Quote from: cafeboy on March 20, 2009, 06:09:17 PM

I know. 

1st, stop beating yourself up. It ain't going to look very attractive, yes?

2nd, look back at what you wrote earlier:

Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 18, 2009, 06:11:53 PM
For the last two years, every time I see her when I come into work, my day brightens a little.  I know I can handle whatever crap is thrown my way when she's there.  I know for a fact (and I've told her directly) that if it weren't for her, I'd either be fired or in jail.  She laughs everytime I tell her that, but I know she believes that too.

That's what you should tell her.

Tell her you think about her a lot. Tell her it makes you feel happy. It's the truth. Just tell her the truth, even if it means telling her that you're nervous about telling her! You think she doesn't get nervous about sharing things too? She can understand that exactly!

That's my 1st message to you. Here's the 2nd:

I once wrestled with pain and angst and fear over talking to a girl I liked. I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. I wasn't very smooth about it (I was nervous). Did it go well? Not on your life. She actually laughed at me! I was hurt and rejected and even now (almost 20 years later) I still wince when I think about it! It was hard. But you know what else? The sun came up the next day, the world kept turning, and life went on. She and I are still friends. Maybe better now than back then, even. Meanwhile, I went on to fall in love with the most wonderful girl in the world (yeah I know, you think you've found her, but really the most wonderful one is right here with me) and we married, had kids, lived, loved, laughed and the whole bit.

Moral of the story? I don't think there's a moral. Just this: What have you got to lose? Take a chance. Talk to her, share your feelings, and take the risk -- it's pretty small. If she feels the same way then you've hit the jackpot. If she doesn't feel the same way, well -- would you want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't interested ?? !! Better to find out up front and you don't have to keep pining over her.

You can do it. Just be yourself. If she is interested in you, then its YOU, YOURSELF that she wants to talk to.

I think that another thing I'm nervous about is just babbling on and on about crap...  I'm not a very good speaker.  I can write VERY well, but when it comes to speaking...  forget it.  I'd feel more comfortable writing it in an email or note, but I think that's pretty lame.

I think she knows that I babble when I'm nervous...  I like your idea of telling her that straight up.  Thankz 5th....  you've brought up some good pointers.

Higher free test levels work miracles for your confidence.

Write it down and give it to her. I'm krap at trying to verbally tell people I care about important things. Ironic I was a public speaker at one of my old jobs. I can talk krap all day but if it means something not a word. I'll just stand and stare.

then if she laughs at you you won't see it!

Mary

Quote from: Toogoofy317 on March 20, 2009, 10:41:57 PM
Write it down and give it to her. I'm krap at trying to verbally tell people I care about important things. Ironic I was a public speaker at one of my old jobs. I can talk krap all day but if it means something not a word. I'll just stand and stare.

then if she laughs at you you won't see it!

Mary

theres an idea. hell get her a card, a congrats card of sorts, and tell her there. write what you wish, and somehow include your number 

you can always text  her. if you need you can borrow my balls just have then back by 11pm i need then 5 nights a week

Dammit just think some sort of shaZam! up.What do you have to lose either way.Look at it this way your not having to Keep Her Ass warm or feed Her like I'm having to do to try to get Her.OK I'm a f%$king Dumbass.This one would be reallly friggin Easy for my Sorry Ass.An Who does She Have in Her Life Besides you? Right now I've made it super Hard on myself on Who I've Chosen.It's Costing me (Which for who it is for it Doesn't matter.) I still have a Super Slim Chance in f%$king Hell with this Girl.Whether I do get her or not at least I tried and we will Part as Friends.A Friend that I never knew would have Existed.Still she means a Lot to me.A Phone call from Her means a whole lot to me In my Pitiful f%$king Existence.Whether you Succeed or not you f%$king tried.If you don't Succeed what Have you lost?She still fades Away.If you do Succeed what have you Gained? You have someone in your life.Something a lot of people don't have.Something that should mean alot to everyone.Listen to me An.I am not a Religious person but I pray to God many hours a Day to put this one in my life.Praying to a God to releive the torture in our lives.Praying to a God that seems that Has only taken Away from me and Never given to me.Well yeah He gave me life.A Life to Ask for Other Things.So far this is just one of a Couple of things I've had to Ask him for.Everything Else well I worked out on my own.

Oh and If you need Balls........... Drink a f%$king Beer and get it over with.

Cards? Yeah but they only work to a Certain Extent.Not saying Everyone is wrong but it really could work in your case.In my Experience well all I get is "Thats so Sweet" Or "Thats Cute".Jewlery? Well I've always gotten Spit at with Jewlery.

Look, damn the words, just say it.  The less of a production, the better.  Just tell her whats on your mind, and it will flow.  Dont worry. If you feel this strongly for her, itll show.  No matter if you babble or not.  Some girls think nervous babblign is cute.  Its also a sign of tellign the truth spontaneously in that moment.  so suck it, and go for it.  No need for a pair.  Just nerves. Youll breathe a huge sigh of relief when you flop into bed later that night. 
Courage isnt the abscence of fear, it is overcoming that fear and doing what must be done. 
As I always say.  Nothign to it but to do it. 

' the F outta here!  Seriously?  Is this for real? 

An,
She picked up on it a LOOOONG time ago.  She's a woman; it's what they do.  She's probably just annoyed by now. 
It's what happens when you don't use what you've been given. 


