I need to grow a set. 

good luck

whew! saw the sad icon for a post from an and thought, "damn, another bike stolen." glad i was wrong. 

What happened...

I'm a department manager where I work.  I met this girl there almost two years ago and since then we've become good friends.  Not "great" friends, but we hang out outside of work once in a great while.  We chat online and text constantly too.  I've grown to like her more than a friend.  The problem is that she works in MY department.  Therefore, I'm TECHNICALLY her 'boss'.  We never really acted like 'boss and employee', and I'm sure she never really saw me as her 'boss'.  But that never mattered 'cause I was definitely in a supervisor role.

I always thought that that was the reason why I never told her how I really feel.  Also, a small part of me sometimes thinks that she's not interested in me.... but that same part of me has doubts due to how she acts around me sometimes....


Last week she told me (I actually found out on my own...  she didn't want me to know yet) that she applied for a new job.  I had a feeling that she was gonna get it...  she's FANTASTIC at everything she does.  She's pretty much the best person I've worked with in my years at that company.  I know I'm gonna be SCREWED when she leaves 'cause that leaves me and two other people in that department.  The other girls are not up to par with what needs to be done....  they're kinda like fillers to make sure there's someone there to watch over the department during their shifts.

All weekend I've been preparing myself to tell her how I feel if she got the job.  Well...  she got a call last night around 6:30pm from the company.  She got the job.  Today she told me that she gave her two weeks notice (her last day is the 31st).

I couldn't tell her about my feelings.  Once she's gone, we I won't have the boss/employee hangup between us, and yet I couldn't say ANTYHING.  I actually broke up with the last girl at the begining of Feb because I couldn't stop thinking about my friend.  I knew that wasn't fair to my ex.  Luckily we weren't too serious, so it didn't really matter too much.

Ive got so many things running through my mind right now, but I don't have the ability to organize them and put them in this post right now.

well first off i know exactly how you feel.  first things first tell her how you feel theres only 2 things that can happen 1 she will tell you she likes you and things your a great guy.  2. she will tell you she likes you too but she think you should just be friends so not to mess up the friendship you already have.  good luck man

Man you need to butch up 

I'm just playin, you need to tell her or you will always wonder what might have been, and that sucks.

Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 18, 2009, 04:41:02 PM
I need to grow a set. 

i have no idea how to interpret what regular unleaded chicks have flowing through there minds (this is NOT a bash) let alone the super-unleaded variety like yerself. (still not a bash, you know this)....

but if she doesn't know, she's in for a wild ride when you tell her, and YOU ARE TELLING HER, right ?

put your big girl panties on (ok, the hawt ones!) and doit. doit. DOIT.

that is all.



















oh, and take video if it turns out really hawt, ok ?

Option 3:

I DON'T tell her, and she fades out of my life.  For the last two years, every time I see her when I come into work, my day brightens a little.  I know I can handle whatever crap is thrown my way when she's there.  I know for a fact (and I've told her directly) that if it weren't for her, I'd either be fired or in jail.  She laughs everytime I tell her that, but I know she believes that too.

Quote from: ohgood on March 18, 2009, 06:01:57 PM

Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 18, 2009, 04:41:02 PM
I need to grow a set. 

i have no idea how to interpret what regular unleaded chicks have flowing through there minds (this is NOT a bash) let alone the super-unleaded variety like yerself. (still not a bash, you know this)....

but if she doesn't know, she's in for a wild ride when you tell her, and YOU ARE TELLING HER, right ?

put your big girl panties on (ok, the hawt ones!) and doit. doit. DOIT.

that is all.

oh, and take video if it turns out really hawt, ok ?

I still don't know.  Like I said, I was preparing to tell her in the event that she got the other job.  Well...  that happened.  But I still wasn't able to tell her.

JUST TELL HER

I don't know how...  and being that I had the worst night of sleep, I'm not in any condition to think either.

You're making excuses, just like I would in that situation.

I think you should just be spontaneous with it, tell her how you really feel.

Being spontaneous is out of the question....  mainly because I can't stop thinking about her.

I'm gonna invite her out to dinner to celebrate her new job.  If she accepts I think I'll tell her then.  Idk....  I haven't really thought it through completely.

The dinner thing would work well. It would give you a chance to gauge how things are going and how she feels about you now that you don't work together. Then when the moment is right, go for it.

Yeah go out to dinner and just talk like you usually do.  Sometime during dinner, don't wait for the "Right" moment because it never comes, just tell her that you have feelings for her, how you enjoy seeing her, and how when dating wasn't an option just seeing her brightened up your day.  Basically just be yourself and try to gauge what she is thinking before you get to mushy, you don't want to come off as a potential stalker or anything. 

