Rant follows:
(Judge not, lest ye be judged.)

To quote another board member, I keep wanting to "ride the piss" out of my bike. 

I got this thing to bring a little zen to my sh!tty pre-med life.  It seems that I find it nearly impossible to resist becoming an @$$hole once I hear around 5K rpm and up, or seeing the backs of car after wide-@ss car. 
I need track time or something, fast. 
I've been getting dry mouth and a racy pulse every time I put on my helmet, just anticipating rear-ending someone.  I  visualize my abdomen wrapped around a 3-year old pine on the outside of a slightly banked curve, sideways, my liver impaled on a broken limb.  I should know better, for so many reasons.  I have a test on blunt trauma, for Christ's sake.  Still, it's somehow peaceful knowing that at least Ill be doing something, instead of listening to every other @sshole after @sshole blabber on and push their collective weight around. 
I've been judging my footwear based on their capability for damaging sheet metal and reevaluating bar length. 
High velocity country road runs are boring, compared to getting cut off on the way to Blockbuster.  I've been looking into norepi' just to calm the endorphin rush.  An old vet at the VA warned me about becoming addicted to conflict, just for the endocrine surge.  Apparently my devotion to Quakerism can't keep up with my GS. 
I haven't started pulling out in front of cars, yet.  I guess that's something.  I don't split lanes, although I judge the distance between.  I blame it on "escape route planning".  I'm no "bad-@ss", and I'm not trying to be.  I tutor physics to minority teenagers that don't bother learning my name, and I like hamsters. 
I want to be fat and bearded (only while I'm riding), so I can fart around on a cruiser.  Hold the same speed longer than my attention span, and be interested in the "amazing scenery" of dirt-poor NC.  Maybe not have to constantly check my helmet, to see if it's down far enough to cover my chin. 
I already know I need to slow down.  I'm not too concerned about endangering the almighty, ever-present public (which is a monster in itself).  Why doesn't someone arrest the public, anyway?  It endangers me far too often...  I'm not closed to suggestions or maybe a riding buddy.  I'd put a guinea pig in my tank bag, but I'm afraid it'd have a stroke or fall off. 
I never leave with intentions of such actions.  They just seem to happen.  My helmet is preventing idiocy from escaping, instead it recirculates.  This afternoon I tried to lock the rear tire before a corner.  I don't know why.    Maybe I picked up a pathogen in Microbiology lab.  Brain mold. 

Keep feeling like there's a magical place somewhere out in front of my handlebars, and if I can reach it I'll be happy to putt around like a commuter, forever after.  Maybe it could be remaining temporal lobe contusions after my concussion last month. 
Bye!

Honestly, I think you might need to step away from the bike before you are someone else gets hurt. Sounds like you have pent up aggressions and need a safe outlet for them. You may also want to talk to someone. Biorhythm therapy or meditation can help quite a bit. Looking back most of my accidents have occured when I was in an irritated or aggresive mood.

Have you been caring for yourself. Taking all meds that are prescibed and such. It almost sounds like a manic episode or could be someting else. If this keeps occuring please talk to someone we want you around here not hurt or worse 

But, seriously you need to work on it.

switch to motorcycle journalism. you'll get your fix, know you're smarter than the average bear, and not have to pay $30,000 a year to malpricktus (yes, i know, spelling, get the point?) insurance.


ok, forget that, still a neat writing style you have there.


as far as the fear of rendering your own lard, don't worry. you don't have a family yet, and there are 20-30 young pre-meds clamoring to take your place. they prolly don't like greasy, smelly, dirty motorcycles either. they just want the big paycheck when their white coats are finally past the knees

slow down !

http://www.msf-usa.org/

They have little on-line simulations you can try, though it's not quite the real thing.

Take the next ERC that's available in your area. And pay attention to the voice in your head that's worried about rear-ending someone - there's no damn reason to be in a position where you should have to worry about that. Space is good. Space gives time gives options - options allow avoidance.

If all else fails, go put in some pre-med volunteer time helping out in the emergency room.

...oh, and - make sure the idiocy vents are open on your helmet - sounds like they might be clogged

I am starting to think someone will be carrying a gun and shooting something soon?

   Whoa Nelly!

I hear you, death wish.  Tried rock climbing?  Look down!

Hmmmmm, me thinks someone likes the epinephrine a lil much (youre not alone). And you just want to feel alive. Meet a hot "fast" woman. Or take up downhill freestyle moutain biking. NC has some good spots from what ive seen on some videos. You guys are on the Appalachian's ass in some spots arent you.  But you wanna talk abotu a rush that test your reaction time. Down hill freestyle MTB is the way.  Or MMA if you dont want be thrown 200 ft through the air and land on a sharp rock, or stump, or dried creekbed...worst case scenario obviously.

Yeah, track time might be good for you.  I wouldn't know personally, but want to do it sometime. 

Maybe read Proficient Motorcycling by David Hough.  It'll give you something to think about - like how not to become one with the back of that wide-ass car in front of you.

Quote from: ohgood on February 27, 2009, 04:17:53 AM

...still a neat writing style you have there.