Tell her something.  Who gives a sh!t what you say.  She sure doesn't. 
Or don't, then be prepared to compare every woman you meet to her. 





Jesus.  You're single.  You can say whatever the hell you want.  Nobody cares.  Hell, they EXPECT you too. 
It only takes them about 20 seconds to decide whether they're going to sleep with you.  If she's decided no, then she's gonna make fun of you regardless, even if you're quiet.  If she's decided she likes you, then it's your loss. 
She likes you, or she wouldn't have had conversation with you.  That is, unless she's using you for favors or to build her own confidence or she thinks you're harmless (or ghey).  It's the first rule.
They believe that talking to you is the first move, and they expect you to follow up.  And, she's only gonna wait for so long.  The more attractive she feels, the less she's gonna wait.  That's the second rule. 
What you're doing right now is the most unattractive thing that women find about men.  It's number 1, on the top of every list.  Lack of confidence. 
Not some women, not most women.  ALL WOMEN. 
It doesn't matter exactly what you say, as long as you say something that doesn't make her feel cheap.  So, say what you think, and stick by it.  If she doesn't like it, then it's her loss.  That's rule number three. 


She's already picked up on your confidence level a long time ago, like I said.  She didn't mind it to start with, because she thinks that's as good as she can get.  The longer you go without doing something about it, the more she thinks that she can do better.  She picked up on it from your mannerisms, so don't fool yourself that it's something different. 
It's a test.  It's what they do.  And, they all do it.  There's one for face and body, your income, your butt, etc, etc. 
The older they get, the easier the tests get.
You passed her tests, or she would be avoiding you at all costs. 

So, see?  They're doing all the work for you.  All you need to do is to say something. 

And pay attention to Spc. 



I mean, poems?  Seriously?  Cards?  Blah. 
Man, YOU'RE the one that gets to pick and choose.  Start believing it. 

as tehy say in msot marriage ceremonies, " speak now, or forever hold your piece" idk if it was piece or peace. but either way you get my point

Wow I'm glad Wladziu can read ALL women's minds. As a matter-of-fact it takes me a hell of alot longer than 20 seconds to decide if I'm gonna sleep with you. Honestly, what really turns me off and actually pisses me off is a man who is to damned confident and think they are God's gift to women. A poem or a heart felt letter goes a lot further than he baby you ready to fu(k type confidence.

Just be who you are and nobody else. We can't tell you what to do it's your life and your regrets.

Mary

Aww, Mary.  I'm touched.  Does this mean you like me?

Cause, I've been nicer to you than anyone on this board.  Or, are you still deciding, pending a sweet poem or heart-felt letter? 



Nobody's telling him to act like a man-whore.  Just ask her out for ice cream, to get to know her better outside of work.  And, if it doesn't work then chalk it up as practice, and he can at least feel like he did something confidently.  If he writes her a stupid poem or something and she rejects him, how do you think that would feel?  Of course, a female might not be concerned with this fella's feelings post-rejection, but some of us are very familiar.  It's how the rules came into being, and there are far more of them than I can remember. 


Let's say you can't stand me, Mary, but I think you like me.  I give you a poem about birds and rabbits or something.  You laugh about it with your friends, and post it on the company bulletin board. 
Now, let's say I just man up and ask you a simple question.  You say no and flip your hair (or some other thing, whatever).  I may feel a little crappy, but I can still walk away with more of my confidence intact.  At least I approached a situation behaving like a man and not a 15-yr old girl.  It's the whole "nice guys never get the girl" subject, really.  I, and others, have heard too much (and have been through too much) to believe otherwise. 














Besides, Mary, I tried the poem and letter garbage when I was a teenager.  It never works. 
My wife of 9 years, however... I met her by going up and kissing her. 
Of course, she says that she would have rather had a poem or a song or something, but that's AFTER she's wearing my Grandma's Russian-gold wedding band. 
The proof is in the pudding, as they say. 

Oh dear god I disappear for a week or two and this is what I come back to. *sighs*

Dude first off women like a man to be a man, you don't need to grunt and drag he about by the hair but definately do not act effiminate when you talk to her about this. Sensitive attentive and thoughtful is one thing but sappy poetry won't be taken seriously. Don't cheapen it by being cliche be yourself with a dose of confidence that's all.
Second she already knows you like her and is obviously waiting for you to say something, which means she wants you to be a man sack up and broach the subject.
If you don't follow through I am gonna come ball punch you and reclaim your man card.

Sup BP.  Haven't seen ya for a while...  of course I haven't been on here much.

You can have my man card...  It seems that I can't use it.

So after not being able to invite her to dinner or tell her how I feel Saturday and today, I was ready to just give up (hence my previous post^^^).

I was texted another friend (only two friends know about my problem), and I was able to be convinced to just text her an invite to dinner as a treat for leaving the shyt-hole.

I dont feel as stressed out right now...  not sure why.  I haven't heard back from her yet (sometimes she doesn't reply for a day), but I'm not depressed about how stupid I am or anything like that.  strange.





On a side note: I really hope this doesn't end like my previous attempt at a relationship with a friend...  My BEST friend back then.  I told her how I felt 8 years ago, and we went out on dates a few times, but we drifted apart.  I haven't seen her in about 7 years.  I don't regret telling her, but I do regret ruining a great friendship.

Start with, "Hey babe, let's screw."... It will all be up from there... 

uh...

Yeah...  the correct statement there would be "It'll be all OVER from there..."