I know how you are feeling but trust me, asking her out and her saying she isn't interested will offer you more piece of mind then not asking and never knowing what could have been.

NOW a story of encouragement:
When i was in college i was dating a Buddha Loves You, and i dumped her for a girl that i was interested in.  She was nice, attractive, and basically the kind of girl i wanted to be with.  I never got the balls to ask and eventually went back to the Buddha Loves You.  She treated me like shaZam! and more but I thought I couldn't do any better.  Well about a year after the divorce i was out with a friend and I saw the girl that I never asked out, never had the balls to.  Well this time i walked over to the table and introduced myself, i didn't expect that she would remember me.  Well she did and we talked over a couple beers about what we each had done over the past couple years.  She was surprised to hear that i actually married Buddha Loves You, and I got the tidbit i didn't really want to ask for, that she was still single and in grad school.  I gave her a ride back to her place and on the way asked if she would like to go out again, this time on a date.  She looked like she was going to cry, and declared "Man i am lucky, you are such a nice guy and I didn't even want to go out tonight but i wouldn't change it for anything now."  I simply responded "Haha, I thought i was the lucky one cause i never thought i would see you again and had lost my chance forever." 

Today she is my wife and the two year anniversary is next month.  It really doesn't feel like we have been together 5 years because it seems like yesterday when i was a nervous wreck in a bar approaching a girl i had a one in a million chance of saying yes.  Had i not happened into her at a bar 2 years after and said you know what she might say no but at least i'll have an answer, i wouldn't have the wonderful wife i do today.  Just be yourself and if she's not interested at least you know instead of beating yourself up over lost chances.

You're going to clean up the pile of barf next to my desk, right?  It's your fault...

Dude, one day, you're going to look back on your life.  You're going to remember the things you DID, for better or worse, and regret the things you DIDN'T DO, for better or worse.  Aim to remember saying something - it's better than regretting not having done so.

Quote from: lawman on March 19, 2009, 08:01:30 AM
You're going to clean up the pile of barf next to my desk, right?  It's your fault...

Dude, one day, you're going to look back on your life.  You're going to remember the things you DID, for better or worse, and regret the things you DIDN'T DO, for better or worse.  Aim to remember saying something - it's better than regretting not having done so.

That's what i was trying to get across, its really true

Quote from: natedawg120 on March 19, 2009, 07:53:28 AM
Yeah go out to dinner and just talk like you usually do.  Sometime during dinner, don't wait for the "Right" moment because it never comes, just tell her that you have feelings for her, how you enjoy seeing her, and how when dating wasn't an option just seeing her brightened up your day.  Basically just be yourself and try to gauge what she is thinking before you get to mushy, you don't want to come off as a potential stalker or anything. 

I know how you are feeling but trust me, asking her out and her saying she isn't interested will offer you more piece of mind then not asking and never knowing what could have been.

NOW a story of encouragement:
When i was in college i was dating a Buddha Loves You, and i dumped her for a girl that i was interested in.  She was nice, attractive, and basically the kind of girl i wanted to be with.  I never got the balls to ask and eventually went back to the Buddha Loves You.  She treated me like oh my goodness and more but I thought I couldn't do any better.  Well about a year after the divorce i was out with a friend and I saw the girl that I never asked out, never had the balls to.  Well this time i walked over to the table and introduced myself, i didn't expect that she would remember me.  Well she did and we talked over a couple beers about what we each had done over the past couple years.  She was surprised to hear that i actually married Buddha Loves You, and I got the tidbit i didn't really want to ask for, that she was still single and in grad school.  I gave her a ride back to her place and on the way asked if she would like to go out again, this time on a date.  She looked like she was going to cry, and declared "Man i am lucky, you are such a nice guy and I didn't even want to go out tonight but i wouldn't change it for anything now."  I simply responded "Haha, I thought i was the lucky one cause i never thought i would see you again and had lost my chance forever." 

Today she is my wife and the two year anniversary is next month.  It really doesn't feel like we have been together 5 years because it seems like yesterday when i was a nervous wreck in a bar approaching a girl i had a one in a million chance of saying yes.  Had i not happened into her at a bar 2 years after and said you know what she might say no but at least i'll have an answer, i wouldn't have the wonderful wife i do today.  Just be yourself and if she's not interested at least you know instead of beating yourself up over lost chances.

Nice job.

Me I met my wife when I was 16. She was 14 at the time. We dated for years and in 1999 we tied the knot and our 10 year anniversary is coming up in Sept. I am SO glad I had the guts to take the chance and speak up or who knows where I would be.

Long end short ............ TAKE A CHANCE OR YOU WILL REGRET IT.