could go Help Her out and She could Keep Her money and Any that I make.She said that She understood but it just wasn't possible because of Him. I've often wanted to give up but I just Can't.Maybe I'm just 

Quote from: Ry_Guy on September 09, 2008, 01:11:07 AM
What do you do when your heart says yes but your head says no?

A few days ago I found myself in the back of a squad car. Why? In a nutshell, because my girlfriend was pissed at me. We were together for 2 years and fought with each other for 1 1/2 of them. We argued a lot. A LOT. Yet we still ended up back in each other's arms. We absolutely hated each other, but on the other end of the spectrum we really loved each other. One night we got into an argument and couldn't decide what to do with our evening. No big deal. I suggested getting a drink somewhere and then going home. Next thing I know, she's insulting my intelligence and masculinity. I feel the need for a walk now, and I take off walking. I'm gone for an hour, and a spot-light shines on me...then I have to explain to the officer that we had an argument and that I was offended and that I needed some air. This was the last straw for me.
I'm wondering...should I make amends with her and continue trying to work things out, or should I end the relentless bitterness now before I end up somewhere worse than the back of a squad car?
We both love each other madly. But the catch is, we both hate each other too.

Not a healthy relationship. You posted @ 3am, police were involved, and she's not supportive of you. Time to crank up a new hobby or three while you get over her:

Skydiving ?
Track days every weekend ?
A boat (those things can kill ALL you money and time!) ?

Sorry you're moofed, it sucks.