Obama motto: "If at first you don't succeed, change the rules."

Chuck Norris has Osama Bin Laden chained up in his backyard.

After Chuck Norris kills terrorists he takes away their 72 virgins.

Chuck Norris has hair on his feet. After he kicks someone in the head.

If Chuck Norris went to prison, he wouldn't be trapped with the other prisoners. They would be trapped with him.

Chuck Norris shaves using his own fingernails.

Chuck Norris eats frog legs so that they can't get away.

When Chuck Norris closes his eyes the world goes away.   
               
Chuck Norris has sides of beef for appetizers.

Three little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell down when Chuck Norris round-house kicked him in the head.

King Kong wouldn't stand a chance against Chuckzilla.

Atlantis? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can play World of Warcraft on dialup. And win.

Chuck Norris's bumper sticker: "I Stop for Nobody."

The building where they tape Walker: Texas Ranger is required by law to have fire escapes and Chuck Norris escapes.

When Chuck Norris takes a blood oath he always uses lots of the other person's blood.

Chuck Norris can slam elevator doors.

If Chuck Norris sees you eating curly fries he'll kill you.

Chuck Norris beats rocks, paper and scissors.

Chuck Norris carved an N in Zorro's chest.