Thats a good one, I like... lol

WARNING COMPLETLY TASTELESS:

god was my co-pilot until I crashed in the mountains and had to eat him to survive. I actually saw that on a bumper sticker one day.

I go to the dyslexic church of dog!

See told you awful tasteless jokes

WARNING THESE WILL GET YOU SLAPPED



What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

nothing you already told her twice.



How do you fix a broken dishwasher?

slap her

ANOTHER TASTLESS ONE

"Ok buddy, you drop that cross one more time, and you're out of the parade!"

Why shouldnt you buy a woman a watch for her birthday.....




What the hell does she need a watch for there's a clock on the damn stove.

Quotegod was my co-pilot until I crashed in the mountains and had to eat him to survive. I actually saw that on a bumper sticker one day.

I go to the dyslexic church of dog!

See told you awful tasteless jokes

Dogs are not tasteless.  It all depends on how you cook them.

-Porkchop

So far, page two of this thread SUCKS.  lmao

A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully."

The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the girl calls the pet store.

The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there."

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

A young fellow ran into an old man who was carring a bag.

"What's in the bag?" the youngster asked.

"magic apples", the old man replied.

"Prove it", said the young man.

"Well, besides apples, what is your favorite two fruits?" asked the old man.

"Watermelon and peaches", he answered.

The man handed him an apple and told him to try it out. The boy took a bite and said that it tasted like a watermelon. "Ok, turn it over", he said.

The boy did and took another bite and said that it tasted like a peach.

The youngster still wasn't convinced that they were magic.

The old fellow told him to name something else that he liked to eat.

"I like to eat kitty cat." he snapped.

The man handed him another apple and told him to try it.

He took a big bite, spit it out, wipped his mouth and esclaimed, "That tasted like shaZam!".

The old man looked at him, smiled and said, "Turn it over."

The sex frogs joke was hilarious!!!  lmao

Quote from: annguyen1981 on June 26, 2009, 04:21:30 PM
The sex frogs joke was hilarious!!!  lmao

yes, quite good

LMFAO   

BREAKING NEWS!

Toy Box Scandal Revealed!

Last night a young girl open her toy box only to find Raggedy Anne sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming lye to me! lye to me!   

















this little girl was scared for life and later in developed a secret fetish... hmmm? 

come on peeps, i know there more jokes out there....... where you at cafeboy, hell your a walking joke, look at ya.........



























haha LOL 

have a few on me cafeboy     OPPS, i meant these 

You know how to tell that GOD has a sense of humor gsagent ?































Look in the mirror. 

 

There was this old woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses." She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, "Do you have "Two Lips and Seven Kisses?"

The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, "No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!"

So the woman asked, "Is this a record?"

To which the man replied, "No, its average!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards." said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!"

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!"

Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall. "Oh my God!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man went into a store and began looking around. He saw a washer and dryer, but there was no price listed on them. He asked the sales person "How much are the washer and dryer?"

"Five dollars for both of them," the salesman said.
"Yeah right, you've got to be kidding me!" the man replied sarcastically.
"No, that's the price," the salesman said, "Do you want to buy them or not?"
"Yeah, I'll take them!" the customer responded.

He continued to look around and saw a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, speakers, and subwoofers. "How much?" he asked.

"Five dollars for the system," the salesman answered.
"Is it stolen?" the guy asks.
"No," said the salesman, "It's brand new, do you want it or not?"
"Sure," the customer replied. He looked around some more.

Next he found a top of the line computer with printer and monitor. "How much?"
"Five dollars," was the familiar response.
"I'll take that too!" the man said.

As the salesperson is ringing up the purchases, the man asked him,
"Why are your prices so cheap?"

The salesman said, "Well, the owner of the store is at my house right now with my wife.
What he's doing to her, I'm doing to his business!"

THIS ONE JUST OUT:
What's the difference between a haaaaaaackey mom and a Pit Bull?

Pit Bulls don't quit!   

Q: whats the problem with obama jokes?,

A: His followers dont think theyre funny, the rest dont think they are jokes

Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on July 04, 2009, 02:22:20 PM
Q: whats the problem with obama jokes?,

A: His followers dont think theyre funny, the rest dont think they are jokes

Now that's funny, I don't care WHO you are!

ill even go so far as to give a lol on the palin one you told