In religion:

Confucianism : confucius say, " shaZam! happens"
Zen: what is the sound of shaZam! happening?
Catholicism: If shaZam! happens, you deserved it
Hinduism: This shaZam! has happened before
Agnosticism: You cant prove any of this shaZam!
Judaism: Why does shaZam! always happen to us?

In science and math:

Statistician: there is an 83.7% chance that shaZam! will happen
Einstein: shaZam! is relative
Theoretical physicist: shaZam! SHOULD happen
Chemist ( or bomb squad): i hope this shaZam! doesnt blow up

In various professions:

Doctor: take two shits and call me in the morning
Mafia boss: Rub the shaZam! out
Accountant: Why doesnt this shaZam! add up?
Waitress:  you want fries with that shaZam!?
Lawyer: For the right price, ill get you out of ANY shaZam!


Everywhere else:


Vegetarianism:  If it shits, dont eat it
Existentialism: shaZam! doesnt happen, shaZam! is
Communism: its everybodies shaZam!
Energizer bunny: shaZam! happens and keeps going, and going, and going.....................
Alcoholics anonymous: shaZam! happens, one day at a time

Aerospace Engineering: How does this oh my goodness even get off the ground...

Pizza chef: Who the f%$k eats this shaZam!  . i am one, and people order some ODD things