LMAO http://notalwaysright.com/

Yeah...  I've been reading that site for a while...  it get's my spirits up...

..until I get to work the next day. 

Oh that good stuff. 

Priceless!

I added one, and I'll add a few more later.   

I liked the one about the 1 cent discrepancy one the milk... 

i bout pissed my pants reading the one about "mango isn't a fruit, it's a color".....

Quote from: jserio on February 21, 2009, 12:34:23 PM
i bout pissed my pants reading the one about "mango isn't a fruit, it's a color".....

What page was that one on?

hmmm...i can't remember..i read through those things for like 2 hours last night.....lol...try 7 or 8 i think?

Quote from: jserio on February 21, 2009, 01:18:25 PM
hmmm...i can't remember..i read through those things for like 2 hours last night.....lol...try 7 or 8 i think?

They're addicting aren't they?

I manage a small pizza place right now. and i had a lady call up and order a supreme. . basically everyhting we put on a pie. anyhoo, wanted one,  minus everythign but the pepperoni. so i said, so you want a large pepperoni. ( yes i was in the gutter) shes like NO I WANT A SUPREME MINUS ( everythign but the pepperoni) our large pepperoni is teh cheap, btu priced via our computer her order is about $6.00 more, i quoted her total, shes like WTF? a bit high Eh?, im like well im giving you what you wanted. but what i offered is the same thign. but 6 cheaper. she finally agreed. and her last name is HO, and with teh noise in that place we usually say out loud, ( name) wants ( product) so before i could catch myself i hollered "Ho wants a large pepperoni. she knew how this worked and had heard it before. and laughed abotu it. as did i. cause everyone started chuckling at teh same time. shes a vietnamese lady and i cannot pronounce her first name at all. ive tried

damn. I love this shaZam!.

retail makes for good war stories lol. liek a lawyer i work for as his maintenance man. i do his electronics installs, adn setting his stuff up, , 6 LARGE flat panels i totally f%&ked with him one day, he had bought a dvd player and knew enough about plugginh it in. ( i explained where everythign was to go, as far ans connections and if he needed me to call. well he called one day, and was liek i bought a dvd player for teh lcd in the basement, and i plugged it in and NOTHIGN. i walked him through the buttons needed to press, and he did, and nothign. i figured he didnt plug it in. he pays me 40 to coem out there and "fix it" i do, i find the power cord still zip tied . im liek  hehe, i work and examine it. and after a while i ask him, is there a bonus if i can get this working in 50 seconds or less, hes like YEAH . so i plkug it in. i didnt accept teh bonus money cause that woudl have been dishonest of me. ( i cant do tha tto a person), but did accept teh call fee. i said. " you forgot to plug it in" we laughed whiel drinknig a bit . that was a fun day

its addictive i read and read and read

I'm like that I can figure out most anything except the really easy krap. I remember a few years ago I was installing a complete stereop system in my F150 after a few long hours in the Florida sun I couldn't figure for the life of me why the cd changer would not operate correctly! Finally, I called my best friend and after an hour of trouble shooting on the phone no deal. He is like fine I'll come over and help you out. He told me to go in the apartment and cool off. So, I went in made some lemonade for both of us and came back out. He was trying hard not to crack up or be mean he sucks at that. He shows me the cartridge and he says what's wrong with this picture? Uhm, nothing then he's like bone head the cd's are in upside down! I was quite embarrased.

Another of my infamous moments. (back drop for those who don't live in Florida we have gas stations named Race Trac)

One day I was driving with a friend in the car and we go down Sand Lake Blvd. My friend looked at me and said "oh look their building another race trac"
My reply "That doesn't look like a race track it looks like a gas station"
My friend was trying really hard not to laugh and tears are running down her cheeks.
I'm like "what in the hell is so funny"
Then she points at the sign!
Me: "uhm, yeah I meant that"
Sure!

So yeah you can laugh at me!
Mary

no, we shall not laugh at you....we shall laugh with you...such is the brotherhood of gstwins. 

heh speaking of which i was pulled over for "throttle exercising aka going to fast.. i stop in a race trac, he says Uh what do you think this is, a race track?" i kept a straight face, pointed at the sign ( over my car) and said yes. he looked up and said okay smart ass. ( i got a warning lol)

Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on February 22, 2009, 01:23:45 AM
I manage a small pizza place right now. and i had a lady call up and order a supreme. . basically everyhting we put on a pie. anyhoo, wanted one,  minus everythign but the pepperoni. so i said, so you want a large pepperoni. ( yes i was in the gutter) shes like NO I WANT A SUPREME MINUS ( everythign but the pepperoni) our large pepperoni is teh cheap, btu priced via our computer her order is about $6.00 more, i quoted her total, shes like WTF? a bit high Eh?, im like well im giving you what you wanted. but what i offered is the same thign. but 6 cheaper. she finally agreed. and her last name is HO, and with teh noise in that place we usually say out loud, ( name) wants ( product) so before i could catch myself i hollered "Ho wants a large pepperoni. she knew how this worked and had heard it before. and laughed abotu it. as did i. cause everyone started chuckling at teh same time. shes a vietnamese lady and i cannot pronounce her first name at all. ive tried

lol, that site isn't bad either -

HO WANT MUFFIN STUFF WITH BIG SAUSAGE - ORDER UP !

Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on February 24, 2009, 07:27:05 PM
heh speaking of which i was pulled over for "throttle exercising aka going to fast.. i stop in a race trac, he says Uh what do you think this is, a race track?" i kept a straight face, pointed at the sign ( over my car) and said yes. he looked up and said okay smart ass. ( i got a warning lol)

That reminds me..lol.  Back in 2005 I got pulled over for speeding.  I actually had to shaZam! bad and there wasnt anythgin open at 5am on a sunday.  SO i was flying.
Well.  I didnt notice the cop.  He pulled me over after I had exited the offramp and was on the street heading home. 
Officer-"Do you know why I plulled you over?'
me-"ummm unless it was for speeding, no"
Officer-"Good Job son, Do you know what i clocked you at?"
me-"I was doing about 115 up on the expressway"
The officers paused, kinda with a dumb founded look
Officer-"I had you doing 86"
Me-"where at? the offramp?"
Officer-"yeah right before the offramp"
me-"you shouldve been payign more attention."
Officer-"license and registration please"
I just chuckled as he walked off.  I got nailed, but damn i was lucky.  I really was doing 115 a mere 2.5-3 seconds before the offramp. 
Needless to say, I barely made it home to poop.  It was one of those that make you say "Holy shaZam! that was close"

LMAO , funniest one i ever hear wass  when a friend was stoped for speeding. cop comes up and says " Wheres the fire son?" friend replies " Only in he gleaming light of your eyes OCCIFER" ( he got HAMMERED with teh mother of all tickets